So what is Manifestation?

How does one define it?

The act or practice of trying to attain something desired by thinking about or focusing intensely on it, especially as a spiritual or self-help practice.

Well, that is how Dictionary.com defines it.

I also think that is the best way to explain what manifestation is, you focus intensely on achieving something, and the universe kind of conspires to give it to you.

Sounds great.

Does it work great too?

Rhonda Byrne in her book The Secret has talked a lot about the law of attraction, and how wanting it badly, writing about it numerous times, and throwing the word out in the universe can take you to your goals.

There is a reason millions of units have been sold, people love it, and it’s the best self-help book ever.

I am a believer in the law of attraction myself, I believe thoughts become things, and what you constantly think about will eventually find a place in your life but you have to want it badly.

But But But…

Does it end there?

Does wanting something will take you there on itself?

Can we just through our thoughts attract something we desire or do we have to put in the effort required?

Day in and day out.

Without consistent action, nothing works.

Nothing.

And if you have the quality to work hard consistently, nothing else matters, you will reach your goals, all of these tools are an add-on and a way to supplement your effort so that the journey becomes a little easier and can boost your confidence.

There is no alternate, no get-rich-quick scheme, or get-successful-quick theories.

No shortcuts.

We need to grind, the quality of working relentlessly will take you to the top if you stay consistent.

And if you strive and do whatever it takes to achieve your goals, then you don't need all these tools.

I am not saying you can't use manifestation to your advantage, you just can't spread the word and let the universe take care.

Sure you have to be focused on your goals, you can call it a kind of manifestation, but the law of attraction alone won't take you to success.

You have to back that up with effort and dedication.

I have seen people daydreaming about achieving their goals and calling it a manifestation.

I have seen friends writing three times a day on a notepad how they have become a sailor, or a doctor, or whatever they think of becoming.

And then lazying around, watching movies, clubbing, as if some divine power is now in charge of their dreams and they have manifested it.

Left it on the universe.

Haha...So Stupid.

It's like a cool word going around, which doesn't seem to bring any result for some.

I say “for some” for a reason.

On the flip side, if you combine manifesting, with hard work and full effort keeping in mind how your life will look after achieving that goal, it can be a great thing.

You have to keep looking at your goals, and stick it, stick them on your bathroom walls, your work desk, or anywhere you can keep looking at them every time.

This will prevent you from going astray from your final vision.

And you are attracting it continuously by looking at it continuously.

So I would say combine both of these things, manifest it, want it badly, keep thinking about it, get obsessed about achieving it, and then take consistent action.

Do. The. Work.

I haven't met a single person who has no aspirations, no matter his financial upbringing and social surroundings.

Everyone has it. Everyone aspires to become someone, every person has goals, no matter how little or big it is for him.

And that I think is the core of our lives, what else are we here for, if we paddle through an average existence, do menial jobs, raise a family, save enough money for our children, and die, only to be praised by some relatives and neighbors of what gentleman we were.

I am not against this kind of life; it is a safe, comfortable, and satisfying life surrounded by genuine connections and people you love.

I am talking about the people who want to achieve more, who are not satisfied with their present situation, and who are always searching for that next level.

But are afraid to begin their journey.

THEY ARE STUCK.

Either by their limitations, the things they constantly keep saying themselves as how it can’t be done, or by the people around them.

They are prisoners of their mind and that is the biggest trap there is.

Before you can go out and compete with this world, you have to compete with your mind, the mind believes what you constantly feed it.

So, make it a point from today onwards to feed it the concept of believing in yourself, to think nothing is impossible, and you will be amazed by the capabilities of this mind.

I mean that is just a great start.

Remember start somewhere, start now.

If you can just convince your mind that it can achieve any goal it focuses on, miracles will happen.

I am not saying it's going to be easy, nothing is, and nothing will be, but the joy you will experience once you get consistent and work for that goal, will be enriching, it will be all worth it, once you reach that finish line.

And take my word, you will ask yourself why you waited for so long.

Why were you wasting your life with so much potential?

You were just unaware, that is the life we have been taught to be lived.

Average, simple, comforting.

But all these dreams die, because of the courage it takes to start something challenging.

The courage to begin.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step- Lao Tzu

Lao Tzu the Chinese philosopher has said that the person who is brave enough to take the first step, for him the last step is not too far, no matter how far it seems.

As kids when we didn't know how to walk, we crawled.

We didn't see the adults walking on legs and got depressed.

We never gave up.

We tried instead, and we failed numerous times, but eventually, we all walked.

As we grow up we forget our childhood instincts and keep comparing ourselves to others' achievements and potential

Without finding ours.

If you dare to begin and have the consistency and determination to walk the journey despite the challenges, you will see miracles.

You will achieve success.

Remember, you can do all the plans, and think and journal it endlessly in your mind, but without executing and taking action towards it, the goal will always remain distant and you will find over the years that you are in the same place.

That is not what we want, we want to achieve and conquer and go all out.

And that is the only thing I want you to take away from this blog, if you want to achieve something and want to make your life better, you have to walk that path to excellence.

To start is to sow the seed for excellence.

To take the first step towards getting better is to reject the idea of being mediocre.

Consistency will prove how badly you want to succeed.

The persistence will prove how serious you are about your goals.

The patience will prove how much the goals mean to you.

So start with hands shivering and legs trembling, good it only shows how big your goals are.

But start and be courageous to not give up along the way.

That will separate you from the crowd.

Start Now.

Start with what you have,

Start Now.

You could wake up from sleep one fine morning and find yourself questioning your direction in life, as in where you are heading, are you building something, are you progressing, are you becoming better or are you just stuck?

Or for worse you are just holding on to the idea that you have a safe job, that takes care of the family.

That should be enough.

Isn't that a true example of an ideal life?

Well, that is what we have been taught since a very young age, get educated get a job and your life will be settled.

A safe and secure Job, a loving family, a healthy life, no stress, just being comfortable in your own space.

True that.

It is the best kind of life, hassle-free and peaceful.

But there is a man, who has all of these things but one fine morning he gets up depressed, he feels he lacks something and as if he is wasting his full potential and time.

But he rebukes the thought and keeps going on in his ideal routine of a 9–5 job, coming home happy to his loving son and beautiful wife.

The next day the same thing happens and he feels sad waking up, surely something inside him is not happy with the life he is leading.

Probably he is the type of person who does not settle for less than his potential, he always believed himself to be an overachiever.

But life has happened and he has self convinced himself that he is comfortable now, and that is what he always wanted.

And has got what he sailed out to achieve?

No, not.

You could do more, You should do more.

There is not a world of difference between Us and the people who have achieved more in their lives and are at the top, they have just refused to live an average life, they worked hard and refused limitations.

I agree it takes more time, it demands sacrifice, and the road to success is full of challenges.

But so what?

Wouldn't success and achieving your goals be worth it?

And wouldn't it give you the satisfaction?

People who achieve great things are just too careful of life and the time they spend on things.

They are mindful, Yes, They are totally in control of their life and hence they become successful.

I am not against anyone who lives a life too secure and monotonous and likes being in their comfort zone.

They follow their daily routines, party around, and call that a life.

That is not a life to me.

That is just a human life wasted to bits.

To be a human is to always look for ways to become better.

Always better than yesterday.

It sounds cliche.

You must be thinking you have read that in some motivational quote somewhere.

But that is what it is, no matter how you say it.

Whether it is in the office to get to a better rank or position or to open a new business that has been in your mind for a long time, to learn a new skill, to join the gym, or to read for an hour every day.

Anything goes, anything works, and any idea exists as long as you are serious about becoming the best, your best self.

There is so much to be, there is so much to do, and truly we aren't cautious of the time.

Remember time flies by if you let it.

And there will be nothing left instead of the guilt.

Do you want to be that person?

Hell no!

We Work.

So it is time to wake up and do those things that you always wanted to but the fear of beginning something new or fear of failure has stopped you from starting.

A life well lived is by people who are constantly striving for more.

They are always chasing a goal.

They are hungry for success.

They are never satisfied.

So, the things that are bothering you and the voices that are not letting you sleep, are true, they never lie.

They know your true potential and they don't want to see you so complacent and satisfied with this average existence.

They want to see you shine brighter than everyone else.

They know you can achieve anything you set your mind to.

The time is right now, Take that first step in the pursuit of greatness.

It won't disappoint you.

But surely amaze you with your amazing capabilities and possibilities.

I am Rooting for your success.

Keep Striving.

Have you ever felt like being so fond of someone that you cannot spend a single minute without them?

Or being terrified at the thought of losing them?

Or there are times when we feel inadequate in front of the girl we love, to put simply we put her on a pedestal( in our minds of course!) and fear that they can leave us for any other guy sooner or later.

Happened to me at a time in my life( Oh it was a bad space to be in).

And and and must have happened to the majority of you at any point in your life in the past.

Also, this is not a gender-specific thing, I mean women chase men too, but comparatively lesser than what men do, and being a Man and having done it myself in my past relationship, I have a better perspective from men's point of view.

I mean I learned that lesson the hard way, but trust me have come out of it being a more, confident and secure person, that is how life is, we grow, we learn, and we should learn that lesson in a way that we should never repeat that thing again(Otherwise we are just preparing ourselves to be doomed).

Now believe that you are the great catch.

And a woman will only be lucky to spend some time with you.

MIND you cannot just say these words to make yourself falsely believe that you are, you have to become one. ( No bluffing here! We are going for total self-improvement)

How do you become one?

We will talk about that in a while.

For now, let's just explore the possible reasons why men chase women.

So this thing is on a historic rise nowadays in the world of social media, and seeing and finding attractive women seem to be in our hands.

Men have been chasing women since the dawn of human existence, and this is so ingrained in our DNA that this phenomenon continues to this day. But what drives this behavior? Is it simply the result of biological impulses or are there other factors at play?

From a biological standpoint, men have a natural desire to procreate and pass on their genes to the next generation. Therefore, they are biologically programmed to seek out potential partners who are fertile and able to bear children. This can explain why men often pursue younger women or those who display physical attributes associated with fertility, such as clear skin, full lips, and a symmetrical face.

But if we discard the biological theory some men chase women for societal norms and cultural expectations. For example, in many cultures, men are expected to be assertive and take the lead in romantic pursuits, while women are expected to be more passive and receptive.

This has somehow led to a wrong portrayal of modern dating culture, films, and pop culture have also asserted that men should be doing all the work, bringing flowers, gifts, and chocolates. Buying attention through gifts won't ever get you the girl.

Instead, you should think that you are enough, your time is a valuable asset as you are a busy man with things to do, and if you are giving your time to that woman, then that is everything.

The desire for companionship, emotional connection, or simply because they find the person interesting or attractive, compels a man to chase a woman.

Men are competitive creatures and winning is all they want, and they start seeing a girl as a trophy to be conquered, it never works out that way, and it never will and that ego hurt compels men to keep trying and they become desperate in the eyes of that girl.

Why do that?

Huh!

3,905 million women in the world still chasing that ONE woman?

There is no ONE, and there is no Soul mate, great that someone finds theirs along the way and decided to stick around, found joy and relief in each other, and tried to keep the relationship working, but for the majority of us these things don't exist.

So, here are the 5 ways to stop chasing women…

1. Focus on your own self-improvement.

Instead of constantly thinking about chasing women, take some time to focus on yourself. One of the main reasons why men chase women is because they feel inadequate and incomplete without them, they have low self-worth and they think women will eventually complete their existence.

That is a dangerous way to think, as it can ruin your dating life as “Getting a girl is not success.” Success cannot be getting a girl because that means failure is being alone. No. Failure is being in an unhappy marriage or a relationship where she has no actual interest in you.”

We say purpose solves everything and without purpose, there is no true man a purposeful man with hobbies and goals will never go chasing after women, he will rather attract them because of his own interests in his life.

I am not saying a focused and purposeful life will get you all the girls, but it is way better than begging for attention from someone who is just not interested in you.

You also gain confidence and a sense of purpose that will make you less likely to chase after women.

So dedicate your life to one pursuit only, and that is to improve, in every aspect of your life, make money make muscles, the right ones won't be asking to be chased, and the feelings stay mutual.

2. Do not force anything and let it happen organically.

Most men when they first meet a girl for a date, appear way too desperate in their actions and a woman naturally detects that he has low confidence and is very needy and pushy.

Ever thought about what compels a man to behave in such a way?

There can be multiple reasons.

His low self-confidence, his upbringing as Mr. Nice Guy, and his less interaction with girls growing up among multiple reasons.

What do we do when we find ourselves in this spot and continuously getting rejected?

• Try to adopt a more relaxed approach to dating and relationships. Focus on building connections with people naturally, without feeling like you have to constantly chase them. Work on yourself, meet new people, read books and overall become an interesting person by adding useful and uplifting habits into your life.

It is a win-win situation for a man, you are getting things done, you are improving, you are working on your body, working out, eating well, working on your career, getting rich, you are learning new things and evolving, where is the time to chase women?

There's not, and when the thought disappears, and you are well on your way to becoming better then you may take along someone for this joyride, which is your own fulfilled life, and you are not seeking validation.

3. Identifying your own self-worth.

I feel having low self-worth is the seed of all things chasing and desperation.

It's not only restricted in the case of women but it can happen when around your family members, friends, or colleagues.

• Low self-worth is nothing but your belief in your abilities, your mindset, and how you deal with tough situations.
• If you always avoid it and stay in that comfort zone of yours, you simply won't grow, and without growth, we aren't supposed to be having a fulfilled life.
• Confidence is a trait, a beautiful trait in anyone, but to have good self-confidence you need to always challenge yourself to do the hard stuff, to check your willpower.

Is it even there?

Have you ever challenged yourself to not eat junk food?

Or going for a run daily?

Or quit smoking if you do?

Or take the risk to set up that business?

You have to start small and start somewhere.

Even if you fail and fail you will, don't get disheartened and keep at it, checking and improving on all the areas you went wrong.

All these qualities that you practice day in and day out build your confidence and your high-quality self-worth.

You are NOW somebody.

Not someone with false arrogance but a fulfilled personality.

And this Man doesn't chase.

He has a lot of things going on for him, he has things to work on.

4. Learn to read women’s behavior

There are certain women who are great at playing games with men in all possible ways.

Reason being

• They just enjoy the thrill of having low-esteem guys with zero self-worth treat them like princesses and have some fun, it just boosts their ego.

But there are also women who are just straightforward with their intentions and don't want to move ahead with a man because they are just not interested.

I have a lot of respect for the girls who don't play around and save both a lot of time but the most important thing as a man is to identify and learn to assess personalities.

Being present and observant solves a lot of problems.

Being aware of the signs that she gives you also helps in knowing if she is really into you or not.

It’s important to be able to read social cues and understand when a woman is interested or not. If she’s not interested, it’s best to respect her boundaries and move on rather than continue to chase her.

5. Become a cool and composed personality.

There are essentially two kinds of people for every situation

• One that stresses out and complicates little problems and totally messes it up
• And the second one always finds a way with things, he is more present, stays cool, breathes in and out a couple of times, and always comes up with a rational solution.

Which one would you rely upon more?

Or trust when things get truly messed up in a situation.

Surely the second one.

And that is the same when you get attracted to a girl, it's a very human thing and that is how we are programmed, it's irresistible to not approach a pretty girl.

Go and talk to her, but don't chase after that few exchanges with her.

Let her come to you organically.

Let things happen naturally, that way you make better connections and long-lasting too.

Many men come across as pushy or disrespectful when chasing women, which can be a major turn-off. Focus on treating women with respect, listening to them, and not trying to force anything. This will help you build better connections with women and could lead to more meaningful relationships.

So, try to incorporate these traits into your personality and you could see the changes.

After all, every result happens when you change yourself from within.

“No man is free who is not a master of himself.” — Epictetus

Don't look for ways to attract any women but rather work on yourself, in every aspect, and be consistent because it never happens in a month or year, it's an ongoing process.

Once you have reached a level and living a fulfilled life, the right woman will come to you, and from then on you have a choice whether to take her on the joyride or not.

In India, because of the nature of our society, and the close extended family bonds to loving mothers, we get caught in a situation where everyone judges everyone for not living the life they want us to lead.

That is how it is.

The youth really needs help with this.

Forget youth, who would want outside interference in their personal lives and decisions?

Would you?

Surely not!

We quite often explain this situation as “Log Kya Kahenge”.

Which means what will people say?

How will they perceive you?

What do they think about you?

Are you the wrong person in their eyes?

There is a very famous story to explain this entire idea of people constantly judging and criticizing others.

A father, son, and their donkey were walking down the road approaching a market.

Some people saw them walking alongside and laughed at their foolishness.

‘Hey! Look at them they have a donkey, but they aren't riding on it, if they would have been smart they would have ridden it but they are walking alongside, how foolish’

Listening to their opinion the father and son leaped onto the donkey’s back and faced backlash for torturing a poor animal by people on the streets.

Hearing this the father jumped down on the street and the son kept riding the donkey when people pointed at them to say ‘How cruel a son is he, his old father with weak knees is walking in the heat and he is enjoying sitting on the donkey.’

After this statement, the son started walking and the father sat on the donkey's back. Nothing seemed to stop the locals as someone said how stupid that old man is that he has no wisdom after living for so many years and he is enjoying the ride while his young son is toiling on the streets barefoot.

It became really difficult for the father and son as to what should they do next to please the locals.

They thought of a way where they would take two bamboo sticks and carry the donkey on their shoulders and walk.

There was no other way left as they had done everything.

While they were crossing a river bridge people started laughing and shouting in numbers as how they have never seen a sight like this, never saw two fools carrying a donkey on their back.

The loud shouting and noises frightened the donkey and it jumped off into the river along with the father and son.

The donkey didn't survive but the father and his son saved their lives as they knew how to swim.

No matter what you do in life right or wrong. People always have an opinion of others' life.

It is quite easy. It does not take a lot of effort in criticizing and degrading someone else but it always takes a lifetime to know oneself.

Start living your life from within.

Real life is lived from within, not from the talks and opinions of the outside world.

And if you keep giving enough importance to the outside you will eventually lose everything.

Everything.

And there are a lot of people outside, whose opinion will you listen to?

Whose words will you obey?

The fault is really ours because we want to stay in our comfort zone for a long time, and we don't make our own decisions, as a result, our decisions are made by others, why have you allowed them to take your life's decisions?

Let the decision come from your deepest and truest being. Do whatever you want to do.

No matter what price you have to pay for that decision, stick by it and keep challenging your willpower.

Even if that goal comes at the cost of death, if it does happen you will be at least satisfied that you did what you wanted to do, you didn't sell yourself to others, and didn't make compromises.

The internal voice that says “I am dying but I did the thing I loved doing.”

No external influence.

The same kind of satisfaction the philosopher Socrates must have had drinking that poison, Mansoor must have had when his neck was cut, and Jesus must have had while been crucified.

The satisfaction, ultimate satisfaction that you did what you wanted to do, and didn't compromise on anything with anyone.

Do what you want to do. Live your life on your own terms. I am not asking you if that work is right or wrong. That decision is also on you to take, who will decide it for you? Have they got everything done right in their own life?

The people who say they love you today and bring garlands of roses for you will bring garlands of shoes for you the next day, as they don't take time to change, they were never there for you but in your mind, you always kept them on a pedestal.

By living life on your own terms, you can experience a sense of purpose, fulfillment, and happiness that comes from pursuing your own dreams and aspirations.

Your peace matters a lot to you, don't let it be disturbed by someone else.

While there may be obstacles and setbacks along the way, the journey of living life on your own terms can and will be rewarding and empowering.

Walk the path for once my dear friend, things change with consistency.

And the feeling of wanting something from your heart and going all out for it, giving consistent efforts, buids a strong character.

I am concluding this topic on the same Hindi phrase that I used in the beginning which said ‘ Log Kya Kahenge’ (What will people say?).

Don't be bothered by that, be unfazed, believe in your own decision-making skills, and be confident through regular actions.

Remember these famous lines from a Hindi feature film that goes like ‘Kuch toh log kahenge, logon ka kaam hai kehna, choro bekaar ki baton mein, kahi beet na jaaye raina.

This literally sums up the whole purpose of this article and says that ‘ people will always say something, they have a habit of criticizing but don't get bothered by it otherwise your life will get wasted.’

Have you ever wondered why we keep telling ourselves that we will start working out tomorrow or eat a clean diet from this fresh Monday of the coming week?

No right?

Happens.

Happens to all of us.

Happens with the best of us.

“The greatest amount of wasted time is the time not getting started.” — Dawson Trotman

But why do we do this or repeat this habit, in spite of knowing clearly the consequences it is going to have on our life and work overall?

Ultimately this habit just overpowers us, it overpowers our willpower, and we are just caught in a vicious cycle of repeating the same thing over and over again.

We keep letting things off for tomorrow, or a new date.

Productivity and improvement go for a toss.

So, How do we define procrastination?

• Procrastination is the act of delaying or postponing tasks or actions, often to the extent of dealing with negative consequences. It includes putting off tasks that need to be completed, either by deliberately delaying them or by doing other activities that are less important or pleasurable but often provide temporary distraction or relief from the discomfort of the task.

Procrastination causes feelings of guilt, stress, and anxiety, combined with poor performance and missed opportunities.

And why is it important to understand procrastination?

When days pass by without you making any improvements or getting results you curse yourself and the next day again gets repeated like this, and this cycle continues.

Remember time is limited for each of us.

Whether you do the task or don't, it never gives you a second chance.

So you need to make the most of the time you have right now.

And to do that you have to remove things or habits that aren't helping you to grow.

Procrastination is the most important one, because you may have the motivation and energy to visualize your goals but the habit of procrastination is stopping you big time.

So, you wouldn't want to ignore the most important factor that is stopping you from achieving success.

And you understand it when you are mindful of yourself and how your brain reacts to a certain impulse.

When you identify that you are lazying around and are not committed to the task you need to do, be mindful that it's the habit of procrastination that is taking over.

The Psychology of Procrastination.

“The only thing procrastination gives you is a delayed start.” — Maria Forleo

• The role of impulsivity and self-control

Impulsivity is the tendency to do things without giving much thought to the outcome of your work. Individuals who are highly impulsive may act on their impulses without considering the long-term implications of their actions. This can lead to impulsive behaviors such as overspending, substance abuse, and risky sexual behaviors.

Whereas self-control implies being mindful and thinking about the effect of the time you are going to give on a certain action. They are also wary of long-term goals and don't resort to short-term gratification.

This can lead to positive outcomes such as better academic and career success, improved relationships, and better physical health.

Both of these traits create a huge impact on how a person tackles when thinking of procrastination.

• The impact of anxiety and perfectionism

Both anxiety and perfectionism are known to be risk factors for mental health issues such as depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and eating disorders.

The fear of being judged also keeps an individual away from social gatherings and interacting with a large crowd.

“Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.” — Don Marquis

This often leads them to sway away from the big task at hand, they try and run away blaming their own mental weakness as a sure-shot reason for procrastinating.

• The relationship between procrastination and motivation

Procrastination is the tendency to delay or avoid tasks, while motivation is the driving force that inspires us to take action and achieve our goals.

Procrastination is generally a result of a lack of motivation, it happens that we may feel unmotivated to tackle a task that seems overwhelming or difficult.

On the other hand, procrastination can also be a way to cope with negative emotions or anxiety related to a task, which can temporarily relieve stress but ultimately leads to decreased motivation and productivity.

It is also important to remember that procrastination doesn't really mean a lack of motivation altogether, in some cases, people procrastinate as a way to increase their motivation and involvement with a task, as the pressure of an upcoming deadline can create a sense of urgency and increase focus.

You know what, the relationship between procrastination and motivation is quite complex and multi-layered, although procrastination can hinder motivation in the short term if we focus and be aware of the feeling of procrastination when it arrives we can use motivation to our best potential.

How to Stop Procrastinating.

Behind every action you take there is a motive, if you don't want to work on your most important tasks and are scrolling social media mindlessly, your brain is getting its dose of dopamine and has been badly addicted to it.

While the internal voice keeps reminding you that you are wasting time and fooling yourself, the kick that you are getting on spending time on all these frivolous tasks is just too overwhelming.

Hasnt we all been there?

Tell me.

Now how do we get out?

• Identify and address the underlying causes of procrastination

People who tend to be perfectionists or have a fear of failure may procrastinate in order to avoid making mistakes or facing criticism.

Now, How do you address this part, this complex part?

It can be helpful to reframe mistakes as opportunities for growth and to set realistic goals. Your perspective regarding failure has to change and you should challenge yourself to take the first step, actually, our mind works the best when we have our backs against the walls.

• Develop effective time management skills.

Always prioritize your tasks, and get very particular about them, it has to be the number one thing in your mind when you wake up.

Make a list of all the tasks you need to complete and prioritize them based on their importance and urgency. This will help you focus on the most critical tasks and avoid wasting time on less important ones. Also, break them down into smaller tasks so you are not left daunted by their magnitude of it.

Use a calendar or a planner to be watchful and productive and keep checking it as you complete them.

Avoid distractions when at work.

• Practice self-compassion and positive self-talk.

Being nice to yourself really works. I mean it is one aspect of your personality that is hampering your growth big time.

Now, we must socialize a bit and can define our personality to be shaped according to the company of people we keep or hang around.

It does to an extent but what about the things we keep muttering to ourselves the 24 hours?

Self-talk can elevate your life in a big way, it can bring improvements you weren't aware of.

Start by paying attention to the negative self-talk that fuels your procrastination. For example, you may tell yourself things like, “I’ll never get this done,” “I’m too tired to work on this right now,” or “It’s too hard, I’ll just do it later.”

Once you’ve identified your negative self-talk, challenge it by asking yourself if it’s really true. For example, is it really true that you’ll never get this done? Or is it just a fear that’s holding you back?

Once you’ve challenged your negative self-talk, replace it with positive affirmations. For example, you could tell yourself, “I can do this,” “I’ve overcome challenges like this before,” or “I’m capable and strong.”

Repetitions create success, consistency develops a strong character.

So, if I sum up the whole problem of procrastination, it is nothing but a sum of bad habits and repeated delaying of action, which is required to be done.

Taking active steps creates momentum and helps you move forward. Even if you begin with a small step, you’ll find that it’s easier to keep going once you’ve begun. Momentum multiplies, and you’ll feel more motivated to continue working towards your goal.

When you’re procrastinating, you’re not making progress toward your goals.

By taking action, you’ll become more productive and efficient.

Get on it from today.

Conquer.

What do we really mean when we say our dear ones and people we hold close to us that we trust them?

Ever given full thought to it?

Or like the majority of us, just kept affirming that if you have feelings for someone trust comes as a given trait.

Barely so.

Because this is one area in your relationship that you both need to work on consistently and it builds over time.

Trust is a crucial component of any healthy and successful relationship, as it gives a sense of security, when you trust your partner, you feel safe and secure in the relationship.

You have faith that your partner will be honest with you, keep their promises, and remain faithful. This sense of security helps to create a stable and healthy foundation for your relationship.

Trusting your partner will also aid in the intimacy between you two, as you become more comfortable and open to them, the extent of your liking deepens and you share more easily about your fears, feelings, and thoughts.

All this only works in the relationship's favor as it gets deepened and your bond strengthens.

Having trust in your partner also allows you both to grow, in short, it allows for more freedom which is a very important component for a relationship to prosper.

Without freedom, there is no love.

Without trust, there is no freedom.

Trust never belittles the other person.

Its characteristic is to let the other person blossom and grow.

This creates a sense of unity and teamwork in a relationship.

When both partners trust each other, they can rely on each other for support, and work together to overcome challenges and achieve shared goals.

What are the TYPES of trust in a relationship?

• Emotional trust.

When we say emotional trust, we are pointing out the most foundational aspect of trust. This is the most necessary element to have when in a relationship. Your partner feels safe when you are open and honest in sharing your feelings and emotions and being there in their tough times.

• Physical trust.

Physical trust appears when partners can actually respect each other’s boundaries, be faithful, and keep each other safe from harm.

• Financial trust.

Having your finances and money matters in place is a very important aspect of growth in life and being free from anxiety, when you can share your finances and are open to making wise financial decisions with your partner it really gives peace.

• Social trust.

To be honest, in relationships especially here in India when you aren't married and sort of dating your partner, you are constantly in the eye of the public, and you do get judged.

In public places, in housing societies, and various other places, being comfortable in each other's company and sailing through all that with a smile answers what they were questioning in the first place.

So trusting wholeheartedly just makes things easy.

Tips for building trust in a relationship.

1. Being Honest.

Some things in life aren't too complicated as we make them be, I see people saying all kinds of stuff about relationships and how all these are sucking the life from our careers.

But I urge you to ask yourself honestly, aren't we at fault at times and by doing that we made our partner lose faith in us?

Be honest if you really care about your relationship, otherwise don't enter.

Avoid lying or hiding things from your partner as it can erode trust.

2. Listen Closely and Communicate Respectfully.

Often times we give our opinion and voice so much importance that we forget to hear their point of view or their side of the story.

This is one of the many reasons relationships fail.

Understanding your partner's point of view and validating their feelings, will allow them to be open with you and that really builds trust.

All you have to do is stay on the back foot and have patience and cordiality when they speak.

Another red flag in destroying your relationship is constantly blaming, criticizing, and attacking your partner.

Always be calm and patient at these times.

3. Respect Each Other’s Privacy.

When it comes to gaining trust from your partner, it's very important to be mindful of their own space, a space where they need nobody.

It's necessary to understand that everyone has a different comfort level and you need to find that out, they aren't too comfortable sharing their personal information just as yet.

Don't resort to snooping on their phones or social media without permission.

I say, don't do it in any circumstance.

Be bold and ask them out openly if you have some questions in mind.

4. Don't Judge Or Criticize.

There is a difference between constructive feedback and outright criticizing your partner's actions that didn't please you.

If you judge them, people tend to do those things more often and they will lose any trust that must have build-up, hampering your relationship.

Instead, support them in their endeavors and if you think they are not doing the right thing just talk and be open to them but don't take that pessimistic route, it drains the relationship of all the positive things you two have built up over time.

5. Build Intimacy By Acknowledging Differences.

Relationships are tough and whoever has been in a serious and meaningful relation will resonate with the fact that it needs constant nurturing and hard work where two people need to sacrifice in order to be together.

And that is the little fun of life which says no matter how tough it gets we will hang on to each other.

When you really stand at a place where you realize things can fall off, is time you start putting in more effort.

Emotional intimacy is crucial to building trust.

Spend quality time together, share your deepest thoughts and feelings, and be vulnerable with each other. This strengthens your bond and deepens your connection.

“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” — Stephen Covey.

Building trust is the most important aspect of a healthy relationship, at the beginning when two people start getting to know each other and are not quite emotionally attached to each other, trust is not quite there in the picture yet and they are focused on having a good time in each others company.

But over time when they decide to be in a long-term relationship is when trust comes into the picture, and that is when sustaining a relationship becomes harder.

And I truly believe if two people really want to be together they always find a way to stay together, they overcome challenges, they overcome hard times and they make it work.

And they make it work because of the trust they have in each other.

They always find a way.

“Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.” — Samuel Johnson.

In my opinion, self-confidence is a word thrown quite frequently around in sentences, in lofty speeches, and in success stories, which in turn diminishes the whole context of this word.

It really does carry some weight on it and it's quite a game changer if the majority understands or imbibes its true quality.

So what exactly is self-confidence?

Self-confidence is the belief in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgments.

It is a feeling of trust in oneself and one’s capacity to meet challenges and achieve goals.

Self-confidence can be developed through experience, accomplishment, and positive self-talk.

When individuals achieve their goals or successfully navigate challenging situations, they build a sense of self-efficacy, which is a key component of self-confidence.

Likewise, when people focus on their strengths, affirm their own abilities, and maintain a positive outlook, they can boost their self-confidence.

But people often confuse self-confidence with being arrogant, these are two different attitudes and should be carefully worked on by being realistic.

Arrogance involves an exaggerated sense of self-importance, one where you roam around with a false sense of your being, while self-confidence is grounded in a true assessment of your abilities.

One where you have faith in your capabilities but are open to taking constructive criticism and feedback on areas to improve, unlike someone who is arrogant.

Enough talking about confidence, let's look at the other part of this conversation which is self-esteem.

Now self-esteem in itself is pretty similar to self-confidence, the only difference being when you have low self-esteem you question your own self-worth.

It refers to the beliefs and attitudes we hold about ourselves, and the extent to which we believe we are capable, competent, and deserving of happiness and success.

People with high self-esteem tend to have positive self-images and believe in their own abilities, while those with low self-esteem may doubt their worth and feel inadequate or inferior.

Low self-esteem can be a significant barrier to personal growth, happiness, and success.

# Factors That Affect Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

• Childhood experiences.

Having a difficult time growing up can lead to low confidence and self-esteem, there can be several reasons behind it, and am sure each one must have gone through phases that they don't want to remember growing up but the worst thing is the impact has been so darn hard that it keeps haunting us till date and we are still kept its prisoner.

Some children have been subject to physical and sexual abuse in their families, and some of them have been overly criticized, neglected by parents and society, bullied by friends, and in various other ways.

• Relationships and Social interactions.

Positive relationships can definitely build confidence, when we are cared for, loved, and supported by our partner we feel important, it can help us to feel more confident in ourselves and our abilities.

Positive relationships can provide a sense of validation and encouragement that can contribute to greater self-esteem.

On the other hand, negative relationships can hamper self-confidence and self-esteem as we are constantly in a state of doubt and negativity. We are constantly criticized and that really hampers our growth.

• Personal beliefs and self-talk.

This attribute is very important to determine the level of self-confidence and self-esteem in an individual.

James Allen has written a book called “As a man thinketh”, where he has emphasized that the quality of our thoughts determines the quality of our life.

That is the truth of life in front of you in case you are doubting yourself and don't feel quite confident in your abilities.

The inner mechanism has to be so strong and the power of your self-talk has to be so positive that you can never fail and achieve anything you set your mind to.

# Tips and Strategies for Building Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem.

• Practice self-compassion and positive self-talk.

There is a line from Coldplay's song Up&Up which says “Lying in the gutter, aiming for the moon, trying to empty out the ocean with a spoon, up&up”, I truly believe in these lines.

No matter what happens in life, no matter the challenges and the hardships, you have to keep moving forward with your head held high.

You first need to work around your thought process and try feeding positive thoughts to your mind, that in turn reflects in your work and builds confidence.

Also, self-compassion is necessary in a competitive world, where everyone is so self-centered.

You have to be your own hero, you have to be kind to yourself, and you have to become your own best friend.

• Set realistic goals and celebrate accomplishments.

Building self-confidence is not a two-day hack, it takes its own sweet time, you need to be mindful of it, every time you think you are getting nervous or your self-deprecating thoughts are taking over, you practice overcoming them with positive self-talk.

Dont rush.

Build confidence through work, only achieving goals will build confidence.

Be consistent and mindful both with your work and positive thoughts.

Celebrate your progress. When you achieve a step, celebrate your success and recognize the effort you put in.

• Invest your time in self-care activities.

There are several self-care activities that you can invest your time in which in turn will boost self-esteem and build self-confidence.

Like exercising for 30 minutes a day 5 days a week. It's a great way to unwind and exercising releases feel-good hormones that boost your self-confidence.

Reading books from writers that inspire you by sharing their own struggle stories can help you cope with your own self-confidence.

Meditation is another beautiful way to become a better more mindful person, it lets you focus and be in tune with your own self.

Do not set lofty goals in the beginning for yourself, by doing that you are only setting yourself up for failure. Take baby steps in the pursuit of your goals, set smaller goals, and be consistent in achieving them.

Building self-confidence and improving self-esteem takes a lot of courage from your side, as with everything else in your life these two things are about mindset shifts, and when you are in a habit of telling yourself you are not good and you lack certain abilities, it will take time to change your mindset to a more positive outlook on life.

But the good part is if you stay consistent enough and practice things that we have just talked about your self-confidence and self-esteem will get better over time and you will become a better person.

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” — Helen Keller

Commitment is the prerequisite for any success you want in life, heck it's the only attitude you need when trying to achieve the completion of a task.

If you want to create things in your life, you have to commit.

Be it anything from learning to play guitar, to losing weight, controlling anger, or any new or good habit that you want to build, you have to stay committed.

I say, if you aren't serious about success or don't want any change in your life, this article isn't for you.

Just being real.

I mean there are people who are ok with where they are in life, they live in their shells, have a nice comfort zone around them, and are complacent with what life gives them.

I mean it's their life, they are its masters, and I have nothing to do with that.

In this write up I am specifically talking to the people who are hungry for more, they want to level up, want to achieve success, and aren't satisfied with an average life.

These are the people I look up to, respect, and want to hang around with because they are just so restless to work harder than everyone.

The difference in these two attitudes to life is merely based on their internal mechanism, the way they perceive life, and the way their mindsets are.

One way of living life is to stay where you are and be comfortable, but don't expect to get success or achieve anything from that place.

Another way is the tough way, where you have to believe in your abilities and have to go after a dream, no matter what.

Now, why does the general population choose the earlier one? ( I mean the majority of ones)

It's simple, as that path is easy and generally more traveled by the majority.

And the other one requires dedication, discipline, and most importantly a COMMITMENT to just go on and not care what happens at the end.

It takes courage to commit.

It takes love for what you want to commit.

Remember you are in it for the long haul, it is not a 10-day thing, so you have to want it badly enough and have some love in your heart to ultimately achieve it.

You have to build a habit of commitment, How?

Just stick with it until you achieve what you have set out to achieve.

Create that want power.

Think about your goal and how it would be difficult to survive without it.

You have to remain focused.

Commitment is also a test of your strong willpower.

If you can challenge yourself to stick with it, not leave it midway, and finish what you began, it builds your confidence and lets you stay on your path of commitment.

Start small. Pick a goal and challenge yourself to stick with it for 2 days.

For example, eat clean and remove all sugar and junk food for just 2 days and see if you can do it.

This will reveal a lot about you as to how mentally strong you are.

After one victory the mind gets addicted to more victories, and that builds the attitude of not giving up and staying committed to achieving your goal.

And also there is no room for play pretend commitment, you either are going after your goals or you aren't.

You cannot fake commitment because it wants your total being and focus, and the results are your true identity.

Don't ever think that the greats and legends are built of some other material, they are the same as us, and probably they have failed more times than we expect they have, so they are no different, their greatness, their perception in our minds makes them different, that we can never match their level of success.

The only thing to keep in mind and the thing that separates them from the average joe is their attitude of sticking to their goals and never giving up.

Definitely pause and introspect their faults but never give up until they have achieved their goals.

You can do it too.

Just begin.

Action is the biggest antidote for anxiety.

Dont think. Do.

Let me start by saying that falling in love, is one of the most beautiful feelings ever(hands down).

Anyone who has been in a romantic relationship will agree on this one.

When you find someone you like, life seems great, companionship gives you another meaning to life one in which the constant support of your partner gives you courage, love, and self-confidence.

I mean deep down we all want it, no matter how busy we are in our careers but that care and support from the person we love is what we all crave.

Love makes us what we didn't expect we were or our personalities were, it takes us on a different trip, the trip of exploring and knowing our hidden emotions.

We often surprise ourselves with how far we can go for love and caring for our partner.

But life is unpredictable and it has a way of showing that to us from time to time.

Life is a great leveler.

When it sees we are overjoyed and overwhelmed and kind of too happy it has its way of bringing us down.

The same person that brought you so much joy, and everything that seemed perfect at first, can turn sour in a day's time.

Such is life.

One day you are in the company of your beloved partner and the next day they aren't there, they aren't picking up your calls, they have just left you midway.

The pretty picture that you have painted in your own mind about the possible future of you two being inseparable had been shackled.

Reality hits us hard, it does not bluff, it just reminds us of the frivolity of life. Accept it or live in denial.

• I am not going much into the reasons that led to the breakup and what you could have done to save the relationship(let's keep that for another day)
• I am also not pointing out in this article “who was at fault?”

Now that your relationship is over and your partner is officially your ex, why you should not keep in touch with them?

1. Keeping in touch won't let you move on and gives a false sense of their presence in your life.

This reason is quite self-explanatory if you truly understand its meaning.

I am assuming the relationship that you were in was quite serious and you were in it for a long term, (we aren't talking casual dating.)

So if you were planning for a future together with your ex and unfortunately you guys broke up, it's better to move on.

Because if you keep in touch, the memories of the past will keep coming back.

And that is a really bad space to be in and a complete waste of your time.

It's quite obvious you too had a history, you both must have shared great times together, and you must have had physical intimacy.

But at the present moment, none of that really matters, it's in the past now, and your partner isn't there anymore in your life.

• Why would you want to hold on to something that is dead?

Keeping in touch as platonic friends gives you that false comfort, but you will come to terms with it sooner or later that you don't want to have any other form of relationship with your partner apart from a passionate romantic relationship, so why drag it in the name of friendship?

You should always question your motives behind keeping in touch with an ex.

2. You are robbing yourself of the precious time in which you can meet and date someone better.

Lindsey Rodriguez, Quantitative UX Researcher at Meta, did two studies to find out two key things; what kind of people stay in touch with an ex, and why do they do it? “The first study surveyed 260 undergraduates, who had been with their current partner for at least a month and had a previous relationship that lasted at least three months. The second explored how contact with exes relates to the quality of the current relationship by examining people’s reasons for staying in touch. They surveyed 169 undergraduate students in relationships, who said they communicated with an ex at least once every couple of months.” [Source: Psychology Today]

I am not quite sure why people are doing this.

Maybe they were truly in love with each other, but if they were they shouldn't have broken up in the first place.

And now that they have broken up they have termed it as being friends, which eventually is going to hurt one of them if they ever had feelings for each other.

This also kind of ruins the relationship with their current partners.

So why put yourself in such a situation when life has so many more options?

The world is large, explore your options when you still have time, become an interesting person, read books, go to the libraries, go to places, and spend time where you can meet your prospective partners.

Why hang on to the past and a relationship that didn't last?

Who knows this person can actually provide you with all the love and support you were always looking for?

They can complete you.

Give yourself a break from the memories of your ex.

Give yourself a break from being stuck in the past when it does not serve your present well.

Give yourself the joy of meeting someone new and suitable.

Give yourself all of this.

You are worth so much more than this.

But don't look back.