Seasons of Life

When it comes to blogging, where have I been? And what have I been doing????

My ideal commitment is to blog on a weekly basis because even with little or no audience, the act of writing a regular blog helps me with habit, accountability and the practice of putting words together in some kind of sense. And I enjoy it, both the process and the sense of accomplishment.

Until I don’t.

I’m not sure what happens to me when I go into a season of disappearing. When it comes to blogging this past year, I showed up consistently for a while, meaning that I blogged almost on a weekly basis, showing up on the page and showing up for myself. And now I’m barely doing once a month.

I’m trying to understand what’s blocking me. It feels like a disappearing or like a hibernation…. except I’m not a bear…

Have I said everything I wanted to say? Am I out of ideas? Is this taking away time and energy from other writing? Am I burned out? Worn out? Overwhelmed? Bored with myself? Lazy? Getting too old for this?

I did have my parents visit for about a month, which impacted my time and normal schedule. I also visited them for an additional 10 days, creating more of a continued schedule interruption. Even though I took a 4-week writing class during this time to keep up some inspiration, I noticed I felt relieved about the interruption to my schedule, like having extended snow days at school.

I’m back to some normalcy now, without the company of my parents, and the class has ended. I’m trying to get back into my routine, get myself together, but it seems to be happening in slow motion.

And maybe this is just how it is. Maybe this is just how I am. Rather than being driven to produce and perform, I appear, then disappear. I work, then rest. I build and gather, then hibernate. Because it seems so random and a little embarrassing, considering society’s (and my own) emphasis on constant production, I try to overanalyze why I cannot seem to maintain consistency. I mourn the reality that I cannot be more robotic, more driven, more prolific.

But this is how it is. And if so — if this is how I work — then I’ll just have to go with it and count it all joy, as a part of my ‘real-life’ life. I’ve found that small encouragements and experiments work better than forcing things and pushing myself with harshness. Every time I encounter this season, I’m reminded (eventually!) to be patient. To hope for the best. To be calm and carry on.

In the meantime, during periods of rest, I can rest (go figure!!). I can read, I can focus on other interests, I can slowly clean up my cluttered spaces and get a few things organized, or I can seek out the help of accountability groups and partners. I have options. Then I can build, or rebuild, from there.

Happy writing everyone!

I finished…

Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom. I finally got around to listening to this on audio for the first time. Enjoyed it. Morrie was a character!

Summer Sisters by Judy Blume. This was a pleasure read, a novel about 2 friends, from 12-year-old girls until womanhood, and the fallout that often happens as people grow up and grow apart.

James by Percival Everett. Wow. Listened to this on audio and still want to read a library copy but have been on indefinite hold for an e-book copy. May need to purchase even though I don’t need any more books!! A retelling of the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn from Jim’s point of view.

Currently reading: How Books Can Save Democracy by Michael Fischer; The Yellow House by Sarah M. Broom; Writing Poems by Robert Wallace and Michelle Boisseau; Save Yourself (poems) by Patricia Fowler Keoughan; Proprioception (poems) by C. Prudence Arceneaux; Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Marie Rilke; Embracing Difference in a Culture of Kindness by Carla Newman Osgood; Collected Poems by Sonia Sanchez.

Trying to get back to posting more regularly about the writing and reading life. Looking for my mojo…

Happy reading, everyone!

I finished…

Three poetry books: The Natural Order of Things by Donika Kelly; Everything in Life is Resurrection by Cyrus Cassells; and The Selected Poems of Donald Hall. All of these books encouraged me to keep writing and keep learning.

Damballah by John Edgar Wideman. Collection of inter-related short stories. I’m moved by his writing, it stirs some deep connection within me to his setting and characters, almost like a memory.

Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. I’m not coupled up currently, but after a conversation with a good friend who is currently dating — which is hard enough at our mature age — AND is also using the same failed strategies she used in her 30s, like avoidance rather than being honest about not ‘clicking’, I wanted to review my own past relationships and where I’d gone wrong. I own the original but listened to the audiobook which was the 20th anniversary updated edition. I read the original MANY years ago, but it did not stick and back then I could not bring myself to do the exercises, let alone convince my husband. But on this read, I learned a lot about myself, how things went awry, and also about how we’re strongly attracted to mates who repeat our childhood injuries/wounds and there’s a reason for that: to heal. I have no idea if I’d do any better in a relationship now, but I can have hope of trying something different.

Currently reading: Summer Sisters by Judy Blume; James by Percival Everett; Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom; Writing Poems by Robert Wallace and Michelle Boisseau; Save Yourself (poems) by Patricia Fowler Keoughan; Proprioception (poems) by C. Prudence Arceneaux; Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Marie Rilke; Embracing Difference in a Culture of Kindness by Carla Newman Osgood; Collected Poems by Sonia Sanchez.

Happy reading, everyone!

I finished…

The Story of My Anger by Jasminne Mendez. YA book that was a fun readd easy read. I loved the format, mostly a novel in verse. It’s about a black girl in high school drama club who was not selected for the lead in a play because the lead is traditionally held by white students. She and her group of friends find a creative way to protest and accept themselves as they are.

Gift From The Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. I’ve owned this book for YEARS yet just recently listened to it on audio. I found it moving and thoughtful around what it means to journey through life as a woman. I think it’s a book I’ll read again.

Seven Days in June by Tia Williams. A complicated romance (aren’t they all???) with a lot of trauma but well done. I thoroughly enjoyed it — I’m a big rom-com fan, and I love a relationship drama. This story included a lot of vulnerabilities that I’d likely be uncomfortable with in real life but balanced it with honesty and humor (in the friends and the daughter Audre) that made it work for me.

Bookmarked for Murder by V. M Burns. Trying to find different cozy mysteries to read (other than my current favorite The №1 Ladies Detective Agency) because I enjoy the genre and they’re quick reads for me. This one was cute, but I’m still searching…

Note to self: The plan for reading books I OWN is still on the agenda, however, I already blew it by (1) checking out three books at the library last month (including two above — Seven Days In June and Bookmarked for Murder) and (2) making a semi-commitment to a book group which will require reading books I don’t currently own. Somebody STOP me!

Currently reading (still!): The Natural Order of Things (poems) by Donika Kelly; Writing Poems by Robert Wallace and Michelle Boisseau; Everything in Life is Resurrection (poems) by Cyrus Cassells; Save Yourself (poems) by Patricia Fowler Keoughan; Proprioception (poems) by C. Prudence Arceneaux; The Selected Poems of Donald Hall; Damballah by John Edgar Wideman; Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Marie Rilke; Embracing Difference in a Culture of Kindness by Carla Newman Osgood; Collected Poems by Sonia Sanchez.

Happy reading, everyone!

“First, you’re an unknown, then you write one book and you move up to obscurity.” — Martin Myers

I copied that quote down when I was in my twenties, because it made me laugh. I kept it all this time because it still makes me laugh.

It’s humbling. And this is exactly where I am. In one-book obscurity, an invisible poet. At my age I’m okay with it. Had I been 30 years younger when my first collection was published, I probably would have been disappointed by the lack of fanfare, and way more disturbed that my own family members didn’t read me.

But I get it now. I’m currently working on a second collection of poetry. What’s that…level 2 obscurity?

While writing is hard work for the writer — NECESSARY work for the writer — reading a book of any kind is one more thing to DO for anyone who’s a reader of any type. Trying to read every poet in the world will take two or three lifetimes, let alone all the other books and topics available. And who reads poetry except for other poets at heart?

I’ve accepted what this means for me: that this is not the line of work for fame and fortune, but that I still must write.

Besides, I have mixed feelings about being widely known, about dealing with audience — on one hand, I know it comes with the territory, and I want to share my work with those that enjoy it, so I do minimal things like open mic and readings. But on the other hand, I have an abnormal aversion to being noticed or being the center of attention.

I’m not a natural performer — too self-conscious, too awkward, too nervous. I tried the spoken word venue but made myself sick trying to force it and it felt oppressive for me. It’s a skill and an art that doesn’t come easy to me. I’d rather watch and enjoy other spoken word artists than participate in it.

Speaking before groups of people is not my favorite thing. I have the urgency to write and create. I do not have the urgency to self-promote, perform, or sell.

With this book I did the opposite of what many of my poet friends did with their books. They were always SELLING. Me? Not so much. I had the advantage of winning a contest prize with my first book of poetry — a few hundred dollars — so that was profit enough. I got paid. Amazon got paid.

From my purchased inventory, I gave more of these books away than I sold. Because I could. I considered myself in the business of sharing the work. I was surprised at how much push-back I received trying to give it away without strings attached, but I did manage to disperse a few. People were offended at me ‘giving my creative hard work away.’

While things may be different with any future books, I didn’t think my give- aways were crazy or noble. I wanted to share it freely because I enjoy the poetry community.

I also want to be a good literary citizen to the extent of my energy and ability. I want to write because I enjoy the creativity of it. I want to engage and participate, locally, to encourage other writers and BE encouraged by other writers. I want to experience the creativity of others. I want to be around people who are brave enough to write in their unique voice because that helps me be brave enough to do the same.

My writing practice has become a spiritual practice, a way to know myself, my God, my soul, more deeply. I’m grateful — and fortunate — to have won a monetary prize with my first book and to have a source of income from the many (millions of?) years of working my day job, so that writing can enrich me in different ways. And in almost complete obscurity!

Happy writing, everyone!

What I Read — Jan 2026

February already???

I finished…

Poet’s Choice by Edward Hirsch. This was an anthology of some of the author’s favorite poets with a short essay about each poet and their style or impact on him. It took me some time to read through it carefully, but I enjoyed it and learned a lot about how important it is to read widely. You never know what gems you’re going to find.

Care of the Soul by Thomas Moore. This one was deep! I enjoyed it though, even without understanding some aspects. I did a partner read with a friend, and we discussed parts of it. What I came away with was to take care of your inner essence, your inner being, (difficult to define ‘soul’) but also accept anything you interpret as ‘negative’ as a teacher for stretching the soul. I also loved how he stressed taking care of our bodies and physical surroundings and homes with intention and attention as an important part in soul-caring. He also talked about the importance of spending time in nature.

100 Poems That Matter compiled by The Academy of American Poets. Enjoyable read. I’m trying to read all sorts of poets in order to learn about my own poetry and myself.

Sink Reflections by Marla Cilley. This is a book about house cleaning. I’m pretty sure I read this book about 20 years ago, because I read LOTs of books about house cleaning and organizing. I’ve TRIED lots of systems, including this one (she’s known as the “Flylady”, her system the Flylady System), because I’m always trying to get my house together. My house cleaning ‘system’ (if you can call it that) is all over the place and a modified combination of every house cleaning system I’ve learned about. But listening to this on audio was fun and energizing. Lots of tips and ideas. Main reminder is to practice baby steps — small efforts consistently — and use a timer for 5 minutes, 15 minutes, etc.

Currently reading: The Natural Order of Things (poems) by Donika Kelly; Writing Poems by Robert Wallace and Michelle Boisseau; Everything in Life is Resurrection (poems) by Cyrus Cassells; Save Yourself (poems) by Patricia Fowler Keoughan; Proprioception (poems) by C. Prudence Arceneaux; The Selected Poems of Donald Hall; Damballah by John Edgar Wideman; Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Marie Rilke; Embracing Difference in a Culture of Kindness by Carla Newman Osgood; The Story of My Anger by Jasminne Mendez; Gift From the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh.

Happy reading, everyone!

Happy New Year 2026!

New year, new ideas.

In spite of the news and state of current events, I love this time of year and using my ‘new year’ energy to reset my life in some way — which helps me mentally, spiritually and physically.

I’ve had a rebirth of creativity. I’ve missed doing some of the things I used to do in my artsy-fartsy arts and crafts attempts. I call myself a writer AND a crafter, but I haven’t crafted consistently in a couple of years. My writing practice has been a major focus — trying to maintain a workable system. But crafting has fallen by the wayside.

I enjoy adult coloring and doodling, but mostly I’m a trash-to-treasure type of crafter. I like glue books, collage, making junk journals, etc. I’ve never met a cardboard box or a magazine I didn’t want to save and re-use.

A major reason for the break wasn’t just the focus on writing, but the state of the room I work in. It’s a HOT MESS. I both write and craft in this spare room slash office slash work room, which has desk spaces along two walls, a bookshelf, two file cabinets and some wall shelves above the desks.

The writing space is on the short wall — a table as my desk with computer, printer, desktop files, etc. The crafting space is everywhere else. And it’s a lot of mayhem and foolishness. Unfinished projects on every surface, supplies and materials that have no place to go…

I’ve spent the month of January working on the room. I removed trash, shredded papers. decluttered, donated items, reorganized both writing files and craft supplies, labeled everything. I was able to use and re-purpose containers (mostly boxes of all sorts), file folders and notebooks I already have.

The intention was always to use the room to write and craft but NOW with the improved ability to retrieve items and put them away EASILY. Finding things was always a problem, but putting things away was a much bigger issue that easily swelled into piles and piles of overwhelming chaos.

The room is more workable — not cute, but functional. It could still use some additional work, but guess what? I’m crafting again! And having fun, which is the goal. While I continue with my writing practice, I’ll figure out ways to incorporate a regular crafting practice as well, hopefully while keeping a little order in the space.

Yay me!!

Happy New Year, everyone!

What I Read — Dec 2025

Welp.

I didn’t finish anything during the month of December. I read plenty and am pages into an unreasonable number of books — more than usual and mostly poetry. But I was scattered, unfocused, and all over the place.

I read 48 books for the year 2025. My goal was 50, so I was 2 shy…

I still have 10 books (books I own) on my 2025 TBR/To-be-read shelf, so I’ll carry them over to read (hopefully) in 2026. I had a total of 21 books in the physical stack, so I did read 11. I had 5 in the Kindle list to read — classics like Jane Eyre — and did not get to any of the Kindle books.

It was a good plan for 2025, but I was so random in my reading choices and mood, that the TBR was more of a backdrop than a priority. I ended up checking out a lot of books from the library. (And purchasing more books.) The goal, however, was — and is — to read the many books I already own. And maybe stop adding to my collection? Ha! Like that’s going to happen. 😊 So, we’ll try again for 2026 with this 10-book TBR stack to start and go from there.

Currently reading: Poet’s Choice by Edward Hirsch; The Natural Order of Things (poems) by Donika Kelly; Writing Poems by Robert Wallace and Michelle Boisseau; Everything in Life is Resurrection (poems) by Cyrus Cassells; Save Yourself (poems) by Patricia Fowler Keoughan; Proprioception (poems) by C. Prudence Arceneaux; The Selected Poems of Donald Hall; Damballah by John Edgar Wideman; Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Marie Rilke; Embracing Difference in a Culture of Kindness by Carla Newman Osgood; Care of the Soul by Thomas Moore; The Story of My Anger by Jasminne Mendez; 100 Poems that Matter compiled by The Academy of American Poets; Sink Reflections by Marla Cilley.

Happy reading in 2026, everyone!

Happy New Year 2026!

This time of year, I like to review my previous year in order to prepare for and reset intentions for the new year. I find a reset so energizing!! Tracking my submissions is a large part of my writing journey.

I didn’t do a lot of submitting during the last quarter of 2025 but for the record, these are the stats for January through December 2025 —

I submitted items to 36 magazines/journals, 31 contests, 1 open call for a full-length poetry collection, and 2 non-contest anthologies. Total 70. So, my intention to submit to at least 60 places for the year was met. Yay!

Of the 36 magazines and journals, I received 4 acceptances (of part of the submission package sent, the remainder not accepted), 27 full rejections (whole package) and I’m awaiting 5 responses.

I received a non-acceptance notice for the poetry collection, which I’m currently revising/reworking to submit to another publisher or contest.

Of the 31 contests —received 1 first place ($100 plus publication in winner’s anthology), 1 second place, 1 third place, 5 honorable mentions, 23 ‘no winner’ responses.

Of the 2 anthologies, I received 1 acceptance/publication and 1 rejection.

All my outstanding 2024 submissions are accounted for except for one, which I’ll count as a non-response rejection, because I’m not interested in following up to see what happened.

Learned a lot this year about both writing and my own submission practice. Rejection is still difficult and still not helpful, but it didn’t kill me. What did help: having a monthly and weekly intention, researching markets at the beginning of every month, having written pieces in my inventory while continuing to write new items, and having a weekly accountability partner and a monthly workshop group.

Of course, there’s still more to learn. Maybe I can try for 80 places in 2026?

Happy writing, everyone!

As a writer and collector of notes, my brain works best surrounded by paper. Paper stacks. Paper pads. Papers to file. Files in file cabinets. Index card files. Notebooks with plans. Notebooks with notes. Mail reminders, receipts, recipes and more. Paper often serves as my brain’s ‘assistant’.

Paper management, however, is DIFFICULT!!

More comes in than goes out. I have baskets and file cabinets to corral much of it, but most of the time I can’t keep up with what needs to be trashed, shredded, filed, noted, or otherwise dealt with.

This is my main complaint. A complaint I make every other month or so in spite of my appreciation for all things paper. A complaint that has me writing about it.

Through my grumbling, I have a fleeting thought of doing something different, purging, implementing more paperless options maybe? ….

My experience says that even though that sounds great, I usually end up back to this same place — my space filled with stacks of paper. Hope — which might be a nope — springs eternal.

At my former government job, during management’s push for us to be paperless, I failed at following the lead. Having to access all my needed information electronically frustrated and overwhelmed me and slowed my everyday tasks. Ultimately, to work more efficiently until the ‘push’ lightened up, I hid files under my desk and notes in my car.

Of course, I utilize paperless options at home if it makes things more convenient for me or if there’s little choice. But for the most part, I feel lost and off kilter with online file management, electronic forms of information, and the number of passwords required for everything.

I see my attachment to paper as a form of self-care and clarity. But it might also be a trauma response. From my fear of not having needed information available for easy access. Or maybe even based on generational trauma, as my ancestors had NO access.

I say this because my parents’ home is filled with paper as well — drawers, boxes, and tote bags of old bank statements, church business paperwork, medical paperwork, etc. And my brother — his home office corrals his paper, but it’s a LOT of paper, pinned to his wall-sized bulletin boards or stacked on every horizontal surface. We, collectively, over-do it with paper stacking in the same way those who survived the depression era saved every usable item they could save.

My father says, “I’d rather save it all, just in case.”

My mother says, “We might need that.”

My brother says, “You never know and it’s too hard to make decisions about what’s needed so why bother.”

I say, “I’m going to refer to this sooner or later and at least I kinda know where everything is….”

We all have it bad. Not quite paper hoarders, but…???

When I feel overwhelmed and crowded out of my space, like I do now, what do I do about it?

I can only say I’ll do the best I can. And keep trying. My paper collection, like my life and my energy, is in constant flux. My so-called strategy is to just start somewhere. Baby steps. One room at a time, one surface at a time, and, if I dare, one page at a time.

It is what it is. We are complicated humans. I can feel both happy about my collection and sad about it. I can appreciate paper until I don’t, then start the cycle all over again.

Here I go again, trying to get organized. Happy writing (and decluttering), everyone!