We started chatting again, asking about each other’s lives. His words carried sweetness, almost as if he was trying to remind me of the feelings we once shared. But I kept blocking those emotions, telling myself over and over: we are just best friends. I didn’t want to believe there was still something between us.

I confided in another friend, who advised me to cut ties completely. “It’s better if you unfriend him,” she said. And so I did. Not only him, but even his siblings, I unfriended them all. Life got busy, and slowly, I forgot about the feelings I once carried.

But curiosity got the better of me. I stalked his profile one day, and there it was; he already had a girlfriend. Strangely, I didn’t feel hurt. I didn’t cry. I didn’t even know what emotion to name. When confronted by another friend in our circle, I simply smiled and said I was happy for him. At last, he found someone who could love him the way he truly deserved.

Yet deep inside, I was confused. When we met on campus, I avoided him, and I treated him like a stranger. That’s what we had become, strangers with memories. People often say, "Strangers with happy memories." But for me, ours were strangers with painful memories.

I chose to keep my feelings hidden. I will never confess to him, because what would be the point? He already has someone else, and whatever feelings he once had for me are gone. So I remain silent, carrying my emotions alone.

This is my story.
This is me, Blue, the girl who keeps her feelings to herself.

I didn’t confront him about what I had been asking for a sign for until after we had done our OJT. Everything changed; he confessed his feelings to me through chat, and I didn’t believe everything he said. That was May 19, 2023; we continued talking. On June 8, 2023, at the university where we took an entrance exam, the results were released, and the passers’ names were listed, but our names were not included. July 17, 2023: That was our graduation day. We had pictures together, and we talked about where we were going to college. He was going to a Samal college, and I would stay here where I studied, but things changed; we both entered the same university and the same college but with different majors. We continued talking until October 2023; that was the last time he said his feelings had faded, and that was the time I crushed back on him. Funny, right? Because when his feelings were gone, that was the time I crushed back on him. That was our agreement before that I would only crush back on him if his feelings would fade.

After that, we didn’t chat. At that time, I felt that I was missing his presence and our talks. And I believed that I had fallen for him, but it was already late.

When college came, everything changed. We both got accepted into the same university, and at first, I thought it was fate giving me another chance to hold on to what we had. But things weren’t the same anymore. The teasing stopped, the laughter faded, and the bond we once shared slowly dissolved into silence.

I kept my feelings hidden, locked away in the corners of my heart, afraid that confessing would ruin whatever little connection we still had. He made new friends and built new circles, and I watched from afar, smiling when he smiled, hurting when he didn’t notice me anymore.

We passed each other in hallways like strangers, no longer the best friends who once dreamed together. I wanted to reach out to remind him of the days when we were inseparable, but the courage never came.

I'm Blue, a girl who prayed for a sign, who loved quietly, and who lost her best friend not to distance but to time. In the end, we weren’t friends, and we weren’t lovers. We were just two people who once meant the world to each other, now walking separate paths as strangers.