I once believed that you were the end of everything I’d been searching for.

Everything I’d ever hoped for.

I once called you the love of my life, and at the time, I truly believed it was true. I believed that the universe was leading me to you, that after all the searching and doubt, I’d finally found someone worthy of calling home.

And maybe, in time, it was all true.

It’s just that I never imagined that something that felt so certain could still end.

Now, you’re no longer the love of my life, but the loss of my life, the greatest loss I’ve ever learned to accept.

I never imagined that the person I once longed to see every day, the person whose voice I always longed to hear, would now be the one whose gaze I avoided the most.

It’s not because I hate you.

It’s not because I harbor anger.

I just can’t bear to look you in the eye for too long.

Because every time I do, all the feelings I once had come flooding back like a wave that never truly goes away.

I remember again what it felt like to be beside you; Even the simplest things feel special as long as they’re with you. And what hurts most is realizing that those feelings still linger. Even after everything that’s happened, even after the separation we both chose.

I know, deep down, neither of us truly wanted this to end.

However, there’s one thing that still lingers in my head. When I asked for us to end, I secretly hoped you would stop me. I hoped you would come, calm me down, embrace all my doubts, and then convince me to change my mind. I hoped you would choose to stay. But apparently, you didn’t.

I still often wonder: do you feel the same way?

Does my name still occasionally cross your mind?

Or am I just a passing wind to you, a fleeting presence, then gone without a trace?