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IKIGAI (reason for being) is a way of life, espoused by the Japanese. The word IKI stands for — to live and GAI stands for — worth or value. Together, IKIGAI seeks harmony between an individual’s fulfilment and contribution to society.

IKIGAI is not necessarily connected to money. A wonderful example of IKIGAI is the life of Jadev Payang, The Forest Man of India, who single-handedly grew a forest, purely for the love of nature.

However, for all practical purposes money is needed. The IKIGAI model adopted by the world includes earning money.

What a wonderful situation it would be to earn money using the IKIGAI model — using your passion to fulfill the world’s needs.

Pragya thought the same, but it was not working for her.

As an Art Therapist, Pragya helped people heal through creative expression. She had everything the IKIGAI diagram promised.

She loved art and had a Bachelor’s in Fine Arts. She loved psychology and had earned a diploma in it.

She was good at her work. She had already offered these services to those close to her and had received positive feedback.

There was a need for her services. Many people resonated with this approach to emotional healing.

And people were willing to pay her. In fact, some had already paid her.

All the circles fit perfectly on paper, so IKIGAI should have flowed.

She toyed with the idea of taking her expertise online. But when it was time to step into the world, she froze.

What was missing?

While the above diagram explains the idea rationally, IKIGAI is not a thought — it’s a feeling, a sense of satisfaction with yourself and your interaction with the world.

And because it is a feeling, it can be blocked by fear, shame, self-doubt, and emotional unsafety.

Pragya grew up in a critical environment. Although she excelled academically to prove herself, facing people from different walks of life in her online course brought her fear of judgment to the surface.

To avoid criticism, she had become a perfectionist, and the fear of making a mistake filled her with anxiety.

Becoming visible to the world filled her with dread.

What Pragya experienced, others may experience differently: fear of failure, fear of success, fear of judgment, or fear of taking space in the world.

I am in a community where many people are in the same state as Pragya. They are finding it difficult to express the very things they love and are good at.

This made me realize that something has to be added to the IKIGAI framework. Perhaps there is a necessary state that must be reached before IKIGAI can truly manifest.

While it is necessary to know what you love and what you’re good at, it is equally important to feel safe enough to express these gifts to the world.

To express these gifts fully, one may need to cultivate self-worth, self-love, and the courage to be visible.

While I am not a healing coach, I can recommend a book that helped me a lot on my journey.

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay uses self-love, forgiveness, and affirmations to foster internal healing. She encourages replacing negative thoughts with uplifting ones.

You can also use Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to clear the blocks and fears within. Trust me, it works. This YouTube video gives you a brief introduction.

Search: “EFT technique for self-doubt” or your specific issue. Click ‘Videos’ to view options. Try several to find one that suits you.

I know there exists a dominant thought of ‘conquering your fears’ and that is important. But that might not work for everyone and in all situations.

So, it is important to work on your inner issues. Once you have handled the inner resistance, you can begin manifesting your IKIGAI.

Pragya had already found her IKIGAI. What she lacked was not purpose, but the emotional safety to express it.

IKIGAI does not fail because we lack passion, skill, meaning, or opportunity.

Perhaps it fails because we do not yet feel safe enough to be seen expressing our passion.

It was almost over: they had poured and thundered.

In the fading twilight, a few clouds had gathered.

They had been away, and their yearning had grown.

They asked the wind, ‘Please, will you ferry us home?’

The wind, their friend, gathered them in an embrace.

The caravan began to move, slowly gathering pace.

Over the mountain they turned, and looked me in the eye.

I waved and whispered, ‘My friends, goodbye…’

The whole sky dazzled as lightning flared.

Memories flashed by of the good times we had.

But now we had to part; I sighed and let go.

Their eyes grew moist, and the last rain began to flow.

Sujata looked out of the window. Her elder sister walked up to her and offered her a cup of steaming hot coffee. Sujata looked up, as her sister patted her head.

‘You haven’t opened the letter…’

‘I will Tai. I will…’

Eighteen years ago, she conceived him, her bundle of joy — hers and Suresh’s bundle of joy. How happy she was!

She switched from a corporate job to a teaching job. She felt the pain of sacrificing her career, but it eased, as motherhood grew upon her. She was happy among the children at her primary school.

She noticed it first when he was four. Food dribbled from the corner of his mouth. When it persisted, they visited the doctor.

That appointment with the paediatrician turned their world upside down. The doctor frowned, sought more tests, and frowned more. He did not try to allay their fears as if that would weaken Sujata and her husband against the struggle that lay ahead.

The Jaslok Hospital specialist confirmed their deepest fears. It was rarest of the rare — only twenty two known cases worldwide. Sujata cried.

But she fought, poured over the latest research, consulted specialists across India, and corresponded across the world — it was the same result.

When he was twelve, he fell into a stupor and never recovered. That was the day Sujata folded and resigned herself to fate.

Fate intervened thirteen days ago. The annoying gurgling sound stopped. Sujata had shed tears, though she did not know where they had come from.

She remembered the feeling that surged after his death. She was hungry — after a long time.

The 12th-day ceremony was over. Ataram Bhatji’s wife had stared at her as she asked for more and more servings.

She fiddled with the letter on her lap. It was an offer from her primary school headmistress asking her to join back.

‘Madam, I am not sure if I will be able to offer love to the little ones. I don’t know if there is any more left…’ She had mouthed her doubts when the headmistress called six days ago.

Oh, you will be Sujata…You will be. I am sure. Take your time… but please do join.’ The headmistress had comforted and cajoled her.

Today, as she blew into the hot coffee, her eyes narrowed. She looked out of the window at the road that led to the school.

She rose and strode to the kitchen. She stood at the door silently. Finally she called out.

‘Tai, I am going to school.’

Tai whirled. Her sister’s eyes welled up as she cupped Sujata’s face.

‘Go Sujata… Go’

I opened the window

Of my hotel room

And peered down into a city

That once had been my small town.

I had promised, I would not return

But found myself walking the road

That we had walked once.

The garden smiled.

‘Back again? Seventeen years!’

I nodded. Yes, seventeen years…

Past the noisy children and the hawkers

And the old ladies squatted on the lawn

I saw the lamp post.

It had faithfully shared with us

Its halo, as we had whispered

Late into the night.

I sat down and sighed.

No. It was not heavy

The sadness and the burden

Had healed with time.

I looked at other couples

Embraced by the twilight

Whispering

What we had once whispered.

I was not looking forward to this visit

But felt glad that I had come

The old ladies had left

And so had the hawkers.

As I walked away

The scent of jasmine caressed me

And memories rose within, reminding me

Of that velvety touch of first love.

The heat is scorching

The grass is wilting

Struck by lightning

The forest is burning

The ice is melting

Water levels are rising

Tiny islands shudder

The sea comes swallowing

Water sources are shrinking

Parched throats are begging

And yet there are floods

Our sins they are cleansing

She was kind and giving

But we kept on bleeding

Mother nature had a heartbreak

And we call it global warming

He: ha ha…. my god… what a joke

She: stop… god…I will choke.

— — — — — — — — — — — — —

She: eat your dinner na… why are you quiet today?

He: my boss…

She: what did he do now?

He: feel sorry for him.

She: what happened baby?

He: his son had multiple sclerosis for the last eight years. Died today.

She: Jesus Christ! You had no idea?

He: no…. kept it all to himself.

— — — — — — — — — — — — -

She: Did you buy the tickets?

He: huh?

She: I knew it. I knew… you forgot.

He: wait wait wait… it was to be tomorrow?

She: of course! KGF 2… 6 pm… you had promised…

He: sorry baby. No no no… don’t go away… please finish your dinner.

— — — — — — — — — — — — -

‘Never ending roller coasters… aren’t they? These emotions? Every day they fly about and sometimes pour on me. But you know what… I am detached. I am strong. I have seen it all. I am the dinner table.’

In the Indian religious tradition, you will often hear of Brahma, Vishnu, and Mahesh (Shiva). Though they are idolized in human form, they represent the three energies that seem to operate in the universe.

Brahma stands for creation; Vishnu stands for the sustenance of the creation and Shiva stands for destruction — of all that is impure and unworthy.

The fact that destruction is given the status of God, underlines the importance of this process. This applies to all spheres of life, be it spiritual or business or our day-to-day mundane life.

But why is this process of destruction difficult?

Pygmalion, the King and sculptor fell in love with the statue that he created. And we do the same. We fall in love with our creations. We find it difficult to let go and this can sink our success.

Eicher Motors operated fifteen businesses. This included the loss-making motorcycle manufacturer Royal Enfield, and the company planned to close it down.

Sink the idea that did not seem to have a future and no one would have faulted them for burying a loss-making story — one out of the fifteen.

That was when Siddharth Lal, the young scion of the business family and an avid biker, proposed the extraordinary. He requested the Board of Directors to exit 13 out of the 15 businesses and what the hell… Royal Enfield was not a business that he wanted to exit!

He wanted Eicher Motors to focus on just two businesses, truck manufacturing and the loss-making story, Royal Enfield.

It worked. Enfield is one of the most respected brands; selling its motorcycles in 50 countries.

Apart from Siddharth’s passion, this was possible because of the focus. The focus was possible due to exits from 13 of the 15 businesses. They had to go. Destruction was critical for creating focus and focus was paramount for new creation. The Shiva principle had to run its course before the Brahma principle could operate.

Stephen King, the legendary author, said, “Kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribbler’s heart, kill your darlings”. While the advice is directed at authors who cannot let go of their favourite ideas, it applies in all spheres of life. Often, we are so focused on creating a new life that we forget to focus on what we should dissolve from our life.

Maybe we can explore… In which area of our life or business, should we apply the Shiva principle today?

For the next 5 mins, you should not get a thought. But in case it comes, be aware of the new thought. Remember, a thought; ‘that a thought will arrive’, is also a thought!!

Try this and then come back to the article.

If you could be in silence for 5 mins, without a thought, you are amazing. You don’t need to read this post! You are the master of Silence. Bye bye…

If not, you may benefit from reading this post.

If you gaze through the ‘Today’s Activities’ section of a newspaper, you will find at least one listing on a meditation program. One did not see these 25 years ago. There has been a huge proliferation of meditation courses. Maybe it is a course correction for our hectic life.

Each of them has a unique approach. The different approaches help different people, as people’s temperaments vary.

But what happens in meditation? I am not an authority on meditation but having practiced different mediations since 1995 and Sahajayoga meditation since 2008; I know a bit and I want to share.

We are ‘aware’ that we have eyes, ears, nose, legs, etc. Why? Of course, because we can see them. We know we have a stomach and lungs and intestine. Though they cannot be seen by the naked eye, we have seen them in diagrams. We know we have a nervous system — now this is getting difficult. Though a doctor can tell us that the nervous system exists, seeing the system is difficult, as the nervous system is buried at deeper levels within us. I am sure 99.9% of humanity would pass through their life, without ever seeing the nervous system.

There is a level beyond this, and that is the energy system, and this, you can only feel.

The great Indian saint Kabir, who wrote mystical poetry, said that the body is nothing but a covering of the soul and that this covering is woven by the energy threads of Ida, Pingala, and Sushumna. At this point, this seems woo woo; primarily because it cannot be experienced through the normal methods of experiencing something.

The energy system is in the picture below.

Why do we need to understand the energy system?

Imagine a volcano. You can see the effect on the surface, but where is the origin of this disturbance? Deep in the core of mother earth!

Similarly, we may experience a host of physical and emotional issues whose source lies at the deepest level within us. If this can be corrected, then a lot of disturbances that we experience in our daily life can be set right.

If we can bring balance at those deepest levels, we will experience greater harmony.

The left energy channel is called the Ida Nadi. This corresponds to our emotions, desires, experiences, memories, etc

It so happened that a junior employee was reprimanded for his poor performance, and the Boss remarked, ‘you will never become a manager.’ Shortly after the incident, the Boss left the organization for better prospects. The junior met the Boss after a gap of 15 years at a business function. After pleasantries, informed the Boss that he had become a manager. The Boss congratulated him and wished him well. But the junior continued, ‘Sir, do you remember? You mentioned 15 years ago that I would never be a manager.

‘Oh, had I?’ and the ex-boss walked away.

For 15 years, the junior was holding onto the memory and getting irritated every time this memory was triggered. There was associated anger and ill will towards the Boss. This is possible because of Ida Nadi as it holds on to emotions and the past.

Now, if you live too much in the past, get too emotional, then you are using this energy channel beyond capacity and it will get tired. Holding on to past hurts. If you sit in silence, the thought that will pour out will be from the past.

The energy channel on our right is the Pingala Nadi. This corresponds to action, planning, and focusing on the future; in short, continuous thinking and action.

Some are forced by their jobs and business to do this and for some, it has become their nature. Some will get attracted to jobs and businesses that require continuous mental activity. They find it difficult to silence the mind. Beyond a point, the body can’t take it anymore and then it says…

Our thoughts oscillate between our emotions & desires (though the Ida) and our plans and actions (through the Pingala). We become happy when our desires are fulfilled and sad when they are not. The train of thoughts moves continuously; one thought rises and falls and another thought rises.

Newton said that ‘a body in motion will remain in motion unless an external force acts it upon.’

I restate the above, ‘a mind in motion will remain in motion unless an internal force silences it.’

Moving from one channel to another, between the past and the future, we ignore the third energy channel within us. This is called the Sushumna Nadi. At the base of the Sushumna Nadi lies the powerful Kundalini energy. This is the internal force that can silence the mind’s chatter. This is an energy within us that is centered and at peace. But we do not use this. However, it exerts a subtle but powerful influence.

Do a simple exercise. Close your eyes, and go back 20 years. If you are 40 today, go back to when you were 20. If you are 60, go back to when you were 40.

Back then, you must have planned to be at some station in your life, after 20 years, i.e., today. Are you at the place you wanted? If you are, great; if not, then what drove the change in your plans?

Most of the planning was done by the ego, but our deepest desires influenced the destination. At 26, my ego wanted me to be the CEO of a company, but my deepest calling was to guide; so, I became a teacher.

Carl Jung said, ‘Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.’

This is what meditation does. As the kundalini rises through the Sushumna, it quietens the mind’s chatter. The train of thoughts halts. You experience silence which gets you into thoughtless awareness.

Our mind which was used to chatter now experiences silence. Fully aware of what is happening around, but silent — neither reacting nor judging. As you practice meditation over some time, your ‘being’ gets used to this silence.

In this ‘silence’, not disturbed by the thoughts from the past and future, you can see yourself better. You become calmer and more creative. Things that you had craved, might drop off. Things that used to disturb you may not do so any longer. The deeper, truer you, wakes up. Everything you do is now in greater harmony with your true self and more meaningful, which leads to a higher quality of life.

As the flutter of the mind reduces, stress reduces and this helps your health.

If any of the above interests you, then you know; why you should meditate. Pick up a good method of meditation and practice it. You will find the benefits over time. If you want to try what I practice, click here. Wish you silence & bliss!