I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the importance of preserving integrity in our lives. Typically, when we talk about what threatens integrity, we talk about greed, dishonesty, lying, and the like. But when something has integrity, it means that its original design and purpose has been preserved and unaffected.

Wrongdoing is not integrity’s lone foe.

Things like fatigue, grief, disappointment, and hopelessness can affect you to the point of losing your integrity. It’s not that you become deceitful or disloyal, but you can certainly become discouraged and demotivated and fall short in fulfilling your purpose.

It starts with the little things; the small disciplines that can yield long-term results are overlooked. Then a persisting low-grade frustration will disturb our inner-peace. That’s when some of the bigger cracks on the foundation begin to show up.

Matthew penned this short story recounting what took place when he was walking with Jesus and his friends one morning:

And seeing a fig tree by the wayside, he went to it and found nothing on it but only leaves. And he said to it, “May no fruit ever come from you again!” And the fig tree withered at once. — Matthew 21:19 ESV

It says in Mark that the tree was “in leaf”. That means, it was the season for figs, yet this tree was not living its purpose. Jesus’s command is worthy of our attention. The lesson is: that which has lost its integrity and purpose is as good as dead.

I love this quote from John Maxwell:

“Integrity commits itself to character over personal gain, to people over things, to service over power, to principle over convenience, to the long view over the immediate.”

We should work hard to make sure the integrity of our mission is preserved.

Times change, methods change, life happens. There are uncontrollable events and circumstances, but it would be wise for you to preserve the integrity of your life’s mission. Jesus stated his life’s mission as follows: “For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.”

You may scour the Scriptures trying to find one moment in which the integrity of Jesus’s mission was corrupted. You won’t find it. Whether you believe in Jesus or not, there is no denying He was effective.

It would be immeasurably sad for you, after having lived your life, to look back and deem you were ineffective in your life’s mission; like that fig tree. May that not be you! Preserve the integrity of your life’s mission.

If you are still reading and you are unsure of your life’s mission, here is a roadmap to it: Don’t start by looking at your heart. First, look at your hands. Your talents and abilities will make room for your life’s mission. After you have mastered your talent enough, pair it with your desire to help others and make the world better.

Life brings a lot of wear and tear; disappointment, unmet expectations, and loss can corrupt our commitment to our life’s mission. Preserving integrity will help you go the distance and make you effective to the end.

Preserving Integrity: A Secret To Longevity was originally published in Letterstotheundead on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

When I was a child, the Bible was a book of epic tales, allegories, and lullabies. Stories like David and Goliath, Samson and Delilah, and Gideon grasped by imagination and connected to me. What boy doesn’t want to defeat lions, bears, and giants? What kid has not felt small and threatened, working in hiding so bullies or thugs wouldn’t take what is theirs? What young person doesn’t want super strength against their enemies?

The Bible was for me, as it has been for many, a book of belief; whenever I felt down, discouraged, and distant from a life of meaning, I could reconnect to the divine through these tales and stories. As I’ve matured, however, I began to notice that the Bible is just as much a book of unbelief. The very first story posits these two realities. There are just as many unbelievers in the Bible as there are believers.

The popular argument by one of the world’s lead atheists, Richard Dawkins, goes something like this: For those who believe in the God of the Bible, you are also an atheist when it comes to other gods. You don’t believe in Zeus, I don’t believe in Zeus. You don’t believe in Krishna, I don’t believe in Krishna. I just dare to go one god further. While my paraphrase may lack his eloquence, it embodies the sentiment of his argument. To take the step to go “one god further” seems bold, courageous, and even clever, but it is far from a solution.

Going “one god further” does not solve half of the problem, because it does not mean you don’t have any gods. It is one thing to chose not to believe in the God of the Bible, or other religious gods. It is another thing to not have a god. An honest and unbiased conversation with any unbeliever will likely reveal multiple gods in that person’s life. When we are not open to the divine, we inadvertently elevate and promote the next thing to god-like status. Whether it is money, sex, food, a substance, politics, an ideology, or the self. It becomes a religious-like devotion and pursuit. Of course such gods are not exclusively present in the lives of unbelievers. On the contrary, the impassionate religious person is likely more susceptible to some of these other religious fervors. It is the unbeliever, however, who is blinded to his own gods as he proudly affirms he is free from religion because he has bravely gone “one god further” in his unbelief.

Extremism is akin to drunkenness. Whether you are drunk in your own religion like the jihadists and the Taliban, or you are drunk in your own political ideology like the American far-left and far-right, extremism exists because human beings are made to be devoted and to worship. You might think you are better and more balanced than those groups, but are you? In every area of your life? Are you not drunk on work, money, sex, lust, or–dare I say the obvious–alcohol? Has your ego not demanded offerings? Has your pride not incurred sacrifices? You may logically take the pseudo-brave stance of “going one god further” and think that rejecting a depiction of a god you have resolved does not exist solves the problem of religion. If you look around you will see that it clearly doesn’t. It doesn’t even solve the first half of the problem.

I have been fully convinced that the Scriptures in the Holy Bible offer a full resolution to question of God’s existence, and the even more fundamental question of our need for God. To explain in the simplest form, the Bible will show you that human beings will attempt to achieve, build, and attain a life through worship and devotion. That’s our method. We may decide intentionally or unintentionally who we will serve, but we will serve something or someone. The reason I have decided to heed to my father’s advice from 1985 and follow Christ as a young man, is because I have been convinced that Christ offers the best and only true solution to our need for a god. It does so while staving off extremism, keeping life moving in healthy rhythms of devotion, sacrifice, and enjoyment. There are many standards we are called to rise to presented in the Scriptures, which we can only achieve by following Christ. Here is one example that is without a doubt compelling and desired by believers and unbelievers alike:

‘Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.’
Romans 12:9–21 NIV

Atheism Doesn’t Solve Half of the Problem was originally published in Letterstotheundead on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

I was listening to a prominent psychologist speak about the problem of men who idealize women during courtship, and the likelihood of them ending up in counseling after a few years of marriage. Idealization is a privilege of the hopeful and positive-minded. It tends to affect those of us who believe people are inherently good, but for some reason beyond their awareness or control, act in very bad ways.

One of the main issues with this kind of idealization is the fact that “good” is self-defined. It’s not that the person is “good”, but that he or she needs to be “good” as I define it. So the husband projects on the wife his own predetermined “good”, and when she betrays that “good”, he impresses upon her the idea that she is acting against her true nature. That makes her feel guilty, inadequate, and not enough. He feels like she doesn’t care, or that she is not applying the effort.

This dynamic can manifest itself in many other contexts: Parents who idealize their children, people who idealize their friends, and, in this case, marketing campaigns who idealize Jesus. I realize that idealizing Jesus may seem impossible to those who believe He is perfect. Because if Jesus is in fact perfect, then idealizing Him means to perceive His perfection, right? Not quite. This kind of thinking assumes that everyone’s idealization aims at actual perfection, or at least something closer to it. This kind of belief makes reality the problem. The husband is not necessarily wrong for idealizing his wife, the actual problem is to find a way to deal with the reality that his wife is not as “good” as he imagines her to be. The parents are not wrong for idealizing their child, after all, parents should push their children toward perfection. The problem is making peace with being disappointed in their child for not rising up to their expectations. By now, you can see where I’m going with this and how problematic idealization can be when we treat it as inherently good. But idealization is not inherently good. In most cases, it is just selfishness with glitter.

We must not confuse idealization with having an ideal. America is built on the premise of a common ideal. Sharing a common ideal of freedom, for example, is a good thing. A marriage is built on the foundation of a common ideal. Academic degrees, careers, storytelling, art, scientific research, and countless other activities are all based on this very real foundation of having a common ideal. The Apostle Paul writes very clearly to his readers and apprentices that what unites us is not our race, gender, nationality, or background. What brings us together is having unity of faith; a common Savior, a common belief, a common baptism, a common Spirit. (Galatians 3:28, and Ephesians 4:4–6). An ideal is a good thing.

The main problem of idealization, however, is that it is egocentric by definition. It’s my perceived good imposed and demanded of you. It’s the stuff of dictators and evil emperors; of thieves and gold diggers, (and let’s not forget two year-olds.) So much has been said about tyranny, but tyranny is never tyrrany to the tyrant. To the tyrant, it is simply his or her idealization. This may feel like a strecth to some. Like idealization is not a destructive force that turns us into tyrants, but a tendency we must learn to manage. I argue both are true.

Let’s take a look at the multi-million dollar ad that ran during Super Bowl LVIII showing people who seemed to embrace actions and lifestyles that go against Jesus’s teaching, having their feet washed. The ad ended with a caption “JESUS DIDN’T TEACH HATE. HE WASHED FEET. He gets us. All of us.” Although a compelling and seemingly loving proposition, it is riddled with idealization. This “perfect” Jesus is projected from a place of privilege, and the message is quite tone-deaf. This is not a Jesus that responds to needs or solves problems. This is not a Jesus that heals the sick, humbles the proud, and feeds the hungry. This is not a Jesus that leads you, this Jesus follows you. He will follow a young woman to a health clinic and wait outside so he can wash her feet after her procedure. He follows the person with questions about their sexuality and gender to a park bench and washes their feet. This Jesus would have walked on water to find his disciples fighting for their lives in the middle of the sea, only to take off their sandals, wash their feet, and tell them how much he loves them before they drowned. This Jesus would have asked a crowd of more than 5,000 people to sit down in groups of 50 so he could wash their feet. He would tell them that he understands their hunger and loves them even though they have nothing to eat. This Jesus would have walked by the pool of Bethesda, sat down by a man who was an invalid for 38 years, and told him “I get you, and I love you.” Then, he would have knelt down, washed his feet, and walked away. This Jesus would have looked at the Rich Young Ruler and, instead of rebuking his greed by asking him to give away all his wealth, would have said “I love you just the way you are. Let me wash your feet.” This feet-washing Jesus would have died of an old age, leaving the world undisrupted and unchanged.

Jesus didn’t wash everyone’s feet, but He did wash every soul who desired change; who was willing to crucify the tyrant within to follow His ways daily. I find the real Jesus to be much more compelling. A Jesus who walks into our problem, and shows us the way out. A Jesus who frees the addict, restores marriages, forgives the sinner, and guides the liar toward truth. A Jesus who leads. I don’t know what motivated the producers of this ad to fabricate an affirming Jesus. Perhaps the message implied is that kindness leads to repentance. Or maybe that you catch more flies with sugar than vinegar. Whatever their motivation, it is my conviction that mankind never wins when we make implicit what Jesus has made explicit. I don’t think the best approach is to fashion a Jesus that will bend to our liking, when we are all tyrants, looking to bend the world toward our whims. Regardless of whether some of us manage to keep our destructive tendencies under control (though not completely, if we are honest,) the tyrant lives in us.

I must say that, personally, I was unbothered by the ad. I don’t think it did any harm, and I don’t think it did any good. It seemed directed at Christians more than non-christians; the sort of thing you would expect to hear from a person who grew up in a Christian bubble and tried to make Jesus “relevant”. Yet, in their attempt to make Jesus relevant, they have made Him powerless. The reality is this: we are not a big enigma. It doesn’t take much to “get us”. The life-changing question is: do we get Him?

A relevant Jesus in a culture that wants only affirmation and adulation is not a life-transforming Jesus. He’s not even a compelling Jesus. A relevant Jesus in 2024 is more interested in normalizing your stains than in cleansing you from sin. He follows you around, and leaves you alone. You get to keep your questions, challenges, lifestyles, opinions, anxieties, sicknesses, and depression. Nothing changes. Your life is a mess, you’re confused, your soul is sick, you have no peace. It’s ok. He gets you. The upside? At least your feet are clean.

“He Gets Us” doesn’t get Him. was originally published in Letterstotheundead on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.