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A Complete Breakdown of Vocal Media’s Contests, by the Numbers
With a splash of snark for added effect
There seems to be an unwritten rule for nouveau online publishing companies — be as opaque as possible with any public communications! And Vocal.Media — as they creatively Called.Themselves — is no exception.
A commenter sparked this rabbit hole for me the other day.
First, they said something along the lines of:
“Your most recent terribly written article induced a medical first — after reading only 3 sentences, I came down with diarrhea of the brain and was promptly hospitalized. Please leave the internet. You lost. I’ll be sending you the bill promptly.”
Haha, hilarious. But it was their other comment that got me thinking, in a less runny manner:
“Vocal.Media contests are a scam. No one knows how they select the winners and they’re probably all related.”
Could this be true, I wondered? Are my words really this powerful? Has no one ever had the runs in the brain before? Would they call those the brains if it were? Is Vocal.Media actually a ponzi scheme?
I set out to find out.
