Abandoning Hope of Ever Making Love with Medium
Yet, every exit is an entry
I know now I will never make any decent money on Medium. Medium and I will never make love. I have abandoned all hope in the same way I’ve come to terms with the unlikely event of my own wedding.
It may never happen. It may never happen because it hasn’t happened yet. I’m settling into my strangeness.
The place of no place, no home. No soulmate.
Trying to make love and money on Medium and trying to get married are two courses I have given up on, and to be fair; I didn’t try hard enough.
I didn’t turn up consistently because I wanted to lay in the sun and read instead, and I didn’t accept dates because I wanted to lay in the dim light of a lamp and read instead.
Too shy or paranoid. Too nervous and lazy.
I didn’t hustle and write to a niche just like I didn’t hang off the bar in a little black dress and heels. I didn’t zone in on my prey. I let them get away without chasing and without even noticing or caring at the time.
And then one dark night I’d wake with fright. Where are my Medium followers and where is my husband?? Both should be here by now! Oh, the horror of being left on the shelf.
