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Why Do You Reach for Your Phone?
By the time I sat down for breakfast, I had seen thirteen ads.
It was only 12 minutes. I didn’t set out to shop. I wasn’t looking for anything that I needed.
I simply wanted to check on my friends.
Or rather, my “friends.” I’m not sure I was thinking about anyone in particular, let alone anyone I’m close to. I certainly didn’t message someone directly to ask how they are feeling.
Come to think of it, I don’t think I was checking on them, so much as checking in on myself.
Perhaps I hoped to see myself through the lens of other people’s praise.
Or, to use a social media buzzword, perhaps I was looking for some “engagement,” which at least implies interest.
It’s possible that I reached to check my Facebook notifications because I wanted to see if anyone had written me, liked my comments, and so on.
The low-level (and frankly embarrassing) questions that capture this desire might be, “Am I popular? Do people like me? Has anyone noticed me recently? Am I funny or smart?”
Of course, if you asked me these questions directly, that would be another thing entirely. Because then, I would have someone watching me. Someone to perform for.
