Day 6–2 November 2019
30 Days of Life — A Feel Think Do Journal Experiment
Quote
3am is the hour of writers, painters, poets, over thinkers, silent seekers and creative people. We know who you are, we can see your light on. Keep on going on.
— ART ALLURE — THE IDEALIST
Quote — THINK
It’s 3 am, I’m wide awake AGAIN. This happens to me most nights. I huff and I puff and I nearly blow my own house down knocking shit off my side table as I reach for my journal. In previous years I have tried to no avail to get back to sleep, then get even more frustrated that I just wasted a few good hours trying. So……. Now I write.
I may write the weird and wonderful visions of my last dream which are always insane, in full colour, talking and downright exhausting, sometimes dreaming for me is harder work than being awake. I try to listen to my unconscious, what message did it want me to hear. I pick through the dream, like I am picking delicately through a fish carcass extracting the tiny little bones I don’t want to choke on.
FEEL
Tired, but familiar. I have not slept a full night in years. Having 5 kids will do that to you. I remember the devastation I felt at 3 am when feeding son number 1 { yes they are all numbered lovingly }. I turned on the TV and watched horrifically as the second plane crashed into tower two on 9/11. For a moment I thought it was a movie, then quickly realised it was the national news. That is a 3 am I will never forget.
Nostalgic. Before children, 3 am was reserved for the closing song at Dominoes, the local night club. Ironically always playing that MatchBox 20 song — It's 3 am I must be lonely. (1)
THINK(1)
I think back to the video I watched yesterday by PMH Atwater. She said, “The only ones awake at 3 am are the lonely and the loved”. I have been studying the link she has researched between Near-Death Experiencers and their common after-effects. When a client comes to me with conditions of suffering such as depression, feelings of not fitting in or wanting to ‘go home’ or abilities they are suppressing because nobody understands them. I always ask if they have had an NDE as a child.
DO (1)
Watch the video again, she explains the chemical in the brain that is released and its peak is at 3 am. The name of it escapes me as I journal but I do recall her talking about 3 am as the time when the connection to the source of which we came from is thinnest. Do more research on this.
FEEL
Annoyed. I could have written a book in all the years I wasted trying to get back to sleep. (2)
THINK (2)
I wonder how many other people in the world wake at 3 am and start to write things down? I’m sure I’m not the only one.
DO(2)
Include things in my journal that I need to get done tomorrow. I can just see it now written amongst all my deep and meaningful thoughts — A loaf of bread, a carton of milk and a stick of butter — Thankyou Sesame Street!
FEEL
Curious yet a tad scared. I know the term ‘ Witching Hour ‘ and as I research more I come across a weird 3 am ‘challenge’ that apparently started in 2017. Kids were waking up at 3 am to take videos of themselves searching for paranormal activity. In my house, as a teenager 3 am was for sneaking in the window not out! (3)
THINK (3)
I go back to my original thought. Is 3 am the most creative time to write and journal? I also wonder if that is the best time to meditate. I have a Joe Dispenza creation meditation stored in my dropbox, so I put my headphones on and multi-task — as you do at 3 am.
DO (3)
More research. I am fascinated by the neuroscience of our brain and the chemicals it releases at different times for different reasons. Is there a chemical reserved for poets, writers, and overthinkers?
FEEL
Joy. I’ve been working on it for a while now. I’ve been trying to make it a value. I know I feel joy when I write, when I capture a dream with a message from my mum from the ‘other side’ — Now I can hear Adele in my head “Hello from the other side “ Also feel happy I won’t forget to buy eggs tomorrow at it is written clearly in the middle of my ramblings. (4)
THINK (4)
Still thinking about my previous thoughts about PMH Atwater and her links. I know I have a client in grief to speak with. NDE experiencers do not fear death nor do they grieve in the same way. I must ask my client if she has ever experienced this as a child. It may help speed her grieving process and help her heal.
DO (4)
Go back to sleep. A few hours have passed now and I start to feel sleepy as I begin to see the dawn arrive.
MY FIRST THOUGHT
Is this just a habit like all my other ones. I know if I wake at 4 am instead I am far more likely to wake at 4 am the next morning. Or is there really a time of day where the creative juices are really flowing chemically and scientifically that just happens to be 3 am?
MY FIRST ANSWER
3 am is useful to me. It gives me time to pee. It gives me time to meditate, write my grocery list, journal and contemplate.
MY INSPIRATION
3 am could cure writer's block! Not that I have any shortage of shit in my head that is busting to get out like a frog in a sock! But if I ever do, I will set my alarm for 3 am. It is the only quiet time in my house anyway, well until the teenagers use the window lol
MY INSPIRATION — FEEL
Satisfied. I wake to the morning and transfer all of my 3 am journal writing to the PC. By 7 am my first task is done and all the family are still asleep. I seem to be the only 3 am Writer in the house at this stage. Give it time….
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