Day 7–3 November 2019
30 Days of Life — A Feel Think Do Journal Experiment
Quote
Anxiety is focus on the future we can’t control, depression is focus on the past we can’t let go.
— Unknown
Quote — THINK
I watched the news last night and they were talking about having a ‘ wellbeing officer ‘ to observe children at preschool to pick up early signs of depression and anxiety. On one hand, I thought it would be a good thing to detect early, on the other I wonder if that would planting a metaphorical seed in little one's heads that there was something wrong with them. We love to label things in society but logic tells me early detection of anything can prevent future distress, so maybe it’s a good thing? I have so many thoughts running through my head about this, I always do the pro’s and con’s and research of facts before I have an opinion on things. I am solidly reminded of my husband always telling me, that if I have an opinion on something, at least have some facts to back it up, that way when people question your view you can answer with the evidence. Providing your evidence is not based on false facts — but that is a whole new journal entry —
How has anxiety and depression become such a large problem for us in today’s society? I want to say the word epidemic because it seems to be ramped and I see so many people are suffering. I know I personally have suffered from both in my lifetime but it seems to be getting more common, especially in our youth of today.
FEEL
Sadness. I see and know so many suffering with anxiety. How do I help them? What can I say or do that will make it go away for them? My empathy for them is strong, sometimes I even think I take on their pain when talking with them. I feel the sickness in my tummy, the heart racing, the sweaty palms the feelings of helplessness. I want to wave a magic wand and take it all away for them and I’m sure they would like that too. (1)
THINK(1)
What is worse for them, the uncontrollable panic attacks or the depression they feel just won’t go away?
DO (1)
Ask more questions. Don’t say “ What’s wrong with you ?” Ask them “What happened to you?” Most people can tell you the trigger or the event that started the whole shit spiral.
FEEL
An urge to do something more. It has been on my mind for ages. I have been asked dozens of times to make my adult workshops into ones for teenagers. The urge to do this seems to be growing as I have more and more connections with those who are suffering. (2)
THINK (2)
Why are the things we are recommending for adult anxiety not resonating with our youth? Some of them tell me, meditation doesn’t work, breathing doesn’t work, talking about it hasn’t helped. Are we trying to help them with methods they do not relate to? They still can’t sleep despite turning off devices, they still can’t turn off the thoughts in their brain, they are exhausted.
DO(2)
As I always do, go back to the books, look at the common links, the gaps in the system, what’s not working and why.
FEEL
Actually a bit helpless myself. What methods work for one may not work for the other. If I put together a workshop I want to help as many as possible. This seems to be consuming a great deal of my thought time at the moment. The compassion I feel for those around me suffering, with what they feel is incurable is tremendous. They see no end in sight and only a few options, medication and adaptation of life to fit around it. Isolation. Which only makes it worse. (3)
THINK (3)
There has to be something more I can do. THINK THINK THINK!
What IS working so far that I am doing? Scratching the strategy works. Taking two 5 cent coins in the pocket to rub together when panic sets in works. Taking a small pot of slime in the pocket for tactile sensation works. Colouring in works. Creative art, works. Music works. VALIDATION works the most. Most people have never had the event validated. They have spoken about it and been told to get over it or had it reframed but not had it validated, it works more than anything else I've seen.
DO (3)
Consider offering validation sessions only. Tell me the event, I will tell you I am so sorry that happened to you, it should never have happened and it was wrong. Validate each event they are holding on to that nobody has ever heard. People want to feel heard and that they matter and what happened to them matters.
FEEL
Curious to know what else people need. What do they need, that they can’t seem to get from medication or meditation? I feel a real sense of determination to work this out. It deeply saddens me when I suggest all the conventional methods and they say I’ve tried that and it doesn’t work.
Going back to my original thought. If depression is focused on the past I must help them let the past go in whatever way works for them. If anxiety is worry about future events they can’t control I must help them build self-trust that they can handle what comes their way. How do you build self-trust? Look for evidence of a time in the past they had it and help them rebuild it. (4)
THINK (4)
What are the causes of suffering? Life today is busy, overwhelming, highly tech stimulated and expensive. There is a great push for material success and consumerism. I start to see a link in the anxious feelings and uncertainty. You only have to turn on the news and watch ten minutes of turmoil in the world to feel scared and uncertain of where we are headed. I am well aware of what evidence we look for we will find. So I find myself looking for the good things not the bad.
I find articles about wonderful people who have donated time, trucks, money and energy to deliver free hay across the countryside to farmers in desperate need. The drought is also on my mind. The depression and anxiety they feel when looking out into a desolate dirt paddock with no water and no feed and no end in sight. I read so many stories of community members helping others in need with food, shelter, and acts of kindness. There are still good people in the world doing amazing things in the service of others, you just need to look.
DO (4)
Talk more about focus. What we focus on expands and we will always get what we are looking for. Making sure we stay focused on the compassionate acts of kindness rather than the destruction will help. Do one random act of kindness today. Find someone who is looking for a helping hand. Seek those who are seeking you.
MY FIRST THOUGHT
There has to be more I can do. I like to tell myself we were all put here for a reason and I know mine is to help people who are suffering. Help them heal and find their own purpose. I cannot sit by and watch people suffer through anxiety and depression alone. It breaks my heart.
MY FIRST ANSWER
Look more closely at an article I recently read by Johan Hari. I know he is out there challenging the old ways with new insights into depression. He believes there are 9 causes, most of them lost connection and loneliness related. For a generation more connected with devices and social media than ever, we seem to be the loneliest we have ever been. Moving away from tribes that once protected and nourished us into an individual time where trust is low and survival is difficult for some.
MY INSPIRATION
Don’t ever stop being curious and don’t ever think ‘ well I am just one person how will I ever make a difference’ with a problem that seems so huge. There are many great stories of pioneers that went against the grain and discovered something new that revolutionised the way we perceive something.
MY INSPIRATION — FEEL
Inspired to keep going. Keep talking to people and keep coming up with solutions that work. I know not everything will land, it never does. Helping people heal from their past and feel comfort and safe within themselves for their future is what I am meant to do.
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