Self-appreciation, Forgiveness & Kindness

Self-appreciation, forgiveness & kindness toward myself does not come easily for me. I envy those who are truly kind to themselves as that, to me, is true power & strength from within.

Do YOU have what it takes to forgive yourself? Do you believe that you are worth being kind to yourself? Do you take time daily to appreciate yourself? At times, I have had forgiveness, kindness, appreciation for myself — but these are not skills that I currently possess in any sort of consistency. I am determined to redevelop & rebuild these skills.

I am almost always grateful for my life thankfully. I don’t go a day without thinking how fortunate I am, yet I don’t feel good about myself anymore. Why? Perhaps because I have allowed others' voices to be louder than my own. Now that I see this, I can work on myself.

I recently joined a professional group of people that although I have not met them in person, I am driven by the mission of these like-minded people to improve my life — professionally & personally.

I take time to exercise almost daily; I get a massage from time to time to work on pain in my neck, back & shoulder from previous injuries. Then, I tell myself that I have been too kind, too much self-care and that I need to appreciate each day and not over-indulge.

I don’t compete with others. I haven’t in years, thankfully. But I was competing with myself for many years. Unfortunately, I gave up on myself again for the last couple of years. I gave up on believing that it was ok for me to make mistakes & then to make improvements. I gave up on believing in ME. I stopped trusting myself because I listened to the noise around me. The dissonance has become so loud that I haven’t been feeling well for so long.

Today, I woke up feeling like I finally have the power within me again to be better than I was yesterday — or at least maintain that mind and build upon the mindset that being kind to yourself. Taking time for myself isn’t overindulging. It’s essential for me for my physical & mental health.

I enjoy getting up early. I enjoy being productive, not just checking tasks off a list, but doing what I want to do daily to build & better my life. I enjoy having my coffee while I work on things for me, my own business that I am building, for my job, etc. I do not enjoy too much relaxing time. And I have to learn not to ‘care’ so much what others think or feel about me who are close to me as I have allowed myself to get so caught up in what those closest to me think or want of me that I don’t do what I want or believe in myself much of the time.

I haven’t been my best version of myself in so long that I don’t even recognize myself. Perhaps that is why I rarely look in a mirror, I absolutely despise pictures of me including selfies and ones that others take of me.

If you find yourself nodding, agreeing with much of what I have written here, are you ready to be better to yourself? Are you ready to be kind, thoughtful, forgiving of yourself? To hear that inner voice?

To be a kind human-being to yourself and not just to others is an amazing skill or trait that I am bound and determines to learn after the last 48 years finally. And I really hope that I can demonstrate that I believe in myself before my kids leave the house as they haven’t seen the best version of me in so long.