A Woman Scorned: 11/9/16
For the past day or so, I have been trying to process why this election result has hit me so hard. Yes, it’s because I believe human rights belong to everyone. Yes, it’s because I believe in kindness and acceptance and respect. Yes, it’s because almost all of my wonderful, beautiful friends are members of the LGBTQ+ community, and I fear for them, and for my minority friends everywhere. Yes, it’s because everything I stand for and believe in is hanging in the balance.
But it’s more than that. For the first time in my life, I truly feel like I don’t matter because of who I am. I feel like a minority, and this is a foreign concept to me. You see, I was raised in a loving, liberal home, in an affluent town in the progressive northeast. I’ve had access to an excellent education, and have always had the blessing of a supportive family. I grew up with parents who made me believe that a little girl could grow up to be anything a little boy could, and that my possibilities were endless. I’ve spent most of my adulthood living alongside like-minded people, in one of the most liberal, diverse, melting-pot cities in the world. Being a woman has never felt like a disadvantage, an “otherness” to me. Until today.
I saw Hillary come on my screen today, and speak so gracefully, so intelligently, so classily, and I cried. I cried for her, because of how it must feel to dedicate your entire life to a cause, to work to be better, smarter, more experienced than everyone else, and still lose out, because lower-class, uneducated white men decide you aren’t “one of them.” I cried for my friends, who now live in a world where they don’t know if their families, their faith, their marriages will be safe. I cried for the children of this nation, because we have failed them, creating for them a world to inherit that will likely be very different from the one they deserve.
And then…. I cried for me. I am a woman who has chosen to define herself through education. I have always prided myself on being strong, independent, and intelligent. I’ve always believed that my gender was irrelevant in my quest for professional success. I’ve been proud to speak out on issues, and I’ve never questioned my right to be heard. I’ve believed, like so, so many other women and girls across the country, that if you work hard, keep grinding, and never give up, it’s possible to succeed, regardless of what is between your legs. Last night, America told me I was wrong to hold that belief. And for that, I cried.
Today I cry. The tears come in waves, and sometimes I’m not even sure why I’m crying. I’m going to let myself sort through it today. Today, I get to be sad.
But, tomorrow? Tomorrow, I will be furious, and unapologetic. I will refuse to have my rights or my equality as an American citizen taken away from me. I will refuse to be ignored, pushed aside, or discounted. I will refuse to apologize for being smart, for being successful, for being strong. I will refuse to tone down my feminist beliefs for fear of making others uncomfortable. I will refuse to quiet my roar.
This election has lit a fire under me, and I am a powder keg of change, about to go off. I am a woman on a warpath. I am a proud Nasty Woman and I will never apologize for the change I’m about to affect, or the revolution I’m about to start. I am just getting going, and you have no idea what kind of power, rage, and energy you have stirred up within me. I am one of millions and I promise you, this is just the beginning.
Kara Elizabeth, 11/09/16
