An honest letter to those who voted for Trump
When I woke up the morning after this election, I had a lot I wanted to say. I knew that if I posted on Facebook, I’d get comments from friends or family that told me to calm down and stop being so dramatic. But I don’t have time to worry about that anymore.
Here’s an adaptation of what I wrote on Facebook.
Hatred, fear, bigotry, and misogyny won. I am having trouble reconciling the fact that some Americans would rather vote for a racist, sexist, ableist, xenophobic, anti-gay person than a well-qualified woman.
Let me be perfectly clear: if you voted for Trump, there is no room for you in my life. I can be pleasant to you because we are human beings, but nothing else. I, personally, and many of my friends have too much at stake in our lives to pretend to be OK with your bigotry.
To paraphrase the amazing writer Ijeoma Oluo: I am now free from the pressure I felt to make you comfortable. If I ever bit my tongue when you said something bigoted because I wanted you not to feel uncomfortable, that’s over now. If I ever held back my thoughts because I believed you were a good person and that excused the hateful or ignorant things you said, that’s over now.
Now I hope you’re really uncomfortable. I wanted to love America, which I believed was full of perhaps undereducated and ignorant people, but good people.
America has declared that it does not love me and those I love. It is not a safe space for me or those I love. I am a white woman with privilege that I will continue to check every day. I empathize with my loved ones of color, who are differently-abled, who are LGBTQ, who are Native, who have identities I have not mentioned here.
A man who openly bragged about sexually assaulting women was elected. So let me let you know: to the younger me who was kicked between the legs by boys at school when I was 13, and the younger me who was assaulted by a man at 21 — it feels like you’ve condoned that behavior.
I will stand in shame about those experiences, and others, no more. I will stay silent and demure no more. I encourage you to unfollow or unfriend me right now, because you will not be comfortable going forward. If you don’t like what I’ve said here, then please unfriend me.
This is not up for debate. I do not welcome your arguments or reasoning, or attempts to find common ground. It’s about to get really real, really fast.
The results of the presidential election have laid bare the deep, ugly scar of racism and misogyny in this country that many wanted so badly to ignore. I knew it was there, and have fought against it, and to heal it, for so long. I thought that most — MOST — Americans were better than this. I’m sad that I was wrong. And I’m really glad that now I know who my friends truly are.
I have been surprised by the response I received from people I thought would criticize me for speaking out so directly. They wrote me and thanked me for my post. I’m not yet ready to have hope today. But when I am, I’ll start with them. Because now I know that I’m not alone.
