Running Away: the personal world after Trump

All my life I’ve run away. I ran away from home on a weekly basis as a child. My father was and is abusive. I ran away from his hate. I wanted to live in the wilderness surrounding the farm I grew up on just so I could be free.

Just now I was thinking about Thanksgiving. I don’t know if I can do this. I was thinking about not going. Making some excuse or another. Then I was thinking about Christmas. My entire family voted red this election. I know there will be hateful commentary and I’ll be expected to agree. I thought maybe, instead of sitting quietly, I would just get up and leave. I’d go for a walk to get away from the hate. Go into the woods surrounding my parents’ farm. All these years and my defense mechanism still hasn’t changed.

I can’t do this anymore. I want to love my family, but I can’t tolerate their hate.

I’m so tired of running away and I know I don’t have the energy to fight anymore.

Instead of running away, I will run toward. Toward acceptingness and kindness. Toward generosity, love and open-mindedness. I will run toward the people that need me the most and away from those who seek to grind me down.

I won’t tolerate their oppression any more.