The Ladies of Jeopardy 2016–17 Edition: Dorcas of My Heart
The adroit and cool-haired Jeopardy contestant who was in-the-lead going into Monday night’s final Jeopardy is named Dorcas Alexander. And she fills me with delight. I think I love you, Dorcas. I love you, Alex Trebek, for flawlessly moving your lungs and mouth around her name without intimating there should be any need for special attention. Normally you are a sack of ham sewn into a suit, but you shine when you say her name.
What must you have gone through in the American school yards, Dear Dorcas (henceforth “D.D.”)? I love to watch you on TV, D.D.. You are a killer jeopardy contestant. I also got the final Jeopardy answer wrong because I feel like saying it was ‘a story about two guys waiting around for nothing’ was kind of a set up toward Beckett. We’ll be stupid together, baby. I think it takes a special kind of a lady to (in a Pennsylvania suburb) grow up (̶n̶a̶m̶e̶d̶D̶o̶r̶c̶a̶s̶)̶ to be both a scrabble tournament player and a jeopardy contestant, yet still have such a baller haircut.