Paint it, Colorful
The fifteenth interview of the FemGems in the Arts series features the actress, writer, photographer and painter Gergana Zmiicharova
When Gergana Zmiicharova was a kid, instead of fairy tells, her father (Petar Zmiicharov — a remarkable art critic) read to her out loud the biographies of great painters. There is no doubt that the artistic spark burns in the family. At the age of 35, Gergana is an actress, a photographer, a painter, and a scriptwriter. She is just like the Renaissance artists that her father read to her about, in the sense of not confining herself to one specific cultural field in order to fully express her artistic nature.
In all of her different artistic roles, Gergana reveals her own unique vision and personal voice. She believes that art is a way to communicate the emotions, traumas, feelings, and thoughts that we usually try to hide and suppress on an everyday level. Gergana finds the urge for self-improvement crucial to her artistic work and doesn’t fear reaching new and unknown territories in art. Her energy and self-determination are contagious.
Her education includes Fine Arts in the National School of Fine Arts; Drama Theatre Directing in the National Academy for Theatre and Film Arts “Krastyo Sarafov”; Acting, direction, production design for theatre and audio-visual forms and Photography in the New Bulgarian University.
The roles of Joan (from Joan of Arc, 2016) and Juliet (from Romeo and Juliet, 2013) made her one of the most promising Bulgarian actresses and brought her two nominations for the Ikar Award (given by the Union of Bulgarian Actors). Both of the theatre performances are produced by the “Racho Stoyanov” Drama Theater in Gabrovo, and directed by the talented director Petrinel Gothev, who is also a painter and Gergana’s partner in life.
She wrote the script for Petrinel first feature film “Bulgarian Ship Sinks” which is currently in a postproduction. Last year Gergana presented a play, written by her for “Racho Stoyanov” Drama Theater. The text is based on the classical novel “Under the Yoke”, by prominent Bulgarian writer Ivan Vazov, after whom the Bulgarian National Theatre in Sofia is named. Actually, that is another stage where Gergana plays a lot.
She also has several supporting roles in films and TV series. As a painter and photographer, Gergana has numerous exhibitions, and even a nomination in the national photography competition by National Art Gallery, Sofia (2010).
What’s important for you in Art? How has your professional artistic taste developed over time? Who were the important directors, authors, and ideas for you?
Any form of art is simply a different type of communication. In my opinion this is the main purpose of art. I don`t care what kind of art it is, if it speaks to me.
I mean — I like Realism, Surrealism, Naivist art, Abstract art, or any modern form from Cubism to Pop Art. If there is some thought the author would like to share with me — that‘s fine. There are some examples in every form of art. To be more specific, I love Ilya Repin, Picasso, Frida Kahlo and Norman Rockwell; The Queen, Bessie Smith, Christina Aguilera and Tchaikovsky… Also, there have always been bad examples, pretending to be art just because there are some colors on the canvas or some people on stage. For me, it is a piece of art only if it can talk to me.
What made you pursue a career in the Arts? What was the role of your father Peter Zmiicharov (a huge figure in Bulgarian art studies) in shaping your character and artistic taste?
When I was a little girl, my father use to read aloud to me biographies of painters instead of fairy tails as bedtime stories. I remember he used to ask me: „Who`s Donatello?“ I had learned (at the age of 4) to reply: “Donato di Nicolo di Betto Bardi, better known as Donatello.“
When I was fourteen, my grandfather gave me his old Russian camera and I started to take pictures of absolutely everything.
My granny was an amateur artist. She taught me and my sister how to make tiny figures out of colored dough. For years, that was our favorite game. She also taught us how to paint copies of Renaissance paintings… So, not only my father — the whole family was very artistic and built up my creativity.
You and your husband Petrinel Gotchev (a talented painter and theatre director) are professional partners with shared responsibilities. You are the main actress and the main inspiration for several of his theatre plays. You are also the scriptwriter of his first feature film, and you also have several exhibitions together. How would you describe your artistic collaboration?
Petrinel and I never meant to be an artistic couple or something. It just happened. We have also realized it is better for us to work on our own projects and most of the time we try to do just that. Sometimes it is just not possible. Petrinel hates it when I say it, but he is my best friend. We talk about everything all the time. Sometimes, it just happens that we want to start a project together… And I love working with him. When we work together we argue a lot, he is always very strict with me and it is never easy, but the result is always better than all my expectations.
Do you both encourage each other to make brave professional choices?
I think it is obvious — I became an actress at the age of 27! I started learning to play the piano at the age of 33. He started playing the piano at the age of 50. He is learning to compose music right now and is creating his first musical pieces. I am doing sport gymnastics now. I started 6 months ago. I will try to say it in short: I would never be the person I am now if Petrinel was not there for me all the time! I hope it is the same for him.
You are a painter, a photographer, an actress, a writer, and a mother. You are independent, brave, daring and multitalented. Have you ever had problems with defining your identity or self? How do you deal with hesitations, insecurity and personal fears?
Is there anyone who really believes they are independent, brave, daring and multitalented? If there is — it is not me. I think I am such a mess of a not-good-enough-mom, a second-rate-photographer, a totally-unknown-artist, and not-so-bad-actress, who is trying to write plays…
Ask my husband about how often I am crying on the sofa because „my life if such a failure “… Most of the time I try not to think about who I am. I try to think more about what can I do and how to do it. Then I just do it. Then — on to the next one.
If you see me as an independent, brave and multi-talented woman, that’s wonderful! Thanks for the compliment! Deep inside, I am not any of this, but it isn’t important.
There are a lot of tasks to do every single day. Who really has more that 30 minutes a day for insecurity and personal fears?
How do you manage to organize your time? How do you prioritize the important things in life and work?
Oh, my nightmare! I try to schedule everything in a notebook. If fact I have several notebooks… one for the daily tasks, one for all the long-term projects, one for my ideas in progress… and a lot of sticky notes all over the house. Every morning, I make my „to do“ list for the day. Every evening I am surprised I have not finished even the half of the tasks! “What happened! Where did time fly!?” Every single day!
You work in different artistic fields which demand different mindsets. In which artistic field do you have the most freedom to express yourself?
I work in different artistic fields exactly because I cannot choose the best for me. I need them all. I know it will be better if I focused on just one thing. My mom used to repeat it for years. But even she stopped. Maybe it works for some people to express themselves best in one field. It just doesn’t work for me. I need all my artistic fields to express myself. There are things I want to draw about and things I want to write about; things I can only express on stage and things I can only photograph.
How do you start your creative process? Do you need a very personal urge to fuel you and how do you define that urge?
The idea of the Artist waiting for some Muse to arrive sounds really very romantic. As a professional, I can’t afford to wait for the Inspiration to come and push me. My personal secret is to START. Some days, I really do not want to start, but I know that once you start you cannot stop. What you should learn is not how to be creative, but how to push yourself to start! For me — it is a cup of hot coffee and a minute of silence and concentration on the topic I am going to work on!
That is why some days I drink more than five cups of coffee.
Where do you draw the lines in Art? How honest, brave, daring and ready to uncover one’s personal vulnerabilities and weakness should an artist be?
In art, I don‘t draw the line. I sketch, take pictures, write and I act about absolutely everything. Art is my way to talk with others about the whole palette of emotions, traumas, feelings, and thoughts which I do not talk about in my daily life.
Maybe that is why some people describe my pictures and photographs as „weird “. People often ask me: „What do you mean with that picture?” I answer: „If I wanted to talk about this, I would talk about this, I just want to draw about this.”
As I already said — art is also communication. What is more — sometimes art is a better way to communicate. Because art gives us the opportunity to say everything in a prettier way! Art can make even pain look beautiful!
What’s your specific method in photography and painting?
My specific method is not to use any specific method! All I do is attempt to do, all that I want to do. I love to draw, take pictures, and act in many different styles.
It has not been always that way of course. In the beginning I was trying to „find my style“ by copying some other people. I used to try to decide WHAT exactly I want my art to be like. I think that is actually normal. It‘s part of the way.
One day I realized I am such a mess. I can never be a person with a definite style, with only one profession or someone who lives in a tidy world. It is just not me. I am eleven personalities in one and my art reflects it!
What is curious is that some people say they can always recognize my art. I am not sure I can do it myself… but if someone else can — it is enough, isn’t it?
How do you decide to write a screenplay and a stage play? Tell us more about your work.
In short: about 10 years ago, i wrote a story about a little boy losing his father. It was an assignment for a screenwriting class at the University. It was based on the real life story of my husband. Later my husband was invited by a young producer to direct his first film. They decided to apply for financial aid from the National Film Center with my story. The project was nominated for the fund, but not funded. Later, there were talks a co-producer in Germany, but unfortunately unforseen circumstances forced us to put a hold on the project.
About ten years later, I was already an actress and I went back to that screenplay. I still liked it. I saw some weaknesses and re-wrote some things. We contacted Gala film — one of the biggest Bulgarian producers and we applied for funding once again. We got funded, Petrinel filmed it, and… now we are waiting to see the result.
On the last filming day, Petrinel said “You should write a stage play for me now!” I said: „Forget about it!” A week later I started the research. Six months later, I was writing my first stage play, based (once again) on a real story — the story of how the first Bulgarian novel Under the Yoke was published. The whole project took me about nine months. Petrinel created an amazing performance based on my play.
On the opening night, he and the director of „Racho Stoyanov“ theater came to me with glasses of wine in their hands and Petrinel said: „We need another play for the next season and you are going to write it!“ I said: „No way, guys! Never again!“…
And that‘s what I am working on right now.
What’s the biggest lesson that you’ve learned so far about acting?
Acting is about two simple things: The first one is imagination! The second one is a good technique to give your imagination form.
Young actors very often think that being an actor is about talent. But let us be honest — every little kid has talent for acting.
Every child can be the doctor and the sick patient at the same time and a minute later — the pilot of a plane crashed into the desert and also the camel who saves him! It is deep in our human nature to pretend to be someone else*.
So, all we need is to develop our imagination and to prepare our machine to give shape to our ideas. And when I say “machine“ I mean: your body and your voice. You just need to train them and keep them at their best all the time. Because the ability to control your imagination, your voice and your body is what gives you the freedom to explore every possibility about every character you may run into.
In my opinion a good actor is someone who finds the time to read aloud, sing, do some sports; dance, work on their flexibility, play with kids, read books, listen to different kind of music; watch movies, etc.
It is just that easy! All these pleasant activities are daily part of our profession! Lucky us!
Which of your personal qualities serves you the best and what are the personal weaknesses that you are trying to overcome?
I have one superpower. I never give up. I can spend hours or months, or years in order to do what I want to do. I prefer working hard, feeling stressed, disappointed, tired, whatever, instead of giving up.
Some people say that I am tenacious and maybe they are right. I just can’t accept there is something I can’t do.
What was the most important step during your professional path so far and what was your biggest mistake or delusion?
Wow, I really cannot answer. I don’t want to think about life that way.
I am just trying to do my best in every step of my path — personal and professional and that’s it. Life is not a competition — we are not here to try to do great things all the time and to feel miserable about every mistake… We are here to give something. It could be something small (like a piece of art) or something big like LOVE and SUPPORT! That is how I really want to measure my life — did I give it my all? Next time can I give more?
This portrait is the 15th one of the FemGems in the Arts series, proudly part of FemGems, a labor of love boosting female entrepreneurship.
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