Be both: mother and founder

Anja Whitehead
FemGems
Published in
7 min readNov 10, 2019

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Illustration by Rozalina Burkova

If the idea of combining motherhood and entrepreneurship sounds crazy to you, you would be correct in thinking so. In fact, you would need to be a combination of organized wave-rider, empathetic task-manager and creative officer to take the bold steps to do so, but no one said it’s impossible. This episode of FemGems podcast spotlights women who have taken the steps with grace and a determined mindset.

“Balance suggests a perfect equilibrium. There is no such thing. That is a false expectation…. There are going to be priorities and dimensions of your life, how you integrate them is how you find true happiness.” ~ Denise Morrison, CEO of Campbell Soup

I’m neither a founder or a mother yet, but I am looking forward to the opportunity to be both. Being able to attend the Mother+Founder event and live podcast recording in August to hear firsthand the hilarious stories, personal challenges and differing preferences of three passionate founders running their businesses — and their family lives — on their own terms made me incredibly optimistic about the steady rise of female-owned and parent-run companies of the future.

Mother+Founder live podcast at betahaus Berlin

These three real, honest and reflective women all agreed on one thing for sure: the choice of being able to start and run their businesses is a luxury that they don’t take for granted. There is certainly no one way to found a company and manage your time and it is definitely not for every personality type or family arrangement. But to see the number of women at the event listening attentively, taking notes and asking thoughtful questions drew my attention to the distinct ways women are ensuring their self-actualization through equity both at home and at work.

Madeleine Gummer von Mohl, co-founder of betahaus, the first co-working and event space in Europe that has grown in five locations in major cities across Europe, describes the building of betahaus Berlin as her first ‘child’. The disruptive nature of startup culture prepared her ultimately for the real ‘disruption’ she would face a few years on— having her two children.

Luisa Hoffmann, solo founder of LeBox Berlin, a co-working space in Prenzlauer Berg that was the first to offer private childcare for parents, came up with her business idea out of a personal need for childcare while at work after her first child. After taking a year to find a location and renovate, she had another two children while simultaneously building her company. For the last three years self-employed parents have been able to bring their young children to LeBox and have them minded for a few hours while they worked.

Kristine Zeller, co-founder of Ooshi Period Underwear, decided to transition from her corporate marketing office job and create for herself her own work schedule and environment after having two children. By choosing an e-commerce business model, her co-founding partner as well as their employees, are able to benefit from flexible remote work according to their individual needs and responsibilities.

“It’s not about having a specific set time; both personal and professional lives are 24/7. It’s simply, more about making the right allocation to each one and recognizing that it’s going to be different every single day” ~ Ellen Kullman, CEO of Dupont

Kristine Zeller on stage with FemGems founder @Dora Dora

Here are some worthwhile considerations to determine on your way to becoming an organized wave-rider that were highlighted in their panel discussion:

  • Choosing to raise a family and run a business requires a highly personal and unique reflection of your family setup, its needs and agreed priorities.
  • Be honest about your own parenting style and personality, while also regarding your children’s age or stage they are currently in. Everyday will present new challenges, but they will change and so will you.
  • Be candid about your own strengths, weaknesses, skills and personal motivations both as mother and founder.
  • Establish regular clear and honest communication and negotiation skills with your partner or family support network. You are going to depend on them more than you realize. Compromise, alternate and share fairly as much as required.
  • Calculate a family finance plan by knowing exactly how much you need every month, how far your savings can take you and other forms of regular income.
  • Seriously research the type of business model you will adopt and it’s limitations and benefits. Are you the product? Are there fixed costs every month? Can you attend meetings remotely?
  • Imagine the worst possible case scenario and plan for it in a way that emboldens you to bravely take daily risks with the BIG picture in mind. Stop thinking small when you know you have a safety net in place.
  • Set practical weekly and monthly goals and accept that you are riding this wave despite what happens.

“Be true and transparent with yourself” ~ Madeleine Gummer von Mohl

Dismantling misconceptions one shared experience at a time

Heaps of inventive thinking and problem solving skills are required to earn the title of creative officer:

  • Let’s call a spade a spade and acknowledge that you’re going to have to adapt to some very strange working hours, operate on less than optimal sleep and still somehow find ways to keep your energy levels up. Rest assured though, it’s been done for millennia.
  • In order to deal with the stress of the demands of both work and home, pretty please insist on and enforce at least an hour to yourself each day or, as suggested, schedule fake meetings that give you time to transition between work and home. Invest in yourself, your energy, your sanity — no need to apologize or explain.
  • Mothers are assumed project and event managers for the home and family and as a founder, this skill will be one of your most valuable assets as you plan and further include the schedules and commitments of your business partners, team members, clients and customers.
  • Additionally, there are birthdays, family events, date nights with partners, friends and other essential people in your support network that you rely on, therefore be sure to care for those relationships, so that they can care for you.
  • The necessary degree of flexibility, spontaneity, as well as availability is frankly mind blowing — get used to it.

Understand some challenges are universal, ask any FemGem. Our panelists gave these tangible suggestions:

  • Turn off social media, forget the perfectly curated images of ease, joy and glory and do not compare yourself. You know it’s superficial. Be present in each moment of your unique path.
  • Guilt, it’s always there and it’s a learned habit that needs to be unlearned. Be clear about what your priorities, values and goals are and stand behind them confidently.
  • There will undoubtedly be chaos, mess and disorder. Find peace in it and gratitude for it and the path you have chosen.
  • Accept that you won’t be highly productive and efficient every single day. Set monthly goals of no more than three to make sure that you can keep up with the pace, also ensuring that you don’t take on more than you can do.
  • Communicate, negotiate and share your experiences with your support network.

“Be okay with not being okay” ~ Madeleine Gummer von Mohl

As the number of female entrepreneurs continues to rise, so will the number of empathetic task-managers. Here’s what we can look forward to in a future with more empowered females and mothers:

  • Whether as an employer or employee you are going to work with other parents at some stage. Founders who are parents are more respectful and empathetic toward their team members’ differing responsibilities and needs.
  • With increased transparency misconceptions about parental expectations are being dismantled and miscommunication stemming from ignorance is clearing up. There’s still more to do, but the changes are underway.
  • Work environments are becoming further adaptable and flexible with rules and guidelines for specified teams being discussed to ensure employee happiness and success.
  • Mothers also know that other parents are more efficient and productive with their limited available time.

So now the choice is up to you. Find an employer that understands and respects the perfect chaos of parenthood and negotiate your working hours or become the founder and role model who inspires the future mother and female entrepreneur. Whatever you choose, realizing your personal, family and career goals are all possible.

FemGems 30

Tune in to the live show recording to hear which Mother+Founder experiences resonate with you.

FemGems features rising female entrepreneurs from all over the world. Read more here and get our MuseLetter!

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