Essay on Impotence: A Tale About Revenge
Trigger warning: This content contains themes of suicidal thoughts, compulsion, violence, crime, sex, and rape.
Túlio
17th March 2020. I woke up startled, late as always. The first thing I do when I wake up is grab my phone. The second is to check Twitter. And there it was. “Confirmed: the first case of COVID-19 in Brazil.” What would a person born in Brazil think at this moment? I’ll answer straight away. I thought, “Calm down, Túlio, this won’t spread. We’ll manage to contain it. Where did this patient come from again? Let me check.” As I read the news, I began to trace a line of reasoning parallel to my denial. Soon after, I tried to imagine the route the infected person might have taken since arriving in Brazil and the time it took to be diagnosed. That’s when my inner pandemic of emotional collapses began.
I’m Túlio, I’m 29 years old, I work as an IT technician, I’m single, heterosexual, diabetic, a smoker, a lover of games, comics, and rock ’n’ roll, which means I’m in a high-risk group for covid. I live alone in a 34m² studio flat in downtown São Paulo, precisely in front of the Costa e Silva Elevated Road, the famous “Minhocão.” I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder in my late teens, and I’ve been taking medication since then. I have a little habit of “collecting” some souvenirs such as: miniature cars…
