Of all the stories I’ve read (and written) about these types of toxic men, and we ‘harpies’ who dare to hold them accountable for the damage they inflict, I can’t think of one single paragraph that has so accurately reflected reality than this.
“ Many women recognize these depictions not as caricatures concocted by a bitter harpy but as the frightful inevitability of men too often raised to believe that their birthright would be exclusive ownership of truth and virtue. When they are informed by exasperated women that they hold no monopoly on the former nor do they particularly embody the latter, they declare themselves the victims of women’s hatred.They mistake the discomfort of being confronted with their own violence for the suffering of being on the receiving end of it.”
As a female writer who’s also spent more time writing about these kinds of men than I ever really thought about — while being wrongfully accused of hating them all in equal measure — thank you for making such a glaring statement.
Every man who has ever claimed he was justified in not wanting to take orders from a female superior, every man whose claimed his puritanical religious views should dictate the limits of my sexuality and access to reproductive health care, every man who‘s’ claimed that his cliche versions of kink were the only open sexuality and my own limitations and preferences represented repression and confusing romantic comedies for real life, every man who has claimed that if a woman feels unsafe because of a man’s method of sexual approach it’s on her and she should stop treating every man as a potential sexual predator — while also telling women that if they go to a hotel room with any man for any reason and get raped they should’ve known better, should have to spend one year of their lives reading the works of women like you and stories from all of us.
With lots of really long and never-ending paragraphs like that one, which piss off a surprising number of such ‘toxic avengers’. :)