That toxic masculinity you describe — self-absorbed, insecure, and violent — is why from a young…
Peter Schafer

While I don’t think age is irrelevant, I don’t think it’s as relevant as you’re suggesting. For instance, even if you’d ever treated women poorly as a young man, I doubt someone with your ability to see the author’s story objectively has ever threatened to kill a woman for revealing your infidelity to others.

The reason we see this behavior more in men is — in my opinion — because studies shows severe narcissistic behavioral disorders occur more in men than in women. This may even be why a patriarchal society has been so prevalent in human history and why it’s been so hard to shut down misogyny in our more enlightened society. Clearly this is a neurological reality. Just as some women are neurologically more prone to cry than others, some men are neurologically wired to such extreme insecurities that they use them as a weapon against others, to bolster their own fragile ego.

Do all women cry more? Are no men wired to cry more? Are all men prone to such narcissistic tendencies? Are no women prone to such narcissistic tendencies? Clearly the answer to each is No. But if there’s one thing we’ve learned from changing attitudes on gender, it’s that ignoring the physiological differences is no more helpful than focusing exclusively on them.

Though as I said, I don’t think age is irrelevant. I think lower-grade levels of narcissism — in all genders — burn off as we age and mature. So it’s reasonable to say young men (and likely women) are more prone to narcissistic displays of abuse than older ones. But the kind of men that the author is describing — the truly toxic males — they aren’t just younger men who might grow out of it. They are themselves damaged individuals, wired to be so terrified of being discarded that they seek to make others feel worthless to prop themselves up. And without the proper guidance and professional help, these types of people will visit their damage upon others.

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.