For twenty-somethings who are lost and confused

It is an experience within itself. You end up unraveling certain mysteries of the world and of yourself as well. It is a weird place to be in. You more or less fall in the following categories as far as your relationship status:

  • Have never been in a relationship
  • Just got out of a relationship (good or bad)
  • You have Brown parents who want to get you married ASAP, so you decide to stay single for as long as possible

Society, media and consumerism force us to believe that we are not meant to be alone, and true happiness will be achieved only — and only IF — we find that ‘special someone’ because well that’s how happy endings happen in films, no? Credits roll right after there’s a montage of the happy couple laughing and dancing at the end of pretty much every sappy rom-com ever made. I mean, even the cereal ads show happy families enjoying scrumptious cereals for their breakfast and laughing away.


Pressure builds, and as being in your twenties is an uncertain phase where you’re experimenting with, well, everything, and so you force yourself to sign up for dating sites, apps and just plain ol’ blind dates. You climb aboard the single’s train and just go where it takes you. While you are lost and confused, you think that trying to find someone is going to help you find contentment or happiness and will have that magic fix to all your problems. And yet, you miss the biggest lessons of all:

  • You don’t need a person to be found
  • You don’t need a person (any person) to feel confident of yourself
  • You define your standards, your rules, and do what feels right

But this realization comes much later on. For now, you are too busy deciding who’s best for you and who’s not by some virtual calculator that lines up the best matches for you because obviously don’t think you’re credible enough to decide who’s best for you.

But we forget…

Before drawing on caves, that’s what man/woman had: intuition. That’s what we need to start relying on as well. When you’re told to believe in yourself, it does not necessarily mean just your talent, skills, or potential. It means to really believe in the fact that you can make the right decisions. And if you can’t, you will eventually. We are human beings, meant to make mistakes, meant to be full of flaws.

So give yourself a chance. Give YOU a chance. YOU made it so far, surely you’ll make it even further. Fall, stumble, meet the wrong people, MAKE MISTAKES, that is the only way you will ever truly learn.

You are a survivor. And sure meet new people, get to know them. But don’t rely on another person to make you happy: Rely on yourself.