Remind Art to buy a new modem.
Remember when mum bought you an exercise bike for your birthday?
This pizza is too big to finish. You’ll have to carry the rest home.
You really are lucky to understand The Room.
Does the cat have OCD?
Did you give it to him?
It is fucking bullshit that your boss called you “Little Miss Moffat” just because you wore a headband and didn’t speak at the meeting.
Remember when tans were uncouth because that meant you worked outdoors?
Plus it’s “Muffet”.
Do you need to go back to the doctor?
I don’t think you’ve ever picked up your earbuds in the right hands first time.
Remember when mum gave you a vacuum for Christmas?
Remember when you thought Kokomo was a real place?
That gay nearly burnt you with his smoke because you walk around corners too fast.
What if a doctor can’t help you because it’s just you?
You can’t leave The Rolling Stones right now because you’re with other people.
Are baby showers always a lock-in situation like this?
If the TV reception’s so bad just get Footloose off the DVD shelf.
That water feature really is mesmerising.
Those roses are just teeming with earwigs.
This list really makes you sound like a cunt.
