An Open Letter To Women About ‘Passing Gas’
Dear Fellow Ladies,
I’m writing this letter to talk about a serious issue that’s plagued us since the beginning of time. It’s an issue so questionable I often wonder why we still haven’t fully shut down this false idea of what women supposedly don’t — or shouldn’t — do.
That issue is passing gas. You know — farting. Why is this still an embarrassing thing? Why should we feel ashamed when little accidents happen?
Let me take a step back for a moment. This normal bodily function has been defined as gross for a woman to do, even if it’s by accident. There’s this stigma attached to it, making it “unbecoming” of a lady, so instead, it remains this weird little secret we know we all do — a secret we know we need to share (or else it could get way worse) but sometimes can’t or don’t for fear of how it will be received. Some of us don’t feel comfortable doing it around one another, including close friends or longterm significant others. Not even in public bathrooms (unless they are empty) despite the minimal chance we will ever see any of the people in there again. Instead, there’s a stall check to make sure the coast is clear. Maybe a little lingering or an attempt to regulate the flow of pee to lengthen bathroom time while waiting for that one last person who decided to take an excessive period of time washing their hands and primping to leave before finally letting the sound of sweet relief ring out, loud and boisterous.
When I think of farting, I think back to class sharing time one day in the third grade. All of us students were situated on the classroom floor, listening as the designated classmates for the day describing something they brought in. As someone was talking about a toy or drawing, I let the daintiest of farts slip. Thinking no one heard, I relaxed because the coast was clear, only to have my hopes shattered: one of my male classmates had heard and instantly called me out on it. In a moment of horror and embarrassment, I did a terrible thing… I blamed it on the designated “gross kid” in our class seated nearby. I’ll give my classmate credit, because he was persistent in the fact that I did it, but I held my ground. I let my embarrassment get the best of me and lied because of it. To the classmate I blamed, I’m sorry.
I share this little tidbit because I became aware back then that things just slip out sometimes — swears, boobs (hello beach season!), feminine hygiene products and, of course, farts. Things that are uncontrollable are bound to happen. There’s a reason why they say “if you smelt it, you dealt it,” but why be silent when you can just embrace what all bodies have to do when they need to do it?
Ladies, all I want to say is that it’s okay to fart. It’s okay to let your body recover the way it needs to after eating that delicious bean burrito last night or that half block of cheese (but let’s be real and acknowledge that it was probably the whole block) or that mountain of spicy Indian food that left your stomach happy and gassy. You’ll feel much better when you just let it rip.
Love,
A fellow former member of EFLOA (Embarrassed Farting Ladies of America)
