Change: The Natural Evolution Of Humans
There’s always been a strange feeling that comes over me when someone tells me I’m somehow different. “You’ve changed,” they say, as if that phrase is significant. Well, what of it? How does one even begin to try seeing what they mean? To me, that assessment of someone, such a holistic view of an entire being, is impossible for anyone. As soon as a person utters those words (or some variation of it), it becomes clear that they perhaps never knew me in the first place.
For you, perhaps this person was someone who had known you in a past time. That could trick one into thinking that their opinion has significance, but don’t be fooled. This scenario is one that has made the least amount of sense to me. What does this person expect — for people to never progress? To never change? Human beings are as mutable as the Earth on which they live; the expectation that anyone will stay “the same” is as ridiculous as believing the sun will shine every day.
What did change, then? Well, when a person tells you that you’ve “changed,” it is more telling of them than of you. It is you who does not conform to their concept of you. Their vision of who you are, in their mind, no longer matches the human standing in front of them. Is that your fault? No, not in the slightest. It’s entirely natural for a person to develop and progress; it’s a part of growing older.
Another scenario of this could be a former high school classmate. The two of you meet up, maybe catch up over a cup of coffee. There are some of you who will come across that same phrase: “You’ve changed!” I was under the impression that usually, people change when their environment does. The transition from high school to college is a HUGE change, so of course I’m not going to be the same. I’ve had different life experiences since the last time we met. The most surreal experience of all is running into a former classmate who hasn’t changed a bit. They still live in the same town, have the same job and hang out with the same people. It seems like a re-run of the same episode on television, or perhaps a living version of “Groundhog Day.”
Change, although it can sometimes be frightening, is an entirely good thing. Just think about how things would be if say, the United States’ culture had not experienced any changes since before the Civil Rights Era. Segregation, which is a dehumanizing and humiliating practice, would still be prominent. Secretive but popular meetings of Klu Klux Klan members would still commonly occur, perhaps in the shadowy woods on the outskirts of town. Women as a group would also take a large step backwards, in equality and in our treatment. These extreme examples of how a society can change for the good should lend comfort. Those of you whose lives are changing, or those of you who have been accused of changing, can look at the past for affirmation. Change is not a bad thing most of the time. Usually, it’s the fear of change that gives the word a negative connotation.
Personally, the past two-to-three years have seen a more turbulent period of changes in my life than ever before. Yes, it was frightening, but it was also exhilarating. The stagnant routine that had ruled my days before and the foggy film that covered my mind were peeled away. I looked at myself and my life, and decided to do a complete renovation of sorts. To an outsider, the change could have been seen as sudden. To me, it was like waking up from a long dream (or nightmare, depending on your point of view). I was wearing exactly what I wanted, I was taking initiative with my college career and outlook, and I was evolving as person.
I lost a few people along the way, which was painful in itself; watching those who were close to me repel my evidently new personality was not easy, but it was nothing that wasn’t expected, sadly. Of course, I still care about those friends and I wish them all the best, but I have to live my life for myself sometimes, to put my desires and needs first. As my father once told me, “You don’t live your life for anyone but yourself.” That phrase struck me, and has stayed with me through the hard times, to finally settle on a satisfaction with myself.
