Checking The Hell Out Of My Internalized Misogyny
Lately, my Facebook has been nothing but “before and afters.”
You can pretty much scroll down a bit at any given point, take a gander at my newsfeed, and you’ll see a grainy mirror picture of one of my virtual friends clad in workout gear, smiling big with a kale smoothie or hashtagging about their new online weight-loss support group.
As this has gotten more and more common, I’ve found myself becoming more and more bitter about it. I’ll admit, the posts are usually cheesy, often ripped from the PR section of whatever supplement they’re trying. They’re usually self-congratulatory and use comic sans inspirational messages over the pictures formerly reserved for Picnik (remember Picnik?!).
I consider myself a healthy person, I don’t exactly scarf down fries for every meal and I work out regularly. I’m a huge proponent of health at every size and love myself a good filtered picture of the great outdoors. I want everyone to live healthy lives, so why were these posts driving me up the wall?
It’s no secret that a good 98% of the people posting these cheery messages on my Facebook feed are women. In fact, everywhere you go, these messages of self-improvement are usually aimed at women, because, you know, men are usually pretty proud of themselves anyway. It comes in the form of toxic magazine articles and well-meaning soap commercials.
I had to sit myself down one day and ask, “Why is this getting under my skin? Is it because I’m jealous? Is it because they’re other women and society teaches us to compete and hate each other like tiny hamsters in an all-too translucent cage?”
It was time to perform one of my favorite pastimes: checking the living hell out of my internalized misogyny.
When one of my friends gets engaged and posts about it, I’m happy for them. When they post about moving or getting a promotion or being published or pretty much accomplishing anything of merit, you better believe I heart, like or favorite appropriately. Why should it be any different with accomplishing a physical goal?
Being fed so many messages about perfect bodies and weight-loss and diets and #fitspo has led me to forget that fitness and feeling great about your appearance and health can be an extremely powerful, positive thing. For the most part, these ladies are not rubbing in how much better they look than I do (which is hella self-absorbed for me to think anyway!) — they’re simply showing the world, “Hey, I feel awesome, I am kicking so much ass at life right now and I deserve some virtual recognition.”
There is no reason why someone else’s accomplishment should hinder your own self-improvement. Just because I ate a salad and did not think to put it on Instagram doesn’t mean that I didn’t make a good choice. Just because one of my friends decides to share a beautiful, positive message about herself and her body image does not equate it to bragging or make it a negative thing. They can each live in their own worlds and have nothing to do with each other.
Everyone is on their own path. And while social media can make it seem like we live in one giant fishbowl, we’re all just trying to live our own lives to the fullest. If holding yourself accountable means putting yourself on blast for everyone to see, then I think that is what you should do.
But, please, for the love of God, let me help you edit your photos.
