Cinemeh: A Former Pretentious Film Student Rebuilds Her DVD Collection
In 2005 my family got a subscription to Netflix. I was in the 8th grade and was the only one who actually used it. I would spend all day browsing movie titles and building my queue. Back then our membership allowed us 10 hours of streaming a month. I remember sitting at the family computer in the dining room watching “Breasts: A Documentary” and “Welcome to the Dollhouse”.
I loved film, and I wanted a collection that reflected it. I began collecting movies on VHS from thrift stores and Half Price Books because 1) the only VCR in the house was in my room so I could watch “Big Fat Liar” every night before bed and 2) they were affordable at $0.49-$1.99 each. Over the next few years I’d amassed hundreds of tapes and a good number of DVDs as well. People began to know me as the girl who liked movies, and I liked that.
In college I gravitated to the film classes and completely abandoned my intended major of Communications for Cinema Studies two years in, after having taken six film classes and not a single prerequisite for Communications. I had a blast. I was all, “I can’t believe we get to sit around and talk about movies!” I loved listening to lectures and class discussions, but talking socially to the other pretentious film students terrified me. “What if they find out I thought ‘Requiem for a Dream’ was boring? Or that I haven’t seen ‘Psycho’? I can’t be a real film student!”
I spent all of college trying to keep up with my peers, maintaining the illusion that I knew what I was talking about and that I deserved to be there. My film collection was part of that. During a period where I was moving around a lot, I was forced to consider why I was toting around all these movies — a surprising portion of which I’d never seen or didn’t even like. I realized that the film collection I’d been building since middle school was a way to seek intellectual validation — I wanted people to think I was the type of girl who owned a lot of films. I remember seeing a scene in “The O.C.” where Taylor is in Seth’s room, sees his “House of Flying Daggers” or “Hero” poster, I can’t remember which, and they gushed about how cool it was that they both liked Zhang Yimou films. I wanted a boy to come into my room and see “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” on my shelf and fall in love with me. But it was also a way to hide and provide evidence if anyone ever questioned my love and devotion. “See, I own all these films!”
I didn’t want to be scared to voice my opinions and tastes anymore. I wanted a clean slate. So I got rid of my entire collection, save for a few, and started over. This time, my collection would be about me, not the me who was hyper aware of what “good” films were and what I should like. I realized that I don’t need to own “Shaun of the Dead” to prove that I liked it. My collection will serve me. There will be no vanity titles. This new collection will be a carefully curated labor of love.
So I am sharing my collection thus far here free of fear, shame, irony or guilt.
Bubblegum Cinema
- Sleepover
- A Cinderella Story
- Another Cinderella Story
- A Cinderella Story: Once Upon a Song
- Picture This
- New York Minute
- The Princess Diaries
Chain-Smoking Hipster
- Bottle Rocket
- Rushmore
- The Royal Tenenbaums
- Marie Antoinette
- An Education
Cult Boyfriend
- The Cake Eaters
- Good Bye, Lenin!
- Welcome to Dongmakgol
- In the Land of Women
Spoopy Haunts
- Joshua
- Lo
- The Dead Inside
- The Loved Ones
- My Sucky Teen Romance
Camp Rock
- Almost Famous
- High Fidelity
- Empire Records
- Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist
- Detroit Rock City
- Across the Universe
Clearance Bin Gems
- Assault of the Killer Bimbos
- Home Fries
- Buffy the Vampire Slayer
- Just One of the Guys
- Adventures in Babysitting
Rom Com Feels
- Fever Pitch
- Keeping the Faith
- 500 Days of Summer
