Femsplaining Fear: Can I Get That In Writing?

The irony of the situation isn’t lost on me.

This is the one thing I love to do most in the entire world, and it’s also the thing that can make me break out into a cold sweat without warning. I experience a gamut of emotions — excitement, anxiety, and then there’s just full-on nerves (the kind that make you sick to your stomach, with sweaty palms and thighs and that gross little pool at the small of your back).

A year ago, I never would have imagined that my writing would be the thing that subjected me to this mental version of “The Hunger Games” — but then again, I was keeping most of my words locked up, deep in the bowels of my own hard drive, or limited to 140 characters on Twitter. I wasn’t sending them out into the void, leaving my emotions up for grabs to be overanalyzed and misinterpreted.

There’s definitely a level of fear attached when you’re willing to open yourself up to total strangers, and sometimes you’re not really sure if it was really worth it when the haters start hating. That’s the moment when you start calling on the words of Taylor Swift to bring you peace. Meanwhile, you’re kicking yourself for giving into your human weakness and reading the comments, even though that’s what other people tell you exactly not to do.

But then you realize that you have an incredibly supportive group of people who come alongside you and manage to lift you out of your funk. There are those positive voices that flood in to take the place of the negativity. You’re not alone. You are seen, and you are heard. You matter. The faces of your support team take over the place of the faceless masses, of the people who hide behind aliases and the anonymity of a computer screen.

It’s why places like Femsplain matter, why it and places like it are so important. This is a place that lends a platform for women to let their voice be heard, without fear of stifling their uniqueness and their creativity. And the thing is that there are those who might be afraid — or a little nervous, even. Who are wondering if it would even be worth it to let their voice join in alongside the others.

In the end, though? It’s totally worth it, because you get to develop camaraderie in a community of strong writers and strong women — and what could be better than that? I have friends I’ve never met in person, and yet I feel like those connections are as certain and reliable as any single relationship I’ve made in reality. They lend words of encouragement, they offer advice, they root for me, they back me up, they come to my aid. These are my people, and they’re a pretty awesome crowd to be a member of.

If I had to describe what women supporting women feels like to me, I’d say it’s like sitting down and having coffee with one of your best friends. It’s like talking for so long that you completely lose track of the time — and before you know it, it’s dark outside and you’ve made the switch from coffee to wine without breaking stride. It’s like smiling so hard and so wide that your cheeks hurt from the force of it. It’s like saying goodbye with a big hug at the end of the night, so that you eventually head to your train radiating warmth and fuzzy feelings and all things good.

And if I’m being honest, the warm fuzzies are a big reminder that fear only lives as long as you let it.

So raise your voice, because everyone who matters is going to listen.