Hate-Scrolling My Way Through The Feeds Of Fashion Bloggers
Okay guys.
I have to admit it.
I am jealous of all fashion bloggers.
I mean honestly, who wouldn’t be? They’re usually tall, thin and always dressed to be photographed. Think about the outfit you feel best in and imagine wearing that exact feeling every day. Then imagine this outfit to be a really cool combination of clothes that should not work but does, because everything looks good on you. Okay, NOW ALSO imagine getting compliments from everyone. And then indulge yourself in the thought of never having to repeat an outfit.
On top of all that… this is your ~job~ and you probably didn’t pay for the clothes you’re wearing. WTF is this fantasy land? Is this shit for real?
What kind of life are you leading when your main focus of the day is to provide people with serious FOMO about your choices of lattes and croissants? You know, the kind of breakfast food that doesn’t even need Afterlight to make it look delicious? Who couldn’t help but feel a little bit of envy? Ya gurl is a little bit salty because while they pose, I am deep in the Excel sheets only so I can buy Comme Des Garçons at 50% off. Ain’t that some practical-job-in-fashion type bullshit?
Listen — I’m not being bitter. No, really. I can only respect the hustle of these style bloggers. In order to get even close to this fucked world, I had to study for four years, hold five unpaid internships and work as an assistant stylist while still in school — just to even get on a Vogue Italia set. But you guys, you are in the fast lane. You pass go, you collect $200, and all because of that Instagram in your new Saint Laurent boots. (And yes I am still trying to figure out HOW you got them.)
I mean — I’m lucky if I even get makeup on most mornings. I can’t help but want to have the same feelings you guys do. Freshly hopping out of your Soho or LA apartment in a #sponpost romper. Meanwhile, I’m scrolling through your blog on my long commute on NJ Transit. I’m not worthy. Why do I even bother following you? I will never attain this life.
We know the real Super Bowl for fashion bloggers is one event: Fashion Week. However, this Super Bowl is filled with a ton of “street style” pics. As in, someone sponsors and PAYS for you to go to the shows just to get photographed looking busy on your cellphone (might I also add in a light coat in 20 degree weather). Man, I wish someone could pay me for that. I would make a lot of money every time I’m on lunch break waiting in line for Chipotle. Not to mention that at the shows, bloggers get to sit next to the completely IN fashion crowd. I’m not just talking the muses, but like the REAL people. You know, the editors, who feel that clothes are not just something they wear or take a photo in, but their lives. You get to be among the legends like Corinne Rotfield and Grace Coddington. I mean that’s so impressive for someone who only takes good-looking photos in all Acne Studios. Why even bother with the hard work like creating a beautiful magazine like CR Book? Let’s just take a pic of this full Louis Vuitton look for the fans.
I may have gained some serious knowledge and work ethic from my days interning, but nevermind all that. I don’t need all the knowledge to write think pieces on Kanye’s direct rip-off of Helmut Lang. That’s how you end up in “boring” fashion jobs like myself (and in debt). All I need to do is get a decent camera and I am one step closer to all my fashion dreams.
The fashion industry as we know it is a fashion blogger’s world — and we’re all just hate-scrolling through it.
