How Some People On My Facebook Feed Responded To The Street Harassment Video
By now, you’ve all seen (or should have seen) the latest street harassment video, the one where a woman wearing jeans, a plain t-shirt, and sneakers walks through various NYC neighborhoods for 10 hours. The one where in that period, she is cat-called over 100 times and at one point, stalked down the street for an absolutely terrifying 5 minutes by a complete stranger. The one where she has been threatened with rape for posting it or otherwise called all manner of horrid names.
By now, you’ve all seen that video being shared on Facebook and Twitter and being discussed in various think pieces around the Internet.
By now, you’ve all been appropriately appalled. Or, if you’re not a woman, newly aware of an ongoing issue.
By Tuesday night, the video had launched conversations throughout my Facebook feed and I was pleasantly surprised. I say this because I think of my Facebook feed as the best sample pool of what Generations X and Y are doing and thinking in America today. Having grown up in suburbia, moved to college 1,000 miles away, and traveled a bit, I’ve acquired quite a good number of internet friends in the 10 years I’ve had Facebook. And I scroll through somewhat anthropologically — I like to see what everyone outside of my world is up to.
My world includes writing for a living. My job is to read the news and know the Internet and have opinions. That’s not a normal thing. That’s not what most of my Facebook friends do with their lives. So when something riles up the Twitterati, it doesn’t necessarily have ripples outside the small Manhattan media circle we all find so desperately important.
But not this video. This very brave video made waves. Its effects were far-reaching. And with good reason. Sure, women walking around New York City are easier targets for the street harassment it exposes. But being harassed on the street is not a metropolitan anomaly. It’s pretty universal. And as the women in my Facebook feed speak out about it, it seems considerably more prevalent than perhaps anyone had depicted so clearly before.
Here’s what some brave ladies had to say about the issue. And a few dear men too.
The pragmatists:
“This is why I wear headphones all the time, even when I’m not listening to anything.”
“Yep. Real life. It’s disgusting.”
“OMG. If that isn’t proof I don’t know what is.”
“Because no matter what you wear and what you try to do to avoid it, as a woman you will always be harassed on the street. For all the people who make comments in response implying that maybe women shouldn’t wear certain things if we don’t want people to make comments, this pretty much refutes that argument.”
“Gross. I had some guy follow me down the block on my way home from the gym (with the kids) yesterday. I mean, seriously?? What the hell is wrong with people?”
“Some helpful strategies in ignoring / attempting to deflect street harassment:
- Listening to music
- Staring at the ground or at some point in the distance (in a way that seems like you’re concentrating really hard on a difficult, internal problem)
- (super) bitchy resting face.
- Sprint walking.
- Smiling like a deranged clown.”
“I told him that my self-esteem is not dependent upon the affirmation of strangers and he should stop doing that shit to me and other women.”
“Cringe…”
“Boy, some things never change. I remember when I realized that it was automatic for me to look down a street and decide what side to walk on and where I should maybe cross to avoid this kind of bullshit. You had to strategize just walking down the fucking street. And I HATED the ones that followed you. Or the ones that got angry. Smh”
“I don’t usually use FB as a soapbox, but I want to put it out there how pleased I am that the issue of verbal street harassment has been brought to the public’s attention so much lately. I lived in NYC for 9 years and had experiences like these 1–10 times per day, so conservatively I would estimate that I was verbally sexually harassed over six thousand times. These ranged from winks and whistles, to compliments (some nice some disgusting), to being followed and shouted at. Usually each lone incident didn’t seem so bad, but they add up and affect you. They affected the way I chose to walk down streets, where I walked, what I chose to wear, how I often looked down instead of up, and avoided eye contact as much as possible. This type of harassment happens to all women, in all cities and towns, regardless of what they look like or what they are wearing. I think it is important to remind us women that we have a voice and a choice to speak about the problem, and to educate men who may not even realize that their behavior is harmful.”
The fed-up:
“Every goddamn day of our lives we are subject to this. From the moment we walk about our doors we are reminded that our bodies do not belong to us, that we are objects to be ogled, stared at, and chased after. IT IS NOT FLATTERING. IT IS NOT A COMPLIMENT. LEAVE US ALONE.”
“Ugh!”
“All day every day and I’m fucking mad about it.”
“This video felt soo familiar I started to feel sick. Deep down, I do feel people just want to connect with each other. However too often, like with the all too common ‘SMILE’ I feel women are expected to perform and meet a certain standard of connection from cat callers. As if every time we walk outside it is not enough to exist for ourselves and walk to our destination, but we have to do so and respond in a way that pleases everyone else.”
The dissenting: Unconvinced
“i’m glad everyone is sharing this street harassment video and talking about it, but just to put another perspective out there: i literally never get catcalled. maybe it’s a small boobs thing, maybe i walk super fast, maybe i’m hard of hearing. but i think i just don’t really get harassed. any other ladies with me?”
“Haha I wasn’t surprised at all by this video, which does display some pretty awful displays of humanity, but I disagree with the news outlets saying all 100+ guys were harassing her. I think a “hello” and “god bless you” said in a friendly (not disgusting) tone is just that. Attractive girls get those pleasantries more than other peeps but I don’t think her day was made worse by them. Just my 2 cents!”
“The ‘Is it because I’m too ugly?’ is pretty good though. Good thinking, guy.”
“i know this is going to be an unpopular question BUT, is it at all possible that there’s an economic and sociological reason behind cat calls? and before you throw hate my way, remember i asked a question — i did not proffer any justification. i’m just saying, all the cat callers who holler at me all look pretty goddamn downtrodden…that is, a dude who feels powerless thinks hey, i am going to pick on a woman to displace some of said feelings of powerlessness. again, i am in no way justifying cat calls — and when people cat call me, i yell back at them…so they never, ever cat call anyone again — but it would probably be useful in understanding the root of a problem if we’re going to address it effectively, rather than just say the same self-evident stuff over and over and over again. discuss.”
The men:
“This really blew me away earlier. I really had no idea it was that bad!”
“The sad thing about this is, she is fully clothed. Just imagine if she was wearing anything close to revealing.”
“Needs to be shared. Needs to stop.”
