Why are so many of our embarrassing stories about our periods? Probably because everything in society tells us that this is something dirty that we should hide and only talk to other women about. We should definitely not speak to men about it. It’s so messed up because we know so much more about their bodies than they do about ours — I mean, do we really want to know about wet dreams, or morning hard-ons or the fact that they feel the need to adjust themselves all damn day and in public? NO. But we are inundated with this information. Meanwhile, I’ve had grown-ass men refuse to pick up tampons at the store for me.
Anyway, when I was 28, I had been having some weird periods for several months but this particular month was really bad. I was using a super tampon and a pad and still had to change both every hour. Sometimes sooner. This was going on for days. After the third day, I called my mom and she told me to call my gynecologist. So I did. I explained what was going on and he acted like it was no big deal. He kept interrupting me while I was trying to tell him the complete story and how it was so different from anything else that I had ever experienced. He told me that it was fine and the bleeding would stop soon. After I got off the phone with him I thought that this was normal and that I was making a big deal out of nothing. Spoiler alert: he was a shitty doctor. I was scared and felt like the life was literally draining out of me. No doctor should make you feel like your concerns are crazy.
I just went on as I had before. But now I thought all the additional things I was feeling were all in my head — weak, out-of-breath over nothing, super tired and, of course, the non-stop bleeding. After a couple more days, I was taking a shower while getting ready for work and I almost passed out. I had to sit down in the tub to rinse the shampoo out of my hair. I just sat in the tub for a little while until I could move again. I still remember crawling from my bathroom to my living room. Because this was “no big deal,” I called my mom — an hour away on Long Island — rather than calling my gyno. I got my dad, who was understandably really worried; he told me my mom was at work. Now I was crying, alone and trying to convince my dad I was okay and I’d just call mom at work. I called my mom and she told me that she’d call my dad and send him in and I should call my gyno because she thinks I need to go to the hospital. I begged her not to call my dad. But moms are gonna mom.
I called my gynecologist, who of course wasn’t in the office that early but I pressed the button for an emergency. He called me back and told me to meet him at the hospital at 9. My dad arrived at my apartment and I was still in my towel. I mean, I could barely function at this point. He got me some clothes and helps me get dressed and we headed up to the hospital. I was so mortified that I could hardly stand to look or speak to my dad.
The doctor finally arrived and proceeded to scold me for not calling him sooner. I reminded him that I called several days before, and he acted like it was my fault for not explaining how serious the bleeding was. He did an exam and then told me that I needed a D&C, that he was going to put me under anesthesia and once he was done I may bleed a little more but it would be mostly done. I had a million questions that I didn’t ask because he was such a dismissive jerk. Like…
What is a D&C? It’s short for dilation and curettage. They widen your cervix so they can put a spoon-like thing in there to scrape out your uterus. They do this sometimes after a miscarriage or abortion or even after childbirth. They also do it to treat abnormal bleeding and to diagnose fibroids, polyps, endometriosis or uterine cancer. I didn’t know ANY of this that day. I researched and talked to my mom after the fact.
Are there any side effects? Some cramping and for me there was just a little more bleeding.
Was I going to be okay? Yeah, mostly. I went on the pill after that for about five years but eventually stopped. My periods are still kind of weird and can be heavy, but never for as long as that or as bad as that.
Is this normal? It’s a problem that a lot of women have. I found out later that my mom had similar issues for most of her adult life.
He also totally fucked up the diagnosis. He told me right after the D&C that I had fibroids and it was going to be a problem if I ever tried to get pregnant. He also said that I should consider having kids as soon as possible and then get a complete hysterectomy. NONE of this was true. But I didn’t find that out until a couple of years later.
I never went back to him again.
