I Was “Basic” For A Weekend And It Was Actually Amazing

At this point, it’s safe to say we all know what, or who, the “basic” girl is. Whether she’s a meme or a subculture, the idea of being basic has been exhaustively discussed in recent months. And given that it’s currently fall (peak basic season, because pumpkins), the term is being slung around more than ever, it seems.

Unless you live under a rock, you probably have an idea what being basic entails. You know that girl — the one struggling in painful platforms at that Meatpacking District bar your friends dragged you to, or the one who shows up to every event in leggings and scrunched hair (hi 2008!). And of course, the one who constantly quotes “Mean Girls” and “The Hills.” And while nearly every basic think piece has listed the stereotypical traits to describe this girl, I decided to live like one for a weekend. To help me craft a basic schedule, I crowdsourced a diverse set of activities via social media.

attn twitter: what are your favorite “basic” traits/activities/guilty pleasures?

— Gabriela Barkho (@gabrielabarkho) October 15, 2014

@gabrielabarkho pumpkin flavored everything, including psl. Selfies. Brunch. — Erika W. Smith (@erikawynn) October 15, 2014

@gabrielabarkho @missambear Brunch

— Daniel Victor (@bydanielvictor) October 15, 2014

@gabrielabarkho ugg slippers, z100 in the morning & Starbs pumpkin bread — mir (@ashleyjizzzdale) October 15, 2014

@gabrielabarkho @missambear Book club, instagramming sunsets,

— Scott Rising (@Rising) October 15, 2014

@gabrielabarkho frappuccinos, ray ban wayfarers, being from ohio — Leaf Blowers (@leahblowes) October 15, 2014

First off, I’d like to disclose that this experiment wasn’t done to further trash basic girls. In fact, I decided to embark on this (literally) uncomfortable adventure in defense of everyone’s favorite girl to hate on. This meant full on embracing so-called basic-ness. I was all in. So, as Jersey girl and all-around basic culture observer, I genuinely consider myself an expert on the topic (source: holding back hair of drunk girls in lycra dresses as they vomit in Hoboken).

My basic experiment began on a crisp Saturday morning, perfect for a, you guessed it, pumpkin spice latte. But first, choosing an outfit. This proved to be harder than I thought. I’d never before realized the lack of peplum and body con dresses in my wardrobe, which really got in the way of this whole basic thing. So I did what any good researcher does. I consulted a self-proclaimed basic teen, @ashleyjizzzdale . After multiple outfit changes and ~style~ tips (black is NOT basic, chiffon is) I finally scraped together a day and night look by raiding my sister’s closet. The only thing I was missing was a Michael Kors tote. Shame.

Now that my outfit was in order, I headed out for my all-important breakfast: the much-discussed pumpkin spice latte. For an authentic experience, I made sure it was Starbucks, of course. As someone who doesn’t add any sugar to coffee. This was…fun. Also, a great opportunity for some #selfies. So I grabbed my latte, one for my friend Amber, and headed over to her apartment for some gUrLiE time (tweeting, Instagramming, etc). I’d been told that a constant update of social media was essential for that quintessential basic millennial experience. And boy did I take it to heart (sorry followers!) The weirdest part? Basic me got some amazing online engagement.

I’ll spare you the details of the rest of our latte-ing and skip straight to the important activities. Now hyped on sugar and ready to hit the sidewalk in my leopard Steve Madden flats, it was time to get down to business. And by business, I mean a shopping trip to Anthropologie, naturally. Also, it was during this time that Amber pointed out how glittery my Dior lip gloss looked in the sun. Mission accomplished. Inside the Chelsea Market Anthro, we pointed out all the things we wanted (everything) and I had pics taken of me smelling candles. No one really stared. I think. After roaming the two-story shop, Amber and I decided on our purchases. Matching Violet Honey Soy Candles. #Twinzies.

After buying our reasonably priced (read: clearance) candles, my favorite time of the day arrived.

It’s safe to say that brunch is a universally loved phenomenon across all subcultures. However, the sacred meal is said to especially play a huge role in the social lives of “basics.” This was my chance to filter, hashtag and Instagram my heart out without an ounce of guilt. And what better place to do it than at an adorable West Village spot I can check into on Foursquare? At this point, I was beginning to get comfortable — and actually — enjoy my newfound lifestyle. And the results were beautiful.

I was really getting the hang of this, you guys.

After my perfectly scrambled eggs and latte art, I was ready to wind down from the day’s rigorous activities. If there’s one thing I picked up from “being basic,” it’s that it’s really… hard. Constantly re-applying mascara and fixing my form-fitting skirt may seem shallow, but I found out the hard way that it takes a lot of effort. I’m going to think twice next time before poking fun of a Kardashian’s perfectly manicured Chanel black nails.

Anyway. Now onto the fun stuff. After taking a few hours to chill and discuss the latest Housewives episode and getting through multiple Beyonce and Taylor Swift playlists, it was time for an outfit change for GNO (Girls Night Out, obvi). For our outing, we chose the most bro-tastic Manhattan bar we can think of. After debating between The Standard and Ace Hotel, I decided on a lower end option. The 13th Step. What can I say? I’m a Basic Of The People. Besides, the last time I was there, a lovely gentleman asked me to fill a spot on his beer pong team. It was a no-brainer.

“My Lauren Conrad transformation is complete.”

An Uber ride and a girls dinner later, I was ready to 13 Step it up. All my intense basic training had led me up to this.

I found the least sticky spot at the bar, gulped down a vodka soda (with a splash of cranberry!), took a few selfies and was outta there 15 minutes later. Sorry guys, the packed sardines that were the frat boys in button downs were a bit much to stomach. But at least I looked cute!

We ended up at another nearby somewhat basic bar, and I spent the rest of the night taking shots with my gurlz and chasing them with martinis. Once I’d had the courage to ask a stranger for a selfie “for my article,” I knew it was time to head home. On my way, I stopped at Dunkin’ Donuts for a donut and coffee run to cap off my basic night out. My stomach punished me for it in the morning.

Sunday, 11 a.m.

The sun shines but my body and soul are in darkness. Physically and figuratively. “Sunglasses and Advil/Last night was mad real,” Yeezus foreshadowed.

I had the urge to nap my hangover off, but I really couldn’t afford to lose basic daylight hours. I put on my thermal leggings one leg at a time, got myself a bagel and settled in for a Kardashians marathon. Next was a couple of hours of HGTV renovation shows, followed by Lifetime. Overall, a productive Sunday.

As you’ve probably gathered during the past 1000 words, living the basic life was both challenging and — dare I say — fun, for me. After months of obsessively reading pieces telling me who the basic girl is, and finding myself exuding those traits at times, I decided that the best way to defend the always-shamed “basic bitch” is by stepping into her platform shoes. The most shocking aspect of this whole experiment for me was actually the others’ reaction. Contrary to what I anticipated, I found that most of my friends and family actually embraced my temporary look. I even got compliments on my clothes and “nude lip color,” (which makes me rethink my entire style).

Overall, at the end, being basic — even for just a few hours — wasn’t just for giggles. It helped remind me that putting down women for their taste isn’t just wrong, but actually hypocritical. Because unless you claim to hate every single thing about my weekend, then you yourself are essentially basic. Sure, I may not have the basic girl’s love for over-sweetened fall beverages or UGGs, but I enjoy brunch and reality TV as much as the next millennial.

Moral of the story? There’s a little basic in all of us. So you go on ahead and indulge in that PSL, girl.