My First Time Failing Won’t Be My Last
After countless hours of making left and right turns, changing lanes, parking along the side of a curb and backing up, I was ready. Sure, I was still a nervous wreck, my parking was questionable, and I was suffering from stiff neck syndrome at the wheel, but my parents were yelling at me less, so that had to be a good sign. The night before the exam, I carefully chose my outfit, wiped down my car twice (yeah, I had a car and no license) and tried to get some sleep. I had been practicing non-stop for a month, I knew I was ready. Plus, I was heading back for my senior year of college the next day and I needed to get my driver’s license. And according to one of my friends, “What kind of a grown woman doesn’t have her driver’s license?!?”
The first time I took my driver’s exam, I failed. I failed the minute I got out of that lot and was told to go around a car that had its emergency signal on. I forgot to turn my head and look over my shoulders (stiff neck syndrome). I knew I had made a costly error, but the exam proceeded regardless. By the time I pulled back into the lot I knew I had failed, but I still held a glimmer of hope. Instead of flat-out telling me that I hadn’t passed, the examiner told me to make an appointment and try again. The worst part about failing was having to tell my friends and family the news.
It was the first time I had ever failed at anything. All of that practice wasn’t enough. I had to let go of my fear of driving (and actually turn my head to look at my blind spots). I waited three months until I scheduled my next exam, partly because going to the DMV sucks the living soul out of you, like a Dementor, and a large part of me was scared to fail again. I didn’t want to be known as that girl who bombed her driver’s test twice. Fortunately for me, I passed. Failing the exam on my first try probably made passing the second time around way more rewarding.
The first time I failed at something will surely not be my last, but it was the first time I realized, that maybe I wasn’t as perfect as I thought I was, and that was okay.
