Please Don’t Let Me Know If You Need Anything
I am in deep concentration. There are beads of sweat along my forehead and I don’t recall the last time I blinked. It’s been some time since I’ve moved position and my knees are starting to notice. I sense people walk by me but I do not allow myself to interact with them — my task will only take longer. I am busy folding four different styles of khakis into uniform piles categorized by color and size. More complicated and life-threatening than brain surgery, this is what it is to work in retail.
It’s been about three weeks since my first shift at what I’m positive is the largest producer of khakis in North America (or at least the United States). I’m proud to say I memorized most of the store in my first week, can fold tanks at lightening speed and can even recommend at least four different types of pants to a person depending on their lifestyle.
I’m not saying I’m part-time employee of the month. I’m just saying I’m good at it in the ways that count. Except… I am constantly lying.
“Hi there — let me know if I can help you!”
Without a doubt, you’ve heard a variation of this phrase as you sifted through last season’s sweaters or awkwardly eyed the skinny jeans you think are on sale but never really are.
“No, I’m just looking. Thank you.”
“Well, let me know if you need anything!”
Prior to working at a clothing store, I hated this seemingly calculated conversation. After knowing what it’s like to work at a retailer, I hate this conversation even MORE. Now it’s an anxiety chain of words as I’ve realized very rarely can anything pleasant ever come of a customer saying “yes.”
As much as they refuse to believe, I know what products are on the floor because I came in this morning at 6 a.m. to put them on the floor. Yes, these are the style of shorts your friend tried on — they’re arranged around a pile of scarves. I sized them last night in between yawns. And I’m sorry, but the skirt you’re desperately trying to find has been sold here for the past two months so yes, we only have XS. If it weren’t so exhausting, the process of working with puzzled or agitated customers might almost be fun.
My most intense moments with customer have been when I’ve been requested to open our locked bathrooms, and like Kim K, I’m recognized as someone of importance and suddenly shouted at from all directions to find a size, explain a sale or the very worst — check the stock room for more of whatever item a customer is waving in the air in my general direction.
I may have a smile on my face and, through my lipstick, ask if you need help, but 99.9% of the time, I can assure you I’m lying. Don’t tell me. I’d rather you help ME out because more often than not, I’ve been given a lengthy list of tasks to accomplish.
By helping you out, I’m putting myself behind on cleaning the fitting rooms out, sizing jeans and folding tees (all of which are things a customer should want me to do since it directly benefits their experience).
Anyway, while I’m lying to you, I’m probably thinking about how hungry I am, what’s happening on Twitter or if that one guy texted me back yet… so do you really want me to be the one who helps you?
