Taking Risks For All Of Us
Dear Claire,
My laptop screen is bright and I’m watching these letters appear on the screen, but I don’t feel connected to the hands that flicker across the keyboard. I can feel the blood rushing through my veins, and it doesn’t feel as though the room is spinning, but I am. We’re getting so close to achieving our dreams; we’re already brushing up against them.
And I know you’re scared, and I’m scared too. But I’m glad we’re scared because that fear is borne of passion and devotion and dedication — not just to the production company we’re starting or to ourselves or our careers, but to every girl who has dreamed of becoming a filmmaker and wasn’t give the opportunity to make those dreams a reality; to every woman who has been dismissed or overlooked for a job she deserved; to every woman who is harassed, abused, insulted, condescended or talked down to by male coworkers; to every woman whose story has been told by men, or hasn’t been told at all. This company is not just about us — it’s about developing and growing a network of female-identified filmmakers and creating in the film industry the kind of safe space and community Femsplain has created online. It’s about fulfilling our dreams and the dreams of women everywhere.
When you’re doubting if you deserve to have your own company — look at me and know that I would have never been able to keep working in this industry if I didn’t have you as a boss, a mentor and a friend. You’ve given me a self-confidence I never could summon on my own, and you’ve encouraged and supported me in every aspect of filmmaking and my life these past two years. I want nothing in life more than to inspire in another woman the ferocious, infectious ambition I’ve learned from you. As scared as I am, my fears pale in comparison to my excitement — because I don’t have to be so scared when I have you leading the way. And because I know by creating this company, so many other women will receive the support, opportunities and experiences that they deserve and which are so terribly, tragically rare in this industry.
When you wonder if our company is important, if it’s necessary — look at the headlines and the tweets: “Shocking Revelations about Sexism in Hollywood” that shock no one and reveal nothing new, except how little has changed. Look at the panels “for diversity” that are, time after time, comprised only of white men repeating tired lines that have been repeated for decades. Look at the AFI Top 100 Movies list, which contains not a single film directed by a woman. It’s time women be granted our own voices and presence in this industry, and start telling our own stories. Through SRSLY, we can help make that happen.
When I look back on the day I met you, one fateful morning in March, I am overwhelmed. With gratitude, for you taking me under your wing and keeping me there, even when the flight got rough. With pride, in myself for not giving up despite all of the time I spent doubting myself and thinking I wasn’t good enough. But most of all, with happiness. I’m so happy to have grown with you. I’m so happy for all of our experiences and memories; from running around sets to endless nights in the office living on Kit Kat bars (me) and Camels (you), to sitting on your couch with your old favorite movies, drinking rosé on a rainy day; you’ve taught me so much each day I’ve known you. I can’t wait to help pass that knowledge on to another generation of women in film.
By founding SRSLY, you and I are taking a big, scary step toward our futures and, in doing so, we’re taking steps toward creating the kind of industry we want for those futures, and for every other woman. We dream of offices across the globe, of bringing together filmmakers from and within international communities, and maybe — with enough luck and hard work and dedication — we’ll get there. And know that no matter what happens or where we end up, you could never disappoint me; you’re always inspiring me, even when times are tough or things don’t go as planned.
I’m not naïve enough to say our company is going to change the world, but I’m naïve enough to keep dreaming we might. And if there are enough other dreamers out there, maybe someday we can — SRSLY.
x
Caroline
