Taking Selfies As A Form Of Self Care
As a trans woman who’s struggled with body image issues, I know what it’s like to only be reminded of your dreaded flaws when you look at yourself. I used to leap behind the nearest tree whenever anyone got a camera out because I despised the idea of having my likeness captured. I thought my appearance was awkward and ugly, so I certainly didn’t want myself immortalized.
But over the last year I’ve found something that’s really helped my self-confidence: taking selfies, in my own time, with my own camera.
You might think taking selfies would have the opposite effect on my mental health when I already struggle with my appearance, but that’s not been the case. While I used to fixate on the parts of my face I wanted changed, those pesky features I especially disliked, I now just focus on taking a nice photo for myself. I think about how if I especially like the result, I can even send it to my friends, using it as a little visual message that I‘m doing okay.
I’m starting to see my physical flaws not as something I want fixed, but just as the fun little quirks that make my appearance uniquely mine. If I can’t change them, I may as well learn to love and accept them, right?
The key to selfies helping me reach this new mindset was realizing they put me in full control of how I’m seen by the world. When you’re taking a selfie, you’re not at the mercy of someone else’s shutter-finger — you’re the one that gets to pick the where, when and how. With a selfie, there’s no urgency and no pressure to be perfect. If you don’t like the photo you take, then you can simply not share it. You can even delete an unwanted photo right there and then, nobody has to know!
When you take your time and find that one shot you really like, where everything lined up just right and you’re rocking your best angle, it can be a wonderful boost to your self esteem. It’s a lightning bolt moment that says yes, you look that gorgeous! That’s you!
Taking selfies is also inherently an act of affirmation. It’s like planting your feet in the ground and saying to the world, “I’m here. I’m visible. I matter.” I’ve started to think of selfies as notches in a timeline — they’re signs I got through the bad times and made it to the next chapter of my life. It’s easy for time to drift by and for days and weeks to blur together, especially if you’re often busy with work. But selfies can capture a memory and mark little moments in time you may otherwise miss. They remind you that you’re making progress, even if it’s just by turning up to your life every day and doing your thing.
Selfies are also give you an excuse to get outside in order to capture the best photos. During the week, I work full-time in a windowless office; so when the weekend arrives, I’m often tempted to sleep it off, despite how much I really could use some sun and fresh air. Since photography is best done outside in the daylight after all, knowing I can snap some nice pictures of myself while the sun is up helps give me that push to roll off the sofa and get out there.
Lots of free selfie apps like Instagram or B612 come with filters, which provide useful and fun ways to touch up a photo. Once I discovered the magic of filters, how they can smooth away blemishes or make that lipstick color really pop, I’ve rarely taken a photo without one. Virtually every magazine or online photo shoot has been edited in some way, so I figure why not edit my own shot, too? I don’t personally subscribe to any of that #nomakeup #nofilter stuff, that all feels a little too competitive to me. Instead, I just see selfies as being about ending up with a photo that makes you happy, regardless. If it takes a little tweaking to get there, then so be it! It’s all about getting an end result that you’re happy to share, and to show off how you want to be seen.
If you’re often unhappy with your appearance, then I recommend heading somewhere with nice lighting, maybe putting on a bit of makeup or your favorite outfit, and snapping some photos of yourself. I don’t think there are many better ways to celebrate your own appearance than taking a selfie.
