There’s a scene in Miranda July’s “Me and You and Everyone We Know” where a young girl talks about her hope chest. She says, “When I get married, all of this stuff will belong to my husband and my daughter. Everything I have here will be theirs. All of it. It’s my dowry.” In it is a set of towels, a juice pitcher, an electric kettle and other homewares. She buys all of these things with her own money. It’s interesting how this little girl makes a concept that we think of as so archaic and sexist seem sweet and dreamy.
I thought about what I would put in my hope chest. Not for my future husband, but for my future self. Because you’re the only person you have to be with forever, right? So here are the things I’m collecting for a rich future with myself.
The Perfect Capsule Wardrobe
I want to own only my favorite clothes. Ones that make me feel completely like myself and look hella fly in, and nothing else. The true essence of my style seems to lean heavily toward Emma Stone meets Carey Mulligan in “An Education” meets Audrey Hepburn. So basically, slim pants with a knit top and flats.
“Loyal and Stylish Friends”
I took this one from a wish list I’d made in my fourth grade diary. I was desperate to go to middle school and become a cool and popular teen, an idea that was heavily influenced by “Lizzie McGuire” and the Mary-Kate and Ashley “Two of a Kind” book series. The stylish part isn’t as important to me anymore, but I’ve gotten better at initiating, maintaining and appreciating my female friendships.
A Remote Job
This one is just practical for cat moms and people who enjoy loungewear, working in contorted positions on the couch and the want to travel while working. All of which I am. Ideally, I would also have the option of working from my breakfast nook.
A Year’s Worth of Savings
I want the pride of knowing that I was able to save a significant amount of money, and could also leave a bad job or relationship and support myself if I needed to. I could also use it to go on sabbatical, take a mental health year, pursue other interests, travel, w/e.
The Ability to Give Myself a Blow-Out
I want my hair to look perfectly coiffed like a shampoo ad/Victoria’s Secret Angel. This has to be possible, right? Is working a round brush with one hand while holding a blow dryer with the other something that can be learned? Maybe I’ll just buy one of those As Seen On TV Hair Dryer Stands. Or be able to afford to go to a Dry Bar once a week.
An Acceptance of My Body
The way that I kept telling my high school self that my skin would clear up once I graduated (which it hasn’t), now in my twenties, I’m telling myself that once I am 30, I will finally love my body. I’m working everyday to be kinder to myself so that my future self — whether it be tomorrow, a week from now or 10 years from now — can reap the benefits.
Anna Karina’s “A Woman Is a Woman” Makeup Look
Throughout the film she has one makeup look that is completely stunning and needs to come back: light blue eyeshadow, winged liner and pale pink lipstick and blush. It’s so totally ’60s and girly, and I love it. This will be my signature everyday makeup look.
A Closer Relationship With My Mother
Most people hold up “Gilmore Girls” as the ultimate aspirational mother-daughter relationship, but I always think of the “Mom’s Best Friend” episode of Lizzie McGuire. Like Lizzie, I realize that I am underappreciating my mom and know that she won’t always be around. Lizzie is seeking a more intimate and communicative relationship with her mother. To share thoughts and experiences as two women. As I get older, the more I see my mom as not just a mom, but a woman. And I really want to get to know that woman.
Self-Knowledge
Each time I learn something about myself, the easier being a person seems to be. Things like knowing how to take care of myself, entertain myself, what does and doesn’t look good on me, what I do and don’t like, what I will and won’t put up with, things to avoid that are bad for my mental condition, things that scare me but that I should do anyway, etc.
All-Black Undergarments
This just seems chic AF.
