Sexuality in 2018?

“In today’s world, we often reduce human sexuality to a mere act rather than an evolving, living, breathing part of who we are. We are human. We feel, we imagine, we create, we emote, and we express ourselves in everything we do. We seek out pleasure and we crave connection. Erotic intelligence is much more than mere reproductive health and function. It’s our personality, our creativity, imagination, and personal expression. It’s the way we perceive, connect, and engage with the world around us.”

- Centre for Erotic Intelligence

I love this quote. To me, it’s incredibly powerful. When I stumbled upon it 8 months ago, I felt…relieved. Someone had put into words, and succinctly at that, what I intuitively knew to be true but had been struggling to articulate. Sex is more than just a physical act, it’s a complex web of interactions that seeps into every fibre of who we are. Knowing this has allowed me to understand myself in new and exciting ways, to unlock my potential, especially in my everyday encounters with those around me. What I really love about this quote though, is its awareness that our sexuality isn’t stagnant. Instead, it’s constantly evolving and adapting as we move through our lives.

Take a moment and rewind 10 years. Who were you then? What did you believe to be true about sex and your own sexuality?

I imagine that a few things may have changed between you now versus your ten-years-ago-self, but what are those things? And more so, what does sexuality really mean in 2018? To better understand this question, my co-founder @AnnaHushlak and I set out to explore it. Let’s call it, a journey into the great unknown. Ten months later, what is glaringly apparent, is that there is no one-size-fits-all to our sexuality.

Unfortunately, the sad fact remains that, as a topic, sexuality remains shadowed by a cloud of shame. So, in theory, whilst we may have the ability to reconstruct how we think about sexuality, the reality is that many of us don’t have the freedom, support or resources to actually do just that in practice. So, what do I do when I’m told I can’t do something? I do it anyways.

My challenge for 2018 is to reinvent and redefine the word ‘sexuality’ according to what I need, not to what I should be.

This means not only acknowledging my own needs, but accepting and acting on them. Determined to bring others on this journey and to create a space for everyone to freely and explore their ever-evolving sexualities, the teak at Leika have created ‘Taboo Tuesdays’.

Taboo Tuesdays bring together the curious and the open-minded. These are the individuals looking to broaden their understanding of self and to change their relationship to sex.

The events run every second Tuesday and cover what are seen as ‘taboo’ topics. They are open to anyone and everyone, the more diverse the group, the more interesting the conversations. The first rule of Taboo Tuesdays is to reserve judgement and bring an open mind. The second rule? To reserve judgement and bring an open mind.

We kicked off the series this week with a topical and often controversial topic [drum rrrrrrrrrroll]… ‘Polyamory’. It was a brilliant evening, shared with 25 open-minded individuals from a myriad of ethnicities, ages, genders, and degrees of experience.

We asked the question: does polyamory have a place in 2018?’ and the retort — ‘does monogamy?’

You don’t have to agree. We’re not asking these questions to form consensus. Instead, we are trying to create an environment for exploration. When our ‘sexuality is an evolving, living, breathing part of who we are’, isn’t it important to check in with ourselves regularly? Isn’t it important to see whether what we believe still serves us? And if not, whether there are alternative ways to, not just express, but also love and accept ourselves?

If you’d like to join our community and come along for some thought provoking conversation, join us for the next Taboo Tuesday! Sign up here and keep an eye out for the next topic, we’ve had some great suggestions already!