The Worst Mood

Dave popped another blister on his packet of off-brand nicotine gum and crunched the small piece of gum between his back teeth. He waited for the familiar sharp taste to hit and he tried to relax at the small table in the small bar at the Minnesota Saint-Paul airport. His flight to Seattle had been delayed another hour and he had just called to push his meeting back another hour. Again. Dave wished he could go outside and light up again, but his doctor had told him that he was dancing with cancer at the rate he smoked. He didn’t want to die, but life felt like hell without being able to smoke.

The cute waitress dropped of his overcooked burger without cheese and a side salad with oil and vinegar. Dave was also cutting out french fries, chips — basically all the food groups that made life without smoking bearable. Doctor whats-her-face looking down at him without a shirt on and blood pressure collar on his arm. She was always talking about how if he wanted live past forty he was going to make some changes in his life.

“You motherfucker. I will fucking fly there for a few hours just to gut you with a seafood fork and pour a salty margarita into your gaping fat belly if you do not close this fucking account. Grow some balls for once in your life and actually get something accomplished,” The skinny irate woman at the table next to Dave shouted into her phone.

She was dressed like a typical management consultant on a business trip. Grey top, grey bottom, Tom Ford glasses, perfect sized roller bag, and a Rolex. The young family with the crying baby took her attention away from the house salad and she glared at the bawling child for a few moments before picking at her miserable salad.

Dave guessed she wasn’t in the big 3 and was probably somewhere lower on the hierarchy of consulting firms. His beer was getting warm. Fuck it, he had an hour to kill.

“Bad night?” He asked.

She kept picking at her salad ignoring Dave who was almost sitting across from her.

Dave stole the hot sauce off her table and started shaking it over all of his food. The last thing he could still eat that gave him pleasure was at least calorie free. Ulcers were next considering his luck.

The woman looked up at the brazen filching of the hot sauce.

“Bad night?” Dave asked returning the condiment to it’s aluminum holster.

She snorted and just nodded her head.

“You know, when I was your age and I was having a shit night I would try and seduce someone at a bar. And just when things are starting to go my way I would just ghost and leave her hanging. Wondering.”

“That seems a little sadistic doesn’t it?” She asked with a smile. She had cute dimples when she smiled.

“You just told someone you would ‘gut him with a seafood fork and pour a salty margarita into his gaping fat belly’ among other things,” Dave told her with a laugh.

“Yeah, that was a pretty fucked up thing to say to someone you work with.”

“I hope he isn’t your direct report,” Dave told her.

“Oh he is, but I caught him fucking my intern in my office one night. That piece of shit should have gotten fired then, but my intern begged me to not do anything. It was his idea he told me and he seduced Ronald.”

“Oh shit, that does sound pretty fucked,” Dave told her before taking a bite of his burger.

“Yeah, I should have just fired them both, but I was going through some shit with my ex-husband at the time and I felt forgiving.”

“Fuck, this food is awful,” Dave said. “He cheat on you or something?”

“We both cheated on each other. Do not get married before you are forty or somewhere older.”

“Amen,” Dave said and raised his warm beer before washing down the aftertaste of the burger.

The woman looked down at her Rolex and shook her head. She threw down forty on the table and gathered up her purse and pulled the handle on her suitcase. She rummaged around in her purse for a minute and pulled out a business card. She leaned over and put a hand on Dave’s shoulder and placed the business card on top of his burger.

“In case you regretted asking my name and my number give me a call sometime. I gotta run,” She told him. She trailed her her fingers across the back of Dave’s neck as she walked away and the sound of her suitcase’s wheels rattled on the tile inside the shitty airport bar.

Sharon Davies, MBA

Davies and Associates

Minneapolis, Minnesota

555–234–5234

SDavies@Davies.com

Dave smiled and put the card into his pocket and pushed the burger away. He signaled at the waitress for another drink. The baby started crying again and Dave checked how many chewy cigarettes he had left. He needed to ration for the flight.

His phone buzzed. United 234 CANCELED.

Fuck.

If you liked this then check out some of my other stuff. I try to be eclectic so there should be something for everyone.

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Give me a follow Anthony Maiorana for more and hopefully hit the ❤ button somewhere on here.