Try Not to Panic if You Lose Your Roll for Initiative
All is fair in love and D&D
I am going to do it today, Ginnie thought for the hundredth time as she jammed her Player’s Handbook and dice into her knapsack. I’m going to tell her how I feel.
She stopped in front of her hall mirror and looked herself over ‘just one more time.’ Fack I look frumpy in this sweater. But frumpy is in, right? Like Bohemian slash Devil May Care. And cozy! She’ll want to snuggle up with me.
I am a loveable teddy bear. I am an opulent sex goddess. She turned to get a better view of herself from the back. I am a facking pumpkin. She kicked out her hip in her best attempt at sassy. No — pumpkin SPICE!
She then added her approximation of pouty lips and sultry eyes. Gawd, now I look like I’m trying to take a poop. Fuckmylife these affirmations suck. I even suck at affirmations!
She grimaced and applied a fresh coat of “Model Behavior,” her new favourite (overpriced) Mac lipstick. It was a shade of deep violet. She was shooting for ‘shameless flirt,’ but she suspected it looked more like ‘grape juice mouth’. It immediately smeared on her teeth and she tried uselessly to wipe it off with her tongue while she bolted her door.
