If coding were like baking cookies

10/11/2017

Baking (session?) cookies:

• Pre-Heat the oven to 350.
• You spend ten minutes on Stack Ovenflow figuring out why your oven doesn’t have this temperature, until you release that it’s an American recipe with degrees in Fahrenheit.
• Measure out and combine the dry ingredients in a bowl and set aside.
• You will then completely forget to use them.
• Cream together the butter and sugars until mixed.
• 89% of the mixing will happen in the first 5 seconds and the remaining 11% will take ten minutes. There is a random chance that your mixing will be refused entirely but if you try again it will mysteriously work.
• Add in the egg, vanilla, honey and peanut butter. Blend until smooth.
• This step goes easily and you get cocky and stop paying close attention.
• Add in the dry ingredients and mix well. The batter is quite thick, you’ll know it’s mixed well when your arm starts to hurt!
• ​As above, you’ve forgotten all about the dry ingredients and you jump straight to “mix well”. You mix for 20 minutes and sprain your wrist before you think to read the instructions more thoroughly and add the dry ingredients.
• Using generous rounded tablespoonfuls, place into roughly circular shapes on a baking tray. (You should get 12 exactly).
• You spend 1.5 days trying to find out from the business team what exactly a “rounded tablespoonful” and “roughly circular” are.
• Put into the center of the oven for 10–12 minutes. I do 10 minutes which gives you a slight crunch on the outside and a velvety smooth inside. If you prefer a crunchier cookie, do 12 minutes but no more. Any more time and they taste burnt!
• ​You haven’t tested your cookies before your guests arrive and you’re using a waterfall delivery system so you put all your cookies on one tray. You then get distracted by your guests and burn the cookies and have to send to Deliveroo for more cookies.

With thanks to Nigella!