Welcome to Britain

You’ve got a three year old. They’re a typical kid of that age: boisterous, noisy, unaware of anything that doesn’t involve instant gratifcation of their own needs, or consequences.

One day, your three year old comes home from playgroup telling you that some of their friends (let’s call them Arron and Nigel, just to pluck two names magically out of the air) have told them that the bestest drink in the whole wide world is Domestos. And the very bestest tasting Domestos comes in beautiful blue bottles with a very colourful label.

You’ve got a bottle of blue Domestos in the kitchen cupboard. They’ve seen it, but you’ve kept it from them.

So they want some. Now.

And because they want to drink the lovely blue Domestos, you have to have some too. Because that’s how things work in this house.

And if you don’t let them drink the blue Domestos they will do a huge squishy poo on the kitchen floor and roll around in it, so you’ll be sorry. So there.

As a responsible parent, what do you do? Clearly, the blue Domestos is what they want. They’ve clearly asked for it, so you have to give it to them, right?

Or do you say, “No. You can’t. Because bad things will happen to you if you drink bleach. And you will get very very ill. You may even die. And if you do that poo, you’ll have to walk around with poo in your pants, and on your hands. And then you’ll have to have a bath to clean it all off, which you hate most of all.”

“I DON’T CARE! I WANT IT! NOW!”

Welcome to Britain in 2018.