MAD LIBS

How To Lose [73] Pounds and [Foolishly] Meet Your New Year’s Resolution

Losing weight in 2021

Photo by Thomas Yohei on Unsplash

Disclaimer: This story is intended to be random and humorous. It is published in Fill in the Blanks publication, inspired by the classic game, Mad Libs. Blank words contributed by Elan Cassandra, Rujenx, Kayla Vokolek, Julia Appa, Damon Ferrara, Dariuš Butkevičius, Jamaal Ameer, and Quy Ma.

Millions of [wenches] decide that weight loss is one of their New Year’s Resolutions every year. “New Year, New Me!” I hear that [cry] all the time.

It’s time for people to stop making excuses and follow this weight loss plan! It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to become as skinny as [Shaq] or stop being out of breath when walking [Lucky].

Every day you must follow these steps to lose weight:

1. You must [gesticulate][crazily] while wearing [a mini skirt]
2. Walk until you reach [Hell], this will make you [heated] but stick to it for the best results
3. Drink [shiny][poison] twice daily
4. Change your diet to [bubbles] and then [fantasize] [angrily]
5. Practice the New Yoga Pose called [Lumberjack] so you can have the energy to keep up with [clones of Portuguese footballer…