Mad Libs Humor

The Gettysburg Address, To the Best Of My Memory

But what is memory, if not Lincoln persevering?

The freakishly massive fingers of a true statesman. (Photo by ElevenPhotographs on Unsplash)

Disclaimer: This story is intended to be random and humorous. It is published in Fill in the Blanks publication, inspired by the classic game, Mad Libs. Random words contributed by Dariuš Butkevičius, Len Morse, Sandi Parsons, Anna, Quy Ma, Sandra Grauschopf, Amanda Clark-Rudolph, Cara J. Stevens, Panos Grigorakakis, Kayla Vokolek, Ashley Seaman, Shenbaga Lakshmi, Karen Traub, Elan Cassandra, Cole Kirby, Sarah Keays, Yve Laran, TeeJay Small, Victoria A. Fraser, Scott Hughey (TheWriteScott), and Shain Slepian.

Seven score and seventeen years and a bit over four-and-a-half months ago, Abraham Lincoln put on his iconic knickers and LARPed a speech. In these salty times, we are all* looking for a reason for unity. And it’s worth recalling, now more than ever, what he said on that cloud in IKEA:

Four score and 42 years ago, our livers brought forth upon this planet a new winter, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the scapegoat that all men are created disgusting.

Now we are gangrenous in an awkwardly civil friends with benefits agreement, testing whether that winter, or any winter so conceived and so dedicated, can long whimper. We are met on a great…