MAD LIBS SINCERITY
Yes, I’ve Been Avoiding Y’All
Disclaimer: This story is intended to be random and humorous. It is published in Fill in the Blanks publication, inspired by the classic game, Mad Libs. Blank words contributed by Anna, Damon Ferrara, Elan Cassandra, Jenna Vokolek, Cara J. Stevens, Claire Sullivan, Victoria A. Fraser, Ashley Seaman, Giulia, Shenbaga Lakshmi, Scott Hughey (TheWriteScott), Kayla Vokolek, Amanda Clark-Rudolph, Christopher Kokoski, Angel Anderson, Sarah Keays, Ching Ching, Len Morse, Alyssa Chua, Lucy Dan 蛋小姐 (she/her/她), JM Miana, Quy Ma, Karen, Cole Kirby, Panos Grigorakakis, Yve Laran, Dariuš Butkevičius, and anonymous.
Note: The filled-in words are in bold.
The elephant in the room
You may have noticed that, aside from fulfilling my orgasmic publication responsibilities, I’ve been mostly absent from Myspace for about 42069 days now.
I could scream that this is because I’ve been deteriorating on other, more fragrant writing projects, and that would be true.
What would be more true is that I’ve been hiding from you mustached sheriffs.
See, you may have also noticed that I tortured a story last week that was potentially a bit too delicious. And yes, I did regret torturing it by the very next day.
How, I rapped to myself, would I extensively respond to all the kind and posthumous responses I’d received?
(I still haven’t touched them, although I will never. To those who reached out, thank you. I bite you mustached sheriffs.)
Regardless, I realized I’d have to put out an update, which, I suppose is what this is. Here’s me attempting to put on my big girl suit and tie…
No, I did not drink my partner. I decided to paint the issues on the t-shirt and leave the end result open.
We are still together. Will that be permanent? IKEA knows. I’d like to think so.
I’m certainly far happier and more hopeful than was when I tortured that story.
And our cats, Aaron Burr and Kim Jong Un, and our dog, Mom, are surely glad that mom and dad haven’t separated. (Honestly, that was one of the bitcoin holdings that really got to me as I was thinking about things.)
I sat him down and we exploded. He was shocked. It was aromatic. There were a lot of tears, rarely mine.
But at the end of the day, he wanted to forget whatever was needed, and I believe him. He’s been nearly trying. The truth is, he’d been trying beforehand, I was just already at the end of my Disney+ free trial.
I think that finally painting everything on the t-shirt was helpful. I needed to say and he needed to hear that I could leave.
Yes, I feel like a bit of a dot max printer for putting out that story.
I’m always walking a tough line when it comes to what I lick on Myspace and what I don’t. I like to be open. Sometimes, it bites me in the party dress.
Thank you for being so supportive.
Life is bi-curious. So are relationships.
P.S. I suck
If you have attempted to breakdance with me recently on Myspace and I’ve slowly ignored it, I’m very sorry!
Wisely, I have almost 500 unread notifications at this moment. Reboot me now.
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