Wifely Stereotypes and the Punishments That Come With.
An analyzation of the ‘wife categories & boxes’ that have been influenced by pop culture.
Many women are taught in our culture that they should aspire to get married from the time they are very young. Reinforcements are everywhere by way of film, TV and social media. Money, time and energy is heavily invested in lavish weddings, and engagement parties etc. However, after the glamour settles, is being a wife still as coveted in our culture as the process of getting to the ‘throne’? Are wives in general viewed with the same admiration as brides and brides to be?
Let's look together at some of the wifely influences in pop culture history.
The Boringly Perfect Wife.
A good example of this is the popular 90s show Ally McBeal. The show centers on the perfectly imperfect, whimsical, excitingly dysfunctional main character of Ally. Her ex-boyfriend and coworker Billy is married to the safe and boring but ‘perfect on paper’ Georgia. Georgia is treated as a traditional blonde wife that doesn’t cause any problems. It's those qualities that lead Billy to initially pick her. The same reason he married her however seems to be the reason he begins to stray. The fans are geared to root for him to end up with the exciting mess Ally. Because that’s who should win right? Courtney Thorne-Smith, the actress who played Georgia, once said in an interview that the character was hard for her because fans wanted Ally and Billy to be together.
Another TV classic example of this type is Carrie and ‘Big’ on Sex and the City. When rich and successful Big marries perfect beige wearing Natasha, we are taught to root for Carries happiness. Why? Natasha is perfect/boring so again we are taught to hate her. We are rooting for the less perfect curly haired Carrie.
The Magical Wife.
On Greys Anatomy the main character Meredith initially starts the series with a hopeless crush on Dr. Derek Stephens whom she referred to classically as ‘McDreamy’. She has a one-night stand with him, but Derek ends up choosing to stay with his wife, also a doctor, Addison. Meredith pours her heart out in her classic ‘choose me’ speech, but Addison is portrayed with a mystique and appears to still have a strong hold on Derek. We are taught here that Meredith has good intentions and is desperate to compete with the higher status Addison. So, we are rooting for Meredith as she is painted to be the underdog.
A similar situation happened in the popular 90s film My Best Friend's Wedding. Here we see once again the messy single girl Jules, played by Julia Roberts, pouring her heart out and begging her best friend Michael to not pick perfectly rich Kimmy to be his wife. The magically perfect wife image may seem flattering but in the end the audience is still taught to root for the messy single girl.
The Boring in General Wife.
In the films Dreams for an Insomniac and The Sweetest Thing, both main plots revolve around a cute but modest guy trying to figure out whom he should be with. In Dreams for an Insomniac, the lead guy Eric Stoltz leaves his boring wife for yet another single messy girl who suffers from insomnia. The final straw comes when his wife doesn’t want to try any new exotic foods such as Sushi. This is meant to showcase her boredom of course. In The Sweetest Thing, Cameron Diaz is portrayed as bouncy and fun. Her character loves to dance and works in advertising. Apparently a much better combo than the more reserved brunette option Thomas Jane’s character almost married. Thank God both men realized that dancing and sushi really means everything in a marriage.
The Sad Ex-Wife.
Other 90s films such as Hope Floats and Something to Talk About both have the lead actresses portraying small town newly divorced women. They return back to being the messy single girl because their marriages failed. Their supposed to be sad and pitied till a new guy comes in to save them and remind them of their worth. The 2000s film Diary of a Mad Black Woman utilized this image as well. We are taught to feel sorry for these women and its okay to root for them because they are back as the single messy but lovable lost girl. Influencing society to believe that all divorced women are sad and back to being the messy single girl but worse this time around.
The Victim/Villain Wife.
We are often told we should shun the victim wife and that she's actually a villain. That she had it coming or she's a liar, etc. Over the past few years there has been tons of negative press about former actress Meghan Markle. Meghan Markle is currently married to Prince Harry and is often blamed for him leaving his royal role in England. She has been smeared in the media. Various trolls online have even gone as far as to wish her death.
The Other Side of the Coin.
I wonder with influences rooted in our entertainment culture, that we are teaching women that they are in a damned if you do damned if you don’t situation. If you’re a mess you’re going to stay single. If your perfectly safe, too boring, lose any of your physical appeal, or don't want babies then your spouse is sure to stray. In all cases you earned it (?).
Let’s continue to grow as a society that doesn’t label married women so harshly so that their fate can be predicted and justified.
Can women just be women even if, heaven forbid, they are married?
Thank you kindly for reading.
