When My Mother comes to Tea.
A poem by Ellie Hersey
I question my life over;
When my Mother comes to Tea.
She’s charming and I’m disarmed;
And stop questioning how she hurt me.
I have this anger while she’s away,
About all the abuse I faced
But when she’s here
It all disappears
And I feel myself led astray.
To the thoughts of guilt and sorrow
That I left her all alone
In the house to take care of herself
When I went to another zone.
I have nightmares
So many nightmares;
About telling her that she’s not right,
For knocking her child into a draw,
And scaring her for life.
But when my Mother comes to Tea,
She’s all smiles and politeness
Towards me,
That I feel wrong
To tell her how much damage she’s done
And my anger is long gone.
“It would be like getting angry at a different person”
I tell myself
As my Mother sips her Tea
I would have no evidence to back myself up
And then she would be angry at me.
I moved out for a reason
But that reason melts away
With the hot tea and raspberry jam
All sitting nicely on the tray.
How do I live like this?
How did I live with her so long?
My thoughts such as these can go on forever and ever,
I wish she was just gone.
