Humans of Finch, Vol 2. Meet Nino
Welcome to the second edition of Humans of Finch!
In this series, folks will be sharing their stories about all walks of life. We hope this will be a place where we all can see there are others like us out there, where we can remember we are not alone, where we can build our empathy for each other, and where we can find some strength, joy, and inspiration.
Interested in sharing your story for a future edition? Learn more here.
If you have feedback for us, or if you’re a journalist or writer who would like to interview folks in the community and write these profiles, please reach out to us at humans-of-finch@befinch.com.
For our second edition, meet Nino, and learn how one of our founders overcame the beast of self-criticism.
What was one of the major struggles you’ve experienced during your mental health journey?
“My biggest mental health struggles happened maybe ~4 years ago when I struggled a lot with constant and deeply rooted self-criticism. It happened so slowly in the span of 2–3 years that I can’t recall how it exactly began or how I responded to my mental state in the early days.
What still clearly stands out to me today though is how it felt when I was in the bottom of that pit. I vividly remember that I hated the person I was and I dreaded going through each day as “me”. I was so disappointed that I was my own main character. It was difficult to live in my own skin and I resented having to exist with myself. At some point I didn’t want to ever meet with people and I wanted to just sleep all day just so that I don’t have to role play as myself. All trace of confidence I used to have felt gone and it was hard to believe again that there would be a better future. The toughest part about all of this was that my brain truly believed that I was the “root problem” of all my mental issues, and that made me resent myself even more. This belief made it very hard for me to even start working on these issues, since I always thought that I was the issue.
Those feeling were so powerful that it always takes me aback whenever I recall. It’s a bit surreal and gives me a big sense of gratitude now that I’m in a much better place.”
What were a few things you found helpful for healing?
“I was very lucky that I was surrounded by family, friends and people who care about me. I remember it took them a while to even convince me to seek help and help me to not constantly blame myself. It’s funny to look back, but I remember that the first time Steph asked me to see a therapist, we got into a fight because I thought she just didn’t want to talk to me.
After some countless conversations with my support system, the first step of healing for me was to believe that I wasn’t the problem and I could get and feel better about myself if I put some effort towards it. This shift in mindset is very important to me since it was the first time I could feel some hope again.
Otherwise, I pretty much tried so many different things to figure out what I needed to do to be proactive about my mental health. The two areas that I found particularly helpful to help reframe my experiences was Stoicism and Gratitude practice. Stoicism shifted my emphasis from feeling satisfied by outcomes and helped me instead focus on my effort and the intent that I put every single day. Gratitude practice in parallel was helpful for grounding me and help me see the positive angles of many little things I overlooked before.”
What is one surprising learning you had from your mental health journey?
“It was surprising to realize that the seemingly simple practice of gratitude could be such a key factor to helping me live a happier life. My view of what’s important to my happiness has changed so much over the past few years. It feels very different to know that I can find happiness and contentment in every little thing in life that I often overlooked. Re-training my tendency to start noticing more and more of the little things has helped me to not take things for granted, to regain some confidence, and to be happy with myself as the main character of my story.”
We hope you enjoyed the second edition of Humans of Finch! If you are interested in sharing your story for a future edition, please share your information here. If you have feedback for us, or if you’re a journalist or writer who would like to interview folks in the community and write these profiles, please reach out to us at humans-of-finch@befinch.com.
