What Matters Most

Three stories about priorities:

One.

This week I met a woman who is a pet massage therapist. When she told me this fact, I think I must have been silent for too long because she followed it up with, “I used to be a nurse but I wasn’t happy, so now I do this and I love it.” I asked her what kind of demand there is for pet massage therapists. Being the animal lover that I am, even I have never thought about getting my dog an appointment for a massage. I don’t know, maybe she’s never been stressed out? I take it back; Fourth of July, she probably could have used a nice, relaxing rub down. Those fireworks make her tense and sketchy every time. She said she works a lot with rescue animals and newly adopted dogs. This made a little more sense.

After chatting with her about her unorthodox choice of professions, I said, “I’m glad you are doing that. Both for you and the dogs.” I meant it too.

Two.

I know a guy who works at a custom framing shop. He is married with kids and he supports his family with this job. He’s had it for years and is good at it, but it isn’t a very high paying job. He hasn’t any ambitions to manage or own the shop. He is content where he is. I used to wonder why he didn’t have more ambition. When the shop went up for sale, why he didn’t buy it and become his own boss. He didn’t want it. He didn’t want the burden of the responsibility. The money didn’t matter. His happiness was found in other places.

Three.

When I was newly married, my husband and I lived in a crappy apartment next to another newly married couple of college students like us. The wife was from Spain where she met her American husband and followed him back to the States to get hitched. One night, we were cooking together and talking about her home. I wanted to learn about where she is from. I asked her what the biggest cultural difference is between Spain and America. Without hesitation she said that people in Spain work to support their real lives. Buy food, pay rent, provide for families. “In America,” she said, “Working is your life.” Is this true?

The older I get, the more I consider what is really going to make life better for my family, -what matters most. Will we be happier if we make more money? Will we be better contributors to the world if we fork out money for private schools? Will we have better characters if we live in a certain type of neighborhood?

As I think about my dreams for my children, here is what I come up with:
• I want them to feel joy and love in their lives.
• I want them to leave the world better than they found it.
• I want them to have adventures to learn from and tell stories about.

My goal then, is to focus on ways which I can guide them to this. None of those things have anything to do with money or what our culture uses to measure success, so it seems like I have my work cut out for me. But if any one of my children finds fulfillment in dog massage, then I am going to be there, leash in hand, first one in line.

What about you? How do you define success? Have you decided what matters most in your life?

this post originally appeared on my blogsite http://findmeaning.net/what-matters-most/