Write a Letter to Your Future Self

Several years ago, I was participating in a creative recharge project that consisted of a list of 100 different activities that were meant to spark creativity or open your mind to new possibilities. Some of the activities involved writing letters.

Write a letter to someone you admire. Write a letter to your past self. Write a letter to your future self.

I keep the whole project in a binder. There are art prints, photographs, drawings, letters and lists. A few days ago, I stumbled upon the binder and loved looking through it again. The letters were especially fun to read. I had forgotten who I wrote about in the “letter to someone you admire”. It didn’t have a name on it, and only began with “Dear Friend,” but as soon as I began to read it, I knew exactly who it was about. My feelings for this person haven’t changed but it was fun to read the specifics of that time and why I chose her as someone I admire.

The letter I wrote to my past self was mostly full of warnings. It was written to my high school senior self and this was an interesting read actually, because it seemed like I was trying to warn against and avoid every heartache I ever experienced up to that point in life.

The letter I enjoyed reading the most is the letter I wrote to my future self. I wrote it seven years ago an as I read the letter, it truly felt like it was written by someone I used to know. Someone I used to be. I am different now, as we all are seven years later.

Here is what it said:

Dear Kelly,

I have been thinking about how to write this letter for a few days. I have been trying to figure out what to say to you. As I think about the things that are relevant to both of us, the first thing that comes to mind is the boys. Do they visit much? I hope I did a good job. I hope they turned out all right despite my shortcomings. I hope I gave them a good start and that they know how much I love them. I hope I was able to teach them enough about the gospel. I try to be a good example and live my life in a way that shows them how to be happy through my actions. But, this is a hard role I have undertaken! Motherhood is truly a challenge. The challenge. Each day, I am face to face with my flaws and inadequacies. I have a hard time seeing the big picture of life. I only hope that my intentions count for something, and that my efforts were enough. I hope I am spending enough time with the boys. I hope I am paying attention to the details enough so you have wonderful memories of this time. I want you to be able to recall what it feels like to be needed by a two-year-old Beck. I want you to remember what it feels like to sit in a chair in his darkened room singing to him while he sucks his thumb and hums along with you, or to remember the sound of his voice when he says, “Mama”. I want you to remember how Tate’s little five year old hands look and feel in yours. And how his eyes look when he smiles and how contagious his giggle is. I want you to remember the sweetness and sensitivity of Josh. How creative and imaginative his mind is. I hope you can recall how his face looks when he feels proud of himself. And how he makes you laugh everyday with his clever observations. I hope your marriage is as happy for you as mine is for me. I hope I showed Kelly enough appreciation and love. I hope you two still have fun together. I really think I picked a good partner for you. He is someone that accepts all of my craziness and I’m sure he will accept yours too and love you just the same. I’m trying everyday to reach the spiritual goals I have set. It will be great to see you reaping the rewards of my work. It is not easy, but I know you’ll say it was worth it. I’m trying not to let you down. I hope I have behaved in ways that will affect people around me in a positive way. I hope people look back on their dealings with me and feel glad to have known me. You will be fortunate yourself, if you still have some of the friendships I enjoy now. I can only imagine how much richer these relationships will become when seasoned by time.

This is less important, but I really hope you are not fat. I am trying hard to form good eating habits so I won’t have to apologize to you later.

I try everyday to develop talents and interests so you will have a fulfilling life even after these boys leave home. I hope you laugh everyday. I hope you finally get rid of that bindweed in the backyard. I’m jealous that you get to see all the plants and designs I’ve put together in the garden in their maturity.

My biggest wish for you though, is that you learn from my mistakes. They are many, but I think there are lessons in each of them and if you focus on those, you will look back with no regrets.

Love, Kelly

I watched a TED talk called The Psychology of Your Future Self. If you have 7 minutes, you should watch it. It’s a good one. It talks about how we tend to think that we are, at this very moment in time, the people we are always going to be. And, even though we know that we have changed (sometimes profoundly) through the years, we somehow can’t imagine a future in which our opinions or preferences or way of thinking will ever be different than what they are now.

It’s interesting to me to think about because it’s true. While I am technically the same person as I was ten years ago, my life looks completely different. My opinions are not all the same. I have softened in some areas and grown firmer in others. My priorities are different. I have evolved.

I have decided to write a letter to myself every year on my birthday. My birthday is coming up next month so I’m already thinking about what I want to say. I wish I was better about journaling but I think this will be a doable archive of personal history that will be like a time capsule.

Originally published at findmeaning.net on May 12, 2015.